Please Take a Compliment

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Knock. Knock.

Anybody there? I'm back!

It's been awhile since I wrote. (Yikes! July 29?  That was two seasons ago -- literally!)

I was deep in to the Book of Esther, studying, writing and teaching for the Women's Bible study at our church, looking at the Evidence of God's Providence -- not only throughout the story, but in our own lives. I'm sure I'll share more thoughts with you in the weeks to come. I learned a lot!

And I was busy with our Women's Christmas Tea.  Can I just say this? Working with the women at my church and ministering together is such an amazing experience. I cherish how God works in and through His people, as we share our gifts and serve Him.

I will say, though, I've had a lot of ideas bouncing around in this ole' noggin, waiting to get out.  I hope to access them out of my mental hard drive and boot them up, soon!

But for starters, I've been thinking about compliments.  Recently, my friend Amanda spoke on 'insecurities,' pointing out that, for many of us, it's hard to receive a compliment.  We minimize it, dismiss it, rationalize it, or even try and deny it. Yep. I'm guilty of this. Are you?

In response to listening to her speak, by friend Becca told me a story. (You can read more about her and her passion for health HERE).  At day, acknowledging the hesitation of humans to receive a compliment, she decided to do something different.  She printed off a pack of posters, and put them in coffee shops and spots around town.

She offered people a chance to -- Please Take a Compliment.

They had a choice.  No strings attached.  No verbal responses required.  They could just take a compliment by ripping off a little piece of paper on the poster, each offering a different compliment.

You are brave.  You are a great listener.  You made my day. I lover your persistence. You make me happy.  You are lovely. I like your dress. You have great taste.  I appreciate you. Your hair looks nice.

And then, awhile later, she went back to check out the posters, and you know what?  People had taken a compliment.  We don't know what they did with it. Maybe they walked around that day, smiling silently, cherishing a truth about them selves.  Or, maybe they passed it on.

Either way, people took a compliment.

I wonder.  Were they in need of a compliment?  Were they bone dry?  Had it been awhile since anyone noticed them?  Were they feeling down in the dumps that day?  Were they lonely?  Sad?  Feeling ordinary and not special?  Maybe it was easier for them to take it anonymously?  Easier to take one if they didn't feel compelled to explain it?

I don't know, but it has me thinking -- we need each other.  God gives us each other.

So, let's give and receive compliments -- freely.  Let's encourage one another, honestly, earnestly, truthfully, openly, frequently, not to flatter, but to build up and breath life in to.  Let's look for opportunities from the Lord AND let's also receive His gifts.  Let's work on receiving a compliment from someone, without feeling guarded, or insecure or weird.  Maybe, just maybe, the Lord is using someone to encourage our hearts today, if we would only allow Him to.  And maybe He's using us to do the same.

So, please take a compliment.  I may not know you, but I know Who does, and I think that you are an amazingly beautiful, valued creation, loved by the Father and made for a purpose!

Take that -- and believe it.  It's true!  (And then pass it along, too)!

Thank You Lord, for Unexpected Opportunities to Love

I saw disappointment flow from her heart in the form of tears as she entered our bedroom in her jammies.

“Mom? I don’t feel very well and today is our Christmas party at school and I don’t want to miss it!” my middle daughter sobbed, as I wrapped my hands around her red little cheeks, and drew her close for a hug.

“Oh, honey. I’m so sorry. It is so miserable to be sick. I feel so sad for you,” I said trying to comfort her, as I tucked her under the covers of our bed.

I checked her temperature –  101.2 degrees.  That, in combination with a sore throat, a stomach ache, a headache and that I was diagnosed with strep throat on Monday – confirmed her diagnosis, in my mind.

Sure enough – we went to the doctor and the rapid strep test was, well, rapidly positive.

Ugh. Our home is being attacked by the streptococcus bacteria. 2 down, I hope not 5 to go.

I’ve been lamenting to the Lord over the past few days, when I was flat on my back on the couch, lacking Christmas joy and fretting over things to be done … “I don’t get it, Lord, five (then 4) days before Christmas. So much to do, surely you know, Lord!”

No  immediate answers.  I felt too sick to argue with the Creator of the Universe, so I relinquished control and tried to trust that He would show me why or give me the strength to do what I would NEED to do.

Then, my dear daughter got sick.  As I prayed with the children on the way to school (and to the doctor) this morning, I found myself unexpectedly saying – “ I don’t know Lord why we are getting sick, but thank you for giving us opportunities to love each other.”

There was my answer, and that’s the truth that I am snuggling in to this morning as I snuggle in next to my daughter. Despite the fact that it is hard to understand completely why difficult times come in to our lives, at inopportune times (like Christmas) – or any time – they ARE opportunities for us to love each other.

So, we are just hanging out, watching home renovation shows (she is the artistic one who loves these type of shows) and getting reading to play our favorite Webkinz game Eager Beaver’s Adventure Park.

“Well, Mom, at least we get to spend time together,” she said to me.

“Yes, we do dear, and I’m so thankful for that.”

It may not be the Christmas plans she and I wanted but we are taking advantage of an opportunity to love each other. Isn’t that what we should be doing at Christmas, anyway?

Giving a Present of Presence

Would you agree?  There are just some people that their presence in a room can make a difference?  There is something about them -- their integrity, the way that they engage with others, the way they make others feel special.

They are open to relationship.

They are willing to be real.

They are safe.

They draw you out of yourself and help you to see your value.

They are honest.

They love you for who you are.  

They are like Jesus.

They are “present people,” and they are a gift.

In a season where lists of “things to do and presents to buy” for others roll through my head like semi-trucks rolling down a highway, I’ve been thinking about “presents” vs “presence.”

God works through our having a very present presence in people’s lives.  We can comfort others, encourage others, bring joy to others, and help others to see their value. Sometimes it’s just being in the room that can make all the difference, other times, it’s taking intentional time. It can happen when we are physically present and it can happen when we are emotionally present through a hand written note, a sympathetic ear at the other end of a telephone, through an e-mail or through a smile. 

I love people but I can get distracted with the demands of the season (or of life) and I forget that the most important thing I can do is not give a present (although I do enjoy that) but give more of myself.  I’m trying not to get too caught up in the details of the day, and make sure that I am following God’s lead on whom He wants me to check in with, spend time with and love on, or maybe even give a gift to.

Giving a present of our presence -- a very present presence. Blessing one person at a time, as the Lord leads.  Blessing the person He places in front of us, not just by being there, but being emotionally engaged -- having our hearts open to the heart of another. Loving one another as the Lord loves us. I’m working on it and enjoying it.  How about you?

What do you think? Can we tend to substitute presents for presence?  Why?  Is the risk greater in being present?  Are we fearful of rejection in the process?

Valued by God

Today’s post is dedicated to all the women that I know (and don’t know) who feel “less than.” For all of you who have been told that you do not matter, that you are not as important, that you have no to little value or that what you do is a waste of time, I have good news for you. It is a lie. You are valued and you are loved.

Hanging on the cross, Jesus breathed His last breath – by choice, out of love – for you and for me. The sky darkened like a bruise and the veil of the temple tore in two. Jesus did what needed to be done so that all who believe in Him could enter the presence of God. There was no other way. Jesus made the way. He is the only way.

After we read of his dying in the book of Mark, then God chose to share this detail. “Some women were watching from a distance … these women had followed Him and cared for His needs … many other women who had come up with Him were also there” (Mark 15:40-41).

Some women. These women. Many women. Why does God point out the women here? Why does He, for just a moment at this time of sadness and darkness, bring our attention on them? Why does He mention them, some by name and others in general? I wish I knew for sure, but I don’t. However, I find it interesting and it does encourage me in this -- God cares about women, and sees and believes that women are important, too.

These women followed Him and cared for His needs. They followed Him, even in to hardest of times. They made their way through crowds of people who were shouting and jeering for Jesus to die. They took risks to love their Savior. They were steadfast and loyal. God noticed that. They cared for His needs and they loved Him in the days when He ministered with healing and truth. In those days, women were not looked upon as equals in the culture – but God saw them as such, and in this instant, at the darkest time of history, He mentions women.

Dear reader, you may feel unseen by others, but you are clearly seen by God. He sees all. You may feel worthless but that is not true. You have great value in the heart of God. You may feel that you are not important, just part of the background of life and unnoticed, but you are not. You are in the foreground of God’s plan and of His purposes. You may feel that all that you do for Him is unimportant and doesn’t matter, but it is important and it matters -- alot.

Do not give up in following Jesus. Follow Him wherever He goes, even in to the darkest of times. Sometimes, it requires a risk to love Him. Others may be shouting (or whispering) around you to doubt who He is; remain steadfast and loyal to Him. Care for His precious name by serving in His name, sharing the power of His name, and loving Him by pursuing the truth and loving others boldly and well. Keep your eyes focused on Him, even when you are crowded in by the details and hurts of life.

And remember, wherever you are, God is with you. He loves you. He notices you. He honors your dignity as a woman. You are not less in His eyes – you are lovely.

Living in the Light and Loving Well

It seems as if I am having a run on burnt out light bulbs around my house. In my kitchen alone I have 4 out. I keep intending to go down to the basement and hunt for new light bulbs, but I get distracted and don’t. One by one, the light bulbs burn out, and my kitchen is getting darker and darker. Even the light in my bathroom is burnt out, and we are (strangely) showering in the dark. We need some light around here. I need to change those light bulbs so that we can see what we are doing, at least more clearly!

As I thought about needing to increase the light around our house, I thought about living in the light in life. We need to live in the light, in order to see what is going on around us and in us. We need to live in the light of God’s love, Jesus, so that we can, in turn, love well.

“Loving well” – what does it mean? How do we do it? I am challenged by the whole concept. It is complicated. It requires a great amount of strength and a great amount of patient perseverance. It requires the grace of God. It requires wisdom and a willingness to live in the Light. It requires work.

How to “love well” in difficult times is on my mind right now. When do we withhold an answer and when do we speak? When do we turn the other cheek and when do we share the truth? When do we address an issue and when do we not throw pearls before swine (Matthew 7:6)? How do we live fully in the light, when there is so much darkness around?

Ephesians 5:8-15 says “Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord. Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them ... everything exposed by the light becomes visible, for it is light that makes everything visible. Be very careful, then, how you live – not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.”

Whew. That’s a lot, but it encourages me and strengthens me. To live and love well I need to remember that I am a child of the light. Everything is exposed by the light of God’s truth. We need to spend time with the Lord to know the truth, and then to have the wisdom and strength to expose the truth. We are to be careful and wise. These are desperate times. People can be deep in denial about themselves or their situations out of fear, or they are choosing to walk in their own way, away from God. The truth is not revered. In contrast, it is ignored. However, to live in the truth – in the light – is to “love well" and God calls us to love.

Dear reader, perhaps you are at a point today when you need to step out in to the light and live in the truth about yourself and your life. Maybe you need to confess and repent. Maybe you need to confront someone else. Maybe you need to stand up for yourself, find your voice, and speak difficult words, in love. Seek the Lord your God with all of your heart, mind and soul and ask Him what His will is for you. It can be very difficult. I would rather not do the challenging work (I can tend to put it off, like changing light bulbs, but even worse), but I also know that it is well worth it. Trust the Lord. He will give you the strength that you need for today to do what He has you to do, in the light of His love.