Your Story Matters

Your story matters.

It’s true.

But sometimes we don’t believe it, do we?

We think that it is too dull or too traumatic or too disturbing or too ________.  You fill in the blank.

We fear embarrassment or, worse yet, rejection. We fear that others will think we are ugly and turn away. Or we think that our story is not important or as powerful as someone else’s story.  Or someone has told us – not with their words, perhaps – but with their actions, that our story doesn’t matter.

Lies. Lies. Lies.

May I say it again?

Your story matters.

Our stories are complicated, often confusing.  Bits and pieces of our lives are woven together, impacting one another, at times not really making sense, and yet, all forming the whole of who we are, and who God is using.

The evil one wants you to think your story is not important.  He doesn’t want you to share your story – for even though it may be difficult and painful, when you ask God into it and allow Him to use it – it brings the Lord glory – and the evil ones hates that. Really hates that.

Dear friend, I just want you to know that your story matters – because YOU MATTER.

Your story is important. I do not know how or when the Lord may use it, but I believe when we you bring it to Him, He will begin to show you the truth in it and He will use it. He may be asking you to tell it -- or maybe not now. He may be using it to work deep inside of you, as He prepares you for something in the future. He may choose to have it in a book, spoken from a platform, or flashed across the movie screen. Or it may never be shared outwardly, but rather fuel your passion to help others – perhaps others who need someone one who understands.

That’s all for today.  Just a note from someone who cares about you, relayed from a God who cares even more.  You are loved and made for a purpose and your story is part of His plan to bring change and hope and healing to a broken world.

He uses brokenness – brokenness that we have caused within ourselves and brokenness that has occurred to us – to make a difference. 

How He does it? I’ll never know. But I believe it is true, and I know He loves you.

Your story matters. It's true.

"Don't Run From Who You Are"

Last night, my family and I trodded off to see the Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader and can I just say -- it’s a 4 Dufflepuds up for me. I loved it.

From behind the 1950’s styled black, thick rimmed glasses (now facilitating the ability to see 3D) I watched the screen intently. From the beginning, I was captivated with the artistry and the beauty. Through to the end, I was mesmerized by the truths, God’s truths universally and even for me, personally.

I strongly recommend the movie. Even if you have not read the book, you won’t miss the themes of the importance of resisting temptation, the beauty of God’s plan for our lives despite dangers along the way, of hope and of change, and the continual theme of God’s grace to all of His loved ones as they meet inner personal struggles.

In particular, I was moved to tears when Lucy struggled with the temptation of wanting to be as beautiful as her sister, Susan. In a cinematic portrayal that I cannot adequately explain here, Lucy looks in the mirror and then walks through the mirror, imagining herself as if she was Susan.  In the scene, a dialogue ensues between her and her two brothers, arm in arm with her at a party. Quickly, though, she realizes that if she was Susan, then there would not have been Lucy and Narnia would not have been discovered and much more.

At the moment of her confusion, the door of the mirror of her experience closes and Aslan appears, gazing in to her face and kindly speaking to her these rich words of truth, “You doubt your value.  Don’t run from who you are.”

I didn’t have paper, so I quickly penned the words on the palm of my hand and then reached up and wiped the tears that ran down my check, with the back of my hand.

These words pierced my heart and I knew that they were from the Lord to me, too.

 Lucy came face to face with Aslan and with the truth that he used Lucy AS Lucy. He created her for a purpose, just the way she was, to be part of his plan. The Lord creates each one of us with a purpose and a plan, just the way He wants us to be.

Do you struggle with sometimes wishing that you were like someone else? More beautiful or smart or witty or put together?  Are you tempted to compare and desire to be someone that you were not created to be?

I think that as women we are prone to struggling with this very temptation – a temptation to be discontent with who we are, wondering if we were someone else, how God may better use us. But the truth is that God made me and you just the way He wanted to, for His purposes – His perfect purposes, wrapped in His love for the display of His glory. He uses me AS me and you AS you.

I desire to believe His truth for my life, and I was reminded of it last night through a box office hit, of all places. God really can work in mysterious ways, when He chooses, and how He chooses.

You are valued, dear reader, don’t run from who you are.  Trust Him for whom He made you to be. He loves you very much, and has good plans for your life -- AS you.

Numbers Dancing Around in My Head

Time for true confessions --  

I am rather competitive. 

You see,  I can be a bit competitive (okay, more than a bit) at the starting line of a race.  My blood begins to race, I get these tingling twitches in my legs, and I start seeing through the lens of the eye of the tiger. I just can’t help it.

However, this competitive spirit can rear its ugly head in some not so favorable ways.  Somewhere along the way, it morphs in to something totally different. Rather than competing in a healthy way, I start to compete against myself which gradually turns in to me defining myself by my successes and degrading myself for what I view to be failure.

Specifically, it’s been about my blog lately.  Two years ago, this month, I started it for three reasons (not necessarily in this order):

#1:  I love to write.

#2:  I felt the Lord impress on my heart to write for Him the things about Himself, life and myself that He shows me.

#3:  I love to encourage women.  It is my desire and joy to bring truth and hope to them, through the silliness, the seriousness and the sorrows of life.

But here’s the problem -- although I still feel strongly about these three things,  I also began to get caught up in the world of “The Numbers” and lately, they've been dancing around in my head. Yuck.

I started to realize that if I had a lot of “hits” in a day, I felt pretty good about myself. BUT (and it was getting to be a pretty big BUT) if I did not have as many as I hoped for, I would get discouraged and feel like maybe I should hang up the pen.

I went to the Lord (finally) and shared with Him my disappointment in myself. Why was I so easily influenced by numbers?  I knew better, but I couldn’t seem to loosen my grip on determining part of my value by whether lots or little people read my blog.

I knew what I had to do – stop checking the numbers.  I needed to go back to the reasons that I started in the first place. I needed to separate myself from the statistic counter and go with what God called me to do in the first place – write for Him, enjoy the process and trust that He would use it as He deemed fit. 

So, I’m four days in to “fasting from checking the numbers” and I feel better already. I made a commitment to the Lord that I wasn’t going to check until Christmas and I don’t like to break my promises to Him.  After Christmas, I’ll chat with the Lord on how I will handle the next phase.

Hebrews 12 says, “Let us keep our eyes fixed on Jesus … consider Him so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” 

I’m taking my eyes off the numbers and off of allowing my successes or failures to determine my value. It’s a challenge, but it’s coming, and in the process I am finding that as I keep my eyes on Jesus, I truly am less prone to growing weary and losing heart and more able to have a healthy perspective on me and the world around me.

Life is full of lessons, isn’t it?   

Addicted to Accomplishment -- Who Me?

“List-maker, box-checker, line-thrower” -- that’s me. It’s true.  Certainly,  part of it is out of necessity. Logistically running a large household gets hectic and organizational lists are helpful. However, probably the more predominate truth is that I just feel better about myself when I can take my list, check a box or make a big fat line through something that “must be done.”  Ahhh -- the sweet sense of accomplishment.

Did I just say, “ … just because it makes me feel better about myself when I … ?" Yes, indeed I did and that what is bothering me today.  I can be addicted to accomplishment – even as small as cleaning the window outside my kitchen sink.

Somehow, I get productive busyness and my value confused.  I find myself listing off to any willing listener (usually my husband) all that I need to do or have done in the day. I strive to take time to be still, but I find myself more satisfied with being busy.  Ugh. I hate the way that sounds. Can you relate?

Without warning, believing that we are busy, striving to be busy, and proving that we are busy morphs in to our proving ourselves, our value and our importance. We scramble and skitter all over the place, making sure we are serving here, cleaning there, learning this and doing that. Some of it is necessary, but let’s face it -- some of it is fluff, and although it appears harmlessly soft and squishy, it muffles out the voice of God calling us to do what He calls us to do – or more importantly, what He calls us to be.

The thing is, slowing down and being still are a struggle for me.  As soon as I try or take a chance and tell someone,  I hear this faint voice say, “Must be nice to have some time to yourself – wish I did.  Isn’t there something you should be doing?”

Now, I’m not talking about being lazy or sitting on our back-sides, I’m talking about taking time with the Lord and resting in His presence. Maybe it’s for hours – maybe it’s for days – maybe even weeks.  Imagine that.

Time spent in quietness and solitude is essential. Jesus did it. He wants us to do it, too.  We don’t need to defend it, and in fact, by sharing it (without shame – yes, pick up that chin and do not mumble under your breath, “I took some time for myself and the Lord today”) we may be encouraging others to do the same.

I just want you to know that I want to hear about your empty list.  Go ahead -- share it with me! I won’t say to you, with cynical sarcasm “It must be nice.”  Rather, I’ll say to you, “Cool! This IS great!”

Tell me that you sat still today and listened to the Lord, that you sat in His presence and allowed His love to permeate every cell of your being.  Tell me that you said “no” to a request to do something in order to the most important thing – be with Him. Share with me how you set your pen and pad down, and picked up His peace. I’ll rejoice with you, and you’ll encourage me. 

I’m going to try and “practice what I preach.”  Please pray for me.  May I pray for you?

Dear Lord,

There are so many things pulling at us. You know each and every one of them. You know which things are important and which things can wait. You even know which things we can delegate!  Help us to practice quietness – in body, mind and spirit. Help us to not be so busy that we miss You.  When we choose You, help us not to feel guilty about not getting things done.  Help us to order our days, not filling it with things so that we look important to others or feel important to ourselves but help us to know that our only importance comes from You because of You.  Amen.

Guest Blogger: Mary DeMuth

At the She Speaks conference in July, I had a chance to hear Mary DeMuth speak. I have been taking in her words of wisdom on writing and life for a couple of years, but this was the first time I saw her "live." I was touched by her authenticity and the balance in life that she portrays, as well as her advice on the writing journey.


Today, Mary is my guest blogger. I hope that you enjoy her insight and writing.
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Recently I had the privilege of hearing Charlie Peacock  teach at Mount Hermon. I loved what he had to say about art and the movement of our world, so much so that I picked up his book At The Crossroads , his magnum opus about CCM (Contemporary Christian Music). Fascinating, enlightening book. As a closet singer, and a lover of music, I so appreciate his heart and mind.

And then I read this gem:"In truth, the idea that any element of God's creation--be it music or a tree--has to do something in order to justify its existence has more to do with capitalism, consumerism, and marketing than with the doctrine of creation" (p. 104).

This turned my world upside down. Why? Because my whole life I've (wrongly) felt that in order to justify my existence on earth, I had to do things. To perform. To be perfect. To do everything right. And if I didn't (which happens every. single. day), I felt I had to reason to be here.

But that's looking at creation (me) as a commodity, not as a created being. It's assigning worth based on my intrinsic value to produce, to fill holes, to do things.

It's not true.

It's not true.

It's not true.

As much as I've entrenched this idea way deep into my DNA, it's not true that I must live up to standards or be super cool to earn my keep here. I simply must be. To revel in being a creation, dearly loved by Jesus, sacrificed for, graced unconditionally.

I am not a product.

I do not need to market me to prove my worth to others.

I am too valuable to be consumed.

I wonder how much my mindset about everything is tainted by a consumeristic mindset. I wonder if I view others as things to be had instead of people to be loved. I wonder why I've lacked in grace for myself when I didn't perform up to standards.

What if I'm just loved? Right now. Right here. For no other reason than I am a creation who breathes, laughs, weeps, rejoices, hollers, loves?

It may take me a while, but I'm liking the sound of these words: I don't have to justify the space I take up on earth any more.

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Mary DeMuth is an author and speaker. Her most recent published boo, Thin Places, is a spiritual memoir where Mary reflects on the "thin places" of her life where she was acutely ware of God's presence.  You can find discover more about Mary and her desire to help others turn their trials to triumph at her web-site Mary Demuth .