Noise Pollution!

I woke up to the screech of a high pitched siren sound piercing through my bedroom window. It was not varied, like that of a tornado siren that intensifies and quiets as it rotates round and round, but rather, constant and persistent.

It made my shoulders tighten and my eyes squint.

It did not go away -- has not gone away.

I would liken it to fingernails scratching down a chalk board.

Anyone else reeling from the mere thought of it?

The kids woke up, noticing the same sound and wondered what it was.

The dog even laid in his kennel whimpering. 

Noise pollution. I don't know what the source is, but that’s what I am calling it.  I looked it up in the dictionary.

noise pollution

n.

Environmental noise that is annoying, distracting, or physically harmful.

And I thought to myself -- barely over the noise that was driving me crazy -- life is full of noise pollution

and I don’t want to add to it.

I don’t want to add to the noise of sarcasm.

I don’t want to add to the noise of unbelief.

I don’t want to add to the noise of criticism.

I don’t want to add to the noise of lies.

I don’t want to add to the noise of complaining.

I don’t want to add to the noise of gossip.

I don’t want to add to the noise of busyness.

I don’t want to add to the noise of negative self talk.

You must admit –there’s a lot of noise out there – environmental noise, emotional noise, exasperating noise.

There are noises that both come out of our mouths and echo around in our hearts and minds – noises that are annoying, distracting and perhaps most often -- harmful.

They creep in, even when we try not to listen to them and agitate the soul.

I’m convicted. I may not be able to do anything about the high-pitched noise that is in the air today, but I can do something about the noise I make.

I don’t want to add to the noise and pollute the air and hearts around me.

I want to add to the peace. 

I want the sounds that I make to be edifying, encouraging and filled with hope.

Oh, Jesus, I need your grace to not add to the noise, but to bring peace.

Gossip Good? Oh! Please! -- I Don't Think So!

“Listen to this,” I said to my teenage daughter, as we sat waiting in the doctor’s office, as I read to her from a magazine article on gossip.

 ‘It’s a way to navigate our social networks … we also gossip to let others know who we are.  Say you pass on a juicy nugget about a neighbor’s infidelity.  Offering your opinion about it lets you show off your own moral fiber. In return, you find out whether the person you’re dishing with agrees with you. As you tsk-tsk together over the details, what you’re really doing is saying ‘We’re better than that,’ says Dr. Fisher.  “You’re reaffirming and sharing your own values.”  (Rebook. Feb 2011.  “Have You Heard? Admit it, you love a good piece of gossip.  Here’s why it’s not as bad a habit as you may think” pg 24).

Oh, please!  Gossip is good? I wanted to throw up.  Were they serious?  That article made me mad – and deeply sad.

Then I had a flashback of a memory. 

Several years ago, I received a phone call from a friend of mine.  It was during a very challenging and pain splattered time for our family.

“Andrea, this is hard for me to tell you, but I think you need to know.  This afternoon I was having lunch with two other friends. While we were sitting at the table, we heard two women at the table next to us talking about you and your family.”

My friend went on to share with me the very hurtful details that these two other women were saying about my children, about me and about my husband -- details which I’d rather not even repeat here.

I listened, speechless, my heart splayed out on a platter. 

“Well, Andrea, we were quite upset by what they were saying about you, and so we stood up and approached them at their table. We said, ‘We just want you to know that we know that family and you have no right to talk about them in that way.’  The 2 women just stared at us and we sat down.  We left shortly after that, very upset, but had to return to get a coat that we forgot. When we went back in, we took advantage of one more opportunity and said to the women, ‘Let this be a lesson to all of us. We should not talk about other people.’”

I thanked my friend for her call. I appreciated her honesty and her willingness to share with me when I knew it was hard for her to do. She knew it would hurt me, but that it was important that I know.

Gossip. Despite the author’s opinions from Redbook, I would disagree. Does gossip really show off our own moral fiber, revealing what we believe (in a positive light)? And as you put someone else down, are you really reaffirming and sharing your own values?

Well, I suppose it does show off our moral fiber—it shows that our moral fiber is frayed and dirty.   It shows that we are a superficial people who are bent towards self, easily tempted to put others down and elevate ourselves.  It says that we do not honor the value of others.  Gossip destroys.

Gossip is NOT good.

I was hurt by the gossip, but it did teach me a lesson.  I’m not perfect at it, but when tempted to gossip, I remember the pain that I felt when I heard what these women were saying about me and my family in public and I remember what the Lord says, “Love one another.”   

I am thankful for my friends who stood up for me. I know it cost them something. They were brave. They loved me. And I'm also thankful for an opportunity to talk to my teenage daughter about the destruction of gossip. It was good for us to look at the article and discern what is truth and what is a lie, and it was good to be able to share with her a story from my life.How about you?

Have you ever overheard gossip about yourself? Have you ever been told that someone is gossiping about you? How did it make you feel?  How did it change how you behave?

A Fashion Faux Pas

Yuck! I hate being human sometimes. It is the “making mistakes” part that gets old, wouldn’t you say?

I mean, try as we will to do what is right, we just can’t help ourselves. Time and time again, we mess up. Sometimes, it’s just a bit more public than others. That’s what happened to me the other day. So, at the expense of being authentic – I’m hanging out some dirty laundry.

I put on the piece of clothing without even realizing it was within my reach. It didn’t fit nor was it my color, but I wore it anyway and its name was “unkindness with a hint of gossip.” I knew it right away, but I tried to minimize it, rationalize it and even deny it. However, as the hours went by and I increasingly regretted my doing what I did, the clothing began to feel like shrink wrap on my skin, suffocating me of my joy.

I couldn’t shake it off; I needed help. I asked the Lord to forgive me, which I believe He did, but I woke up the next morning with the sense that there was more that needed to be done. Now, I could have stuffed the unwanted piece of clothing in the closet, but I know from years of dirty laundry experience, it would just begin to rot and smell over time. Dirty laundry does not get clean on its own (unfortunately, as I am working through eight loads in this household, today). In addition, I did not want my friends to remember me wearing this unsightly piece of clothing, but the beautiful dress of humility.

I called them up, explained and apologized. They were gracious, of course, and forgave me, just as I anticipated. They said that it was not a big deal and we all make mistakes; I appreciate that, but I needed them to know that I was wrong and I cared enough to say, “I’m sorry.”

Gossip and unkind words (no matter how big or small) are very destructive. They hurt others. They hurt God. They hurt us, as individuals. They distort our ability to love each other and be sensitive to each other’s needs. They are filthy, ugly rags.

What about you? Are you tempted to wear the garment of gossip? If so, STOP. Don’t do it, it is definitely “what not to wear” -- a fashion faux pas. Rather, slip on a garment of grace. Encourage one another, be sensitive to where people have been and are now. In grace, build up rather than tear down. Be assured, a garment of grace is more attractive to wear, fits well and always comes in your perfect color.