It's Just One of Those Days ...

It was a spelling word on my 4^th grader’s list last week.

It’s the word of the day for me.

Immeasurably

Let me be open and honest with you, I am immeasurably overwhelmed today.

My head is spinning, my mind is whirling, and even my legs feel like they’re twitching. I feel like this little sand crab (whose deep in the whole in the picture), digging and digging, throwing out sand frantically on to the shore, trying to get done what I need to get done.

I don't think I drank too much coffee, although do have some coursing through my veins.

Rather -- It’s just one of those days. 

I dropped the kids at school and rushed home to finish a writing project that I am working on, fine tune the study I am teaching on Wednesday morning and then off to wash dishes for hot lunch, followed by a 1:00 PM meeting, picking up the kids, dinner, another meeting at 6:00 PM … yada, yada. I won’t bore you with the details. I’m sure you have your own crazy day.

The problem is, It’s not just the things “to-do” that are overwhelming me, it’s the things “to-think-about”  that are bombarding my brain. Simply said – UGH.

And then I remembered what a friend told me lately, “God’s resources are immeasurable, Andrea.”

And so I went to the Lord with my immeasurable overwhelmedness (not a word, I know, but it seems to fit the feeling).

I called out to the Lord in the car – out loud.  Something about saying it and hearing it reverberate around the car that makes it seem more “real” to me. I don’t know.  It’s silly, I suppose, but it works for me.

Lord, I desire to love you and to serve you. I want to live for you, but I’m feeling very overwhelmed and in need of many things.

I need more grace, Lord.

I need more time, Lord. Could you multiply my time, please?

I need more patience.

I need more peace.

I need more wisdom.

I need more strength.

And on and on I went, calling out the One Who knows all that is going on and is willing and able to give me just what I need. He is the One “who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.” (Ephesians 3:20).

I’m not sure how the Lord is going to meet all my needs today, but I trust that He will, in His timing and in His way.

 I suppose for a start, He gave me time to write this and to remember Who He is. I’m encouraged.  I hope, in some way, it has encouraged you, too.

Taking the Test, Doing My Best and Trusting Him for the Rest

This past Thursday night I spoke to a great group of gals at my children’s school.  The purpose of the, a “Mom’s Night In,” was to bring the women together for fun, fellowship and encouragement.

We enjoyed yummy food, a time to get know each other through a silly icebreaker, and competitive (or not so competitive) ugly slipper contest.  A skit (or rather, a sketch, if you may know the difference – I didn’t)about how overwhelmed and stretched we can be as mom’s preceded my talk, and after I spoke,  we ended the evening with tons of fun “give-aways”, table favors to take home. Mixed in it all was shared  a few good laughs and even some tears. 

I spoke on “Abiding in Jesus” from John 15, sharing about the vine, the branches, the fruit, things that we tend to abide in -- false vines --  and Who we really need to abide in -- Jesus. Truth is,  although I studied the passage and wrote the talk, I needed to listen to my own words.

I’m glad that I did. 

The day started out with a lot of attack.  Weird things, one right after another throughout the day – some personal and some practical.  I’m still shaking my head over a few of them, and although I’d rather not get in to the details in this venue, trust me, there were some odd, unexpected twists in the landscape of my day.

I’ve heard it said that we take the test after we study.  This was undeniably the case this time.  But all day long, I just kept on taking the test, filling in the dots with the truths that I knew, in answer to the circumstances and temptations that arose.  I was bound and determined to practice what I preached.  I was going to stay continually connected to the Source of my strength, Jesus, no matter what. 

And again, I’m glad that I did.

It was a great joy to share with these special women. I loved it. I love them.  I know that God loves them even more. 

And as I placed my head on my pillow that night, I thought to myself, “I’m not sure what grade I got (actually, thankful that God doesn’t grade – I’m sure I’d either be filled with pride or discouragement, depending on where it landed on His scale) but I know that I took the test, did my best and trusted in His grace for the rest.”

Amen.

Armed with Strength

“Here, Mom, I wrote you a poem,” my youngest daughter said to me as she slipped me a 3 x 5 card with her hand writing on it. And then she proceeded to recite it to me.

I am thankful for my mom.

She is very, very strong.

She can lift a 5 pound weight.

She is very, very strong.

Lately, I find myself often repeating her words in my head, with her little inflections and lisp; they encourage me and make me smile. They remind me of God's strength in me.

Truth is, I can lift more than five pounds of weight, but it is the weight of the world (or the weight of the week) that I struggle with, although I’m not sure why I even find myself trying to pick it up.

Strength. Perseverance. Wisdom. I need it, and I suspect you need it, too.

Thankfully, God’s giving of strength and any other thing we need isn’t dependent on our ability.  It’s dependent on His grace.

My arms may or may not be strong. Fortunately, my heart and soul are stronger. The irony is that when we are weak, then we are strong. For “It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect” (Psalm 18:32).

This is for you, too, dear reader.  We have all we need in life and our service for Him, through Him.

May I pray for you?

Dear Lord, Thank you for loving us and for providing for us everything we need. Thank you for your strength, when we are weak. Thank you for your wisdom when we are confused. Thank you for helping us to persevere when we are weary. Thank you for being our Hope. Help us to reach out to you and not try to do the work that you have called us to do in our own ability. Help us to trust you. In Jesus precious name I pray. Amen.

Working on NOT Digging and Hiding

I found myself in the garage of my mind today, rummaging around through bins and bushels for a pick and a shovel, plotting out where I was going to dig and bury something. Doubt and frustration stood nearby, breathing down my neck, ready to aid me in the earth moving expedition. Maybe you find yourself with tools in hand, scoping out a space, too -- a space to bury your God given abilities and gifts. 

That’s what the man who received one talent in Matthew 25 decided to do. He hid his talent in the ground – the talent that the Master gave him. When asked why, he responded with, “Master, I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed, so I was afraid ....”

The talent in this story was a unit of weight (about 75 pounds) but it also can indicate an ability or gift that God gives us.  Gifts (not like presents that we unwrap or hold in our hand) but gifts like service, teaching, mercy, and administration – the talents that He gives us to do His work for Him.

The man didn’t care for His talent. He didn’t use it. He didn’t even know Who the Master was.  He was afraid, and so he hid it.

The problem is similar for me sometimes and I reach for the hole digging tools.  I find myself doubting whether God really gave me a gift and  I start to fear. I fear failure. I fear pride. I fear success. I fear criticism. I fear looking silly or dumb. I fear the unknown. I fear not knowing the details of how I’m going to do it, and sadly, I forget Who my Master is.

The evil one tries to whisper in my ear (or whap me over the head) with words like, “You really don’t have anything to offer. You should just stop doing what you are doing.  Really – it’s just a waste of time.” 

But here’s the truth – when God gives us the ability or the gift,  He is in it with us.  He does not give us the gift and then move along, abandoning us to do the work without His power and love. All things are possible with Him.  He equips us with everything good for doing His will.

I’ve exited the garage now, and left the tools behind. No more digging and hiding for me. I’m going to trust the Father with what He chooses to give me to help me do the work He calls me to do. I’m not going to give up. I’m not going to give in to the lies of the evil one.  I’m going to make sure that I spend time with the Lord, so that I know Him, and therefore, can boldly and wisely use my gift – not burry it!

How about you?  Like my littlest daughter, when she learned how to ride her bike yelling at the top of her lungs, “I was born to do this!” (click here for the story) I am finding confidence in God with the gifts that He gives me to love Him and encourage and strengthen others to love Him, as well.

Ever Feel Like You're Just Too Much?

I stood waiting at the airport ticket counter, a bulging purse slung over one shoulder, a stuffed briefcase over the other and a very heavy suitcase in tow. I knew that upon departing for my trip, my suitcase was precariously close to 48 pounds. Now on the return trip, I feared that I mis-packed and was going to tip over the 50 pound limit. Oddly, I considered the notion that if I could some how gain two pounds of body weight on a weekend getaway, maybe my suitcase could, too.

I felt the presence of the long line of people behind me, while the thought flashed through my mind, like a blinking neon sign – “what will I do if I have too much?”

“What if I place my suitcase on the scale and the digital indicator reads more than 50 pounds? What am I going to do? Pay the over price? No. That’s not sensible. Take something out? What will I remove? A heavy jean skirt? No. I am wearing that right now. My hair straightener ? No, probably won’t let me through security with that. A couple pairs of shoes? Now, where would I put those? My briefcase is already overflowing.”

Silly -- so, so silly. Finally, after an extended wait, I got called up to the counter – the counter that did not even have a scale. The attendant was gracious as he lifted my suitcase with a grunt, and placed it on the conveyor belt. He checked my bag through, gave me my ticket and I was on my way. All that wasted worry.

I don’t know about you, but sometimes similarly, I find myself lugging around the notion that I am too much -- too much for God. Too many hurts. Too much worry. Too complicated. Too many mistakes. Too prone to wandering. Too pathetic. Too serious. Too superficial. Too many questions. Too much trouble. From one extreme to another – just too much “stuff.” Memories and experiences, by my own doing and the doing of others, are crammed in to my heart, and I feel heavy and burdened.

Truth is, for me and for you sweet reader, we are not too much. We can’t have too many mistakes or hurts that stand in the way of our being accepted and loved by the Lord. He does not look at us and say, “Hmmm. We have a problem here. You are just too much. Can you unload something?”

Instead, He knows every little detail, and He is not interested in weighing it against us. He lifts up our hearts and tends to them. He doesn’t ask us to unpack them alone. He helps us. He knows the intimate and the practical parts of us. We can’t be too much for Him. He doesn’t ask us to pay for more than we think we can handle. He took care of the price. There is no weight limit to God. He has all the strength in the world to handle whatever we have.

Okay, I’m taking my eyes off of myself and fixing them on the my sweet Jesus. And as I do so, I think I can faintly hear His voice calling to me (and to you, too!) -- “Oh, dear child, I love you. Do you not know that I know exactly what is in your heart? I am here to lift your burden. It cannot be too heavy. I am not limited by anything. You are precious and honored in My sight. Let me love you. Let me carry you. Stop fighting. I am abounding in compassion. Fear not. I have summoned you by name; you are Mine.”

The Garden of Gethsemane

The “Last Supper” was over. The disciples did not understand it as the “Last Supper,” but Jesus knew. Nothing is a surprise to Him. Not even this evening. What happened in the hours that lied before Him was part of God’s plan right from the beginning. Jesus was on a mission to rescue the people that He loved.

As the disciples (minus Judas) walked along the dusty road in the cool of the night, their feet, recently washed by the Servant, became coated again with dirt. And as they travelled, Jesus spoke to His disciples about many truths – truths like Jesus being the only way to the Father and about abiding in Jesus, like branches on a vine, and – oh, so much more. (See John 14 – 17). He comforted them with the words, “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in Me” (John 14:1). And Jesus prayed. He prayed for the disciples. He prayed for Himself. And He prayed for you and for me. Remarkable.

Shortly after they set out, they arrived at the gate of the Garden of Gethsemane, at the base of the Mount of Olives. The garden was a favorite place of refuge for Jesus. Again, Jesus went in to spend time with His Father in Heaven. This time, though, He would intensely begin the journey of coming face-to-face with the suffering that He would endure on the cross.

The biblical account of what transpired in the Garden of Gethsemane (Matthew 26:36-46; Mark 14:32-41; Luke 22:39-46) is intense. My heart is heavy as I imagine (if that is even possible) what my Savior had to endure for me and for all. I am humbled by His willingness to submit to the difficult will of God. I am amazed by His love. And I am strengthened by His example of how I can live, being obedient to the Father in the daily struggles of life. Jesus had to carry the weight of all the sin of the world. God does not ask us to do that, but He may ask us to carry something.

Dear reader, it is hard to know and follow the will of God, isn’t it? It’s scary and confusing, at times. It is difficult to do -- well, actually, it is impossible without the grace of God.

Believe that God is Who He says He is. He is loving, kind, faithful and just. Pray for His will to be done, and pray that He will give you the grace to be obedient to whatever He may be asking you to do. Trust that His way is best, even when it seems very, very hard. Stand firm. Be strong and courageous. Walk humbly.

Turn to Him and call out to Him, “Abba! Father! PaPa! Daddy!” (just like Jesus did – Mark 14:36) and believe that His will is good and perfect, and that He loves you very much, with an unfailing love. Jesus knew that, and we can know that, too.

The Garden of Gethsemane is a difficult place to enter with Jesus, for here we see His pain, unlike we’ve seen it before. I think that we often would much rather stand outside of the gate. Some may not care to enter. Others may be too frightened to face what happened there. And even others fear their own guilt and shame. But as we are willing to step in to the garden, trusting the Lord to hold our hand and show us what He desires for us to see about Himself, we can begin to understand the depth of His sorrow and sacrifice as He faced all the brokenness and sin of the world. Here we are more amazed at the breadth of His love. And here He grows in us an incredible joy, lush in beauty and color, in this season of celebration. It is here, in the garden of Jesus’ willingness, sacrifice and pain where our faith is strengthened and our hope enlarged. Remarkable, indeed.

(If you would like to listen to more about Jesus and His coming face-to-face with His own suffering in the Garden of Gethsemane, click here, and then click on the link for February 10, 2010 - Gethsemane: Mark 14:32-42 . The above is just a sample of what I shared this winter at our Women’s Bible Study. You will also find more links to listen to the other lessons I taught in the series that I titled, “Remarkable Moments with the Savior,” when we stepped into the stories of Jesus and the people that He came face-to-face with – people like you and me who were hurting, hungry, hopeless, fearful, loving, critical and more).

Strength Training

I ducked my head under the bar bell, brought my aching shoulders up under it, and grasped the bar firmly with both hands. The bar, with heavy weights (at least 1000 pounds, I am certain) stretched out past my shoulders, with the ends resting in the supports.

“Are you sure I can lift all of this?” I said to my trainer, Dave.

“I know you can” He replied. “I’ll be right here behind you, watching and ready if you need me. Go ahead. You can do it.”

I straightened my legs, lifted the bar out of the supports and stepped backward. Up and down, I squatted with the heavy bar balanced on my shoulders, the weight bearing down on my whole body. I knew I was not alone. I could not see Dave, but I was confident that he was there, ready to make an adjustment to the bar if I was getting off balance, or reminding me of the proper body position when I faltered a bit.

1 … 5 … 8. Done. I stepped forward and placed the bar back in its resting place. Two more rounds of that, and although exhausted, I knew that it was what it would take for me to get stronger.

Sometimes, dear readers, it feels like we have the weight of the world on our shoulders. Our hearts are heavy and it can even be hard for our bodies to move. Trials of all sorts come in to our lives and we are certain that we will not be able to handle them -- carry them. Heartache. Loss. Betrayal. Loneliness. Illness. Ministries. Callings. Waiting.

We may call out, “Are you sure I can lift this one?” to the Lord. Have you been there? I certainly have been -- am. Seems like, feels like, it is just way too much to bear.

But, and I say this with an immense measure of hope and faith, God is present. You may not be able to see Him, but He is right there. He has you covered. He is there to make adjustments, show you what to do, help you when you need help, and in the spiritual realm, He is actually helping you carry the burden.

These things He does give us to carry – as overwhelming as they are -- for a purpose. They are to make us stronger, to make us more like Jesus and to bring Him glory. It hurts, but He is present, coaching , helping and watching. As hard as it is, we know that it must be this way.

My arms are sore today, but I am chuckling as I think of Proverbs 31:17, “She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.” OK, Lord, I get it. I don’t like lifting weights, and I don’t like bearing trials, but I know it makes me strong for my work for You, and that makes it worth it. Thank you for loving me so much.

"The Man in the Arena"

I am writing this from one of my favorite places on earth, where I am staying with my dear friend and her family - Nashville, Tennessee. They are all special to me, and this is a special place to me as much of my growth and God's grace have mingled together in this city.

Yesterday, I was heading out the door to share part of my story in a "new"setting and I was a bit nervous (ok, alot nervous, but it is good to be so sometimes. It keeps me humble.) My friends' 13 year old son, Andrew, was teasing me.

"Don't let the critics get you down!" he mused, as I was getting in to the car to leave.

"Thanks, alot, Andrew, for the encouragement" I teased back, but feeling the lump in my throat grow exponentially.

Then his mother asked him to recite to me a part of a speech that he had memorized months earlier. I thought it may encourage some of my readers. It did me. It is a quote from Theodore Roosevelt, given in a speech in 1910, in Paris.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."

Dear reader, do you find yourself feeling as if you have stepped in to an arena, or are being called to do so? Maybe it's the arena of trial and suffering that you are walking valiantly in, trusting God verses cowering in fear. Maybe you are soon to be entering an arena that the Lord has called you to step in to - a job, a ministry, a calling, an opportunity to share your story.

The arena can be a vulnerable place, a dirty place where our faces may feel as if they are marred with dust and sweat and tears, an intense place. It is here, often in this place where our character grows, our integrity is defined, our faith is strengthened and the Lord seen clearer.

The arena is a place where we enter with courage, trust in the Lord's provision and fight with great tenacity. It is a place that we can live a very full life regardless of whether we experience victory or defeat. It is a battle well worth it.

Living in the Light and Loving Well

It seems as if I am having a run on burnt out light bulbs around my house. In my kitchen alone I have 4 out. I keep intending to go down to the basement and hunt for new light bulbs, but I get distracted and don’t. One by one, the light bulbs burn out, and my kitchen is getting darker and darker. Even the light in my bathroom is burnt out, and we are (strangely) showering in the dark. We need some light around here. I need to change those light bulbs so that we can see what we are doing, at least more clearly!

As I thought about needing to increase the light around our house, I thought about living in the light in life. We need to live in the light, in order to see what is going on around us and in us. We need to live in the light of God’s love, Jesus, so that we can, in turn, love well.

“Loving well” – what does it mean? How do we do it? I am challenged by the whole concept. It is complicated. It requires a great amount of strength and a great amount of patient perseverance. It requires the grace of God. It requires wisdom and a willingness to live in the Light. It requires work.

How to “love well” in difficult times is on my mind right now. When do we withhold an answer and when do we speak? When do we turn the other cheek and when do we share the truth? When do we address an issue and when do we not throw pearls before swine (Matthew 7:6)? How do we live fully in the light, when there is so much darkness around?

Ephesians 5:8-15 says “Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord. Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them ... everything exposed by the light becomes visible, for it is light that makes everything visible. Be very careful, then, how you live – not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.”

Whew. That’s a lot, but it encourages me and strengthens me. To live and love well I need to remember that I am a child of the light. Everything is exposed by the light of God’s truth. We need to spend time with the Lord to know the truth, and then to have the wisdom and strength to expose the truth. We are to be careful and wise. These are desperate times. People can be deep in denial about themselves or their situations out of fear, or they are choosing to walk in their own way, away from God. The truth is not revered. In contrast, it is ignored. However, to live in the truth – in the light – is to “love well" and God calls us to love.

Dear reader, perhaps you are at a point today when you need to step out in to the light and live in the truth about yourself and your life. Maybe you need to confess and repent. Maybe you need to confront someone else. Maybe you need to stand up for yourself, find your voice, and speak difficult words, in love. Seek the Lord your God with all of your heart, mind and soul and ask Him what His will is for you. It can be very difficult. I would rather not do the challenging work (I can tend to put it off, like changing light bulbs, but even worse), but I also know that it is well worth it. Trust the Lord. He will give you the strength that you need for today to do what He has you to do, in the light of His love.

Fully Equipped with the Armor of God

Simply put, we do not have what it takes, only God does. Whether it is as a spouse, a parent, a sibling, a friend, or a worker we can not fight the battle against sin without God's equipping power. He gives the orders, we suit up and stand firm in to the battle, by faith. There are battles to fight every day -- big battles. Let's face it, every battle against the heinousness of sin is big.

Ephesians 6:10-17 says, "Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, which to you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God."

The armor of God is not something that we can pick up at a department store or a convenience store. It will not be found in a magazine, a self-help book, or through talking to other people. It is not found inside of us by our own intelligence, ability, power. The armor belongs to God and He is the One who provides it for us to fight the battle.When you wake in the morning and get dressed, also dress yourself with this most precious and impenetrable armor. When you are in the midst of a trial, do not forget it. There are 4 things to put on, and 2 things to pick-up.

Put on the:
Belt of Truth -- God's truth
Breastplate of Righteousness - being right with God and pursuing holiness
Shoes of the Gospel of Peace -- feet made strong with the knowledge and understanding of the Gospel
Helmet of Salvation -- the protective covering of the security of who we are in Jesus and what He has done for us

Pick-up the:
Shield of Faith -- extinguishes the arrows of the evil one
Sword of the Spirit -- depending on God through his Word and prayer for the strength that is needed

Each day, when you are faced with a battle against evil and sin, remember that it is a spiritual battle, only to be fought with spiritual weapons. Donn the armor, step out and stand firm. Put on the full armor; don't leave any parts off, leaving you vulnerable and ill-equipped for the battle. Trust God to fully equip you with His armor for the battle that He asks you to stand firm in. Dear soldier of the Lord, keep up the good fight, stand firm and be strong in the Lord.

Face to Face with Grace

I knew that it was time. God made it evident. I dreaded coming face to face with realities that were the result of something I had not asked for; something I had been hurt deeply by.

I called out to the Lord, asking Him for His strength and trusting that He would go before me. He did, as always. I stepped in to the situatin realizing that what I was coming face to face with in my pain was grace, God's grace. I knew, instantly, that as I moved forward in faith and obeyed His call for me to face this place of pain, that He was ready to meet me there and hold my hand and my heart. He did not let go.

2 Corinthians 12:9 says, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." His grace is sufficient. As I dealt with facts that were hard for me, I realized that I was experiencing the power of the living God in my life; His perfect power. Only by His grace could I begin to work through the pain, and believe that He had something for me in it.

In our weakness, God gives us His strength. It can be scary to face things that are hard. When we realize the time is at hand, we can call out to Him, and trust that He will answer.

Psalm 138:3 says, "When I called, you answered me; you made me bold and stouthearted." To be bold is to be fearless and daring. To be steadfast is to be firm, steady, unfaltering, unwavering and unshakable. Other translations of the Bible say that when we call to God he makes our life large with strength. He energizes us. He gives us the strength that we need, making us great with strength in our soul. We can and will be bold and stouthearted when we walk with God.

Dear reader, perhaps God is calling you to face hard times from your past or your present. It can be overwhelming and filled with uncertainty. Call out to God. Ask Him when and in which way you should walk, and trust that as you do, in obedience to Him, He will make you "bold and stouthearted." He will not fail you. As you face the past and the present, dependent on Him, you will come face to face with His grace, and you will see that His strength is made perfect in your weakness. It is a powerful experience to be filled with the One true God.

Be Strong in the Lord

I surprised myself the other day! I went to my boot camp, begrudgingly. It was testing day, and I do not like testing day. It is enough for me to get there, let alone to have to be tested!

We had three different skills to do. They were the same ones that we did last time. This time we would see if we improved. I grumbled under my breath, "I suppose I'll do worse this time." (I know, being pessimistic isn't healthy, but we all have our crabby days.) I got down in to the modified push-up position. The test was to do as many push-ups as one can until "fail," in other words, your muscles are shivering and shaking, and you can not push your body up off of the ground one more time. So, I went at it. Thirty. Forty. Fifty. Fifty-five. Fifty-seven. (I was determined to hit a round number). Sixty -- and that was it. Not only could I not get up, I couldn't even roll over. However, I was shocked. I did 30 more than I did one month ago!

I couldn't believe that I had made that much progress. Was I really getting stronger? Was all that work I was doing really more than misery and pain? I had been going, faithfully, to the boot camp three times a week for the past month, but each time I felt worn out. I was working on modifying my diet, as well, but I just couldn't believe it!

I think it is a parallel to our gaining strength in the Lord. There are times when we are going through some serious "resistance training." Not only are we having to work against alot of pain or sadness or suffering, but we are feeling like we want to resist having to do it. In the process, though, we learn that staying committed to the Lord is the key to our growing stronger in Him. We develop perseverance over time (unfortunately, it's the only way that perseverance can be developed) and this adds to our strength. We learn more about what to take in to our minds (the truth) and what to fight to leave out (the lies). We develop a focused faith that takes one day at a time.

1 Peter 5:10 says, "And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast."

Strong, firm and steadfast. That is what I was feeling, physically after realizing that I had become stronger by being committed to coming to the workouts, eating well and working hard. I didn't give up, even though I wanted to, sometimes. Spiritually, it may be a bit different, but God gives us opportunities to grow stronger in Him as we stay committed to Him, watch what we take in to our minds and hearts and pursue a life of obedience to Him. Don't give up. It's not always easy to do the right thing, but blessings do come along the path.

Be strong in the Lord, dear reader. God uses our circumstances to strengthen us for the calling that He has for our lives. Trust in Him. Obey Him. Seek Him. You will grow stronger and stronger, and you may even surprise yourself one day.

He Can Move the Mountains

The sky started out blue in the early morning hours, with patchy clouds sewn across the horizon. But before long, thick dark bands of gray marched in from the west. I could almost see the layers upon layers of clouds, like rows of enemy soldiers marching towards a battle front.

The wind picked up and then I heard it, faintly at first, rolling in from the distance. Quite quickly, the irregular thunderous drum roll increased in intensity and frequency. The cracking and booming grew, rolling across the landscape, bellowing from the clouds; the thunder brought with it the rain, slowly at first and then rapidly pelting the ground like machine gun fire. The storm had arrived just as I rounded the turn on to my street and home.

As a child, much like my own children, I was afraid of thunder. There was something hollow and deep and scary about it. As years went by, I convinced myself that it was "angels bowling" or "God moving furniture," but I was never fully satisfied.

Today, however, the cracking and the booming and the rolling sounded more like mountains moving. There are certainly a few mountains in my life that I could use moved. I had recently been thinking about the mountains that seemed to be between me and what I thought looked like a sweeter, gentler more peaceable time. The way over them looked too daunting. The way around too laborious. Oh, how I wish they could just be moved! (And I had asked God a time or twenty for just that thing).

But today I thought, "What if they are moving?" Maybe amidst all the noise and commotion that I witness from time to time in the circumstances of my life, God is moving the mountains that are before me out of the way. Maybe, just maybe, what I thought was not moving, really was, but it just was being done differently that I thought. (Imagine that!) God wasn't making the mountains disappear, but He was doing something.

Psalm 46:1-3 says, "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging."

Today, when I heard the thunder, I also heard the gentle voice of God in it saying, "Does that thunder sound like mountains moving to you? Well, be assured, I am ever-present in your storms. The sounds you may be afraid of are not for you to fear. It is Me doing my work for you. Remember that when you fear the thunderous circumstances in your life, it is Me moving out of the way that which separates Me from you and you from you. I am moving that mountain, dear daughter. Trust Me."

When I feel as if all is crumbling apart and not going as I had hoped, I will chose to remember that perhaps what appears to be things falling apart, may actually be God moving the mountain. When my dreams and desires seem to be giving way, maybe God is placing them somewhere else to be better used for Him. Either way, no matter what, I know that on my walk with the Lord when the storms come, He is my refuge and my strength from the rains and from the winds, and I need not fear.

God Lifts Us Out and Sets Us Free

It is raining today. A chilling kind of rain, that you can almost feel seep in to every pore of your body and settle there, leaving you wanting for warmth, all day.

As I walked through my back yard today with the dog, I noted a low spot. The grass reaches out towards a path that wanders through the woods, but at the opening of the path, the ground dips down. When it rains, water almost always pools there.

There was something about it that reminded me of my own heart. It has a low lying spot, too, where the tears of my sorrow seem to all flow and pool. When the rainy days of life stir up my tears, they seem to all run in to this place of grief; grief from the past and grief from the present, mixed together, they accumulate.


The spot in my yard can get pretty sloppy, slippery and slimy. The water dries up eventually, but for awhile, it stagnates, only slowly seeping in to the ground or evaporating, producing a miniature swamp of sorts, muddy and stinky. It's a mess to step in, and easy to get stuck in.


More and more as I grow and mature, I realize that I can get stuck in the pool of my tears as well. The tears come for a reason, and they are good, but sometimes they begin to gather and pool and instead of soaking in to my heart and nourishing it, they can stagnate. I get stuck in the mud and the mire, and I need help to get out.


Psalm 40:1-3 says, "I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to my God."


I know that there is a time and a season to grieve. It is important and it serves a purpose for our hurting hearts as it drives us to call out to and depend on God, the only One we really can depend on. The problem is that sometimes I, and perhaps you do to, dear reader, get stuck there. We feel hopeless and helpless. We lose sight of Who God is and what He is doing in our lives. We think that all of life is going to be muddy and sticky and yucky, and we forget that God is right there standing with an outstretched arm to pull us out and rescue us. He has a rock for us to stand on, a place of great strength and stability, Jesus. And not only that, but He has a song for us to sing, that only we can sing for Him.

As I look at my back yard, I see that beyond the path where the muddy mire sits today, are two chairs. I can almost hear the Lord beckoning to me, "Grab hold of Me, I am here to lift you out and to set you on solid ground where you are free. Remember I am your strength and in Me you are strong. Come sit with me awhile, child, and let me sing to you the song I have for you to sing. It is a song of great beauty and of great joy, not of sorrow. You do not need to be stuck in your grief, but free in my love. Have hope for I am here to help."

And so, again, I chose to trust God and hold tight to Him -- no matter what, no matter when, no matter how, no matter where. I will trust in Him alone.

Abide in Jesus

For the past couple of months, I have been working on the bible study lesson that I am speaking on tomorrow. John 15:1-5 has occupied most of my thoughts, as I have sought the Lord to show me what He wants me to see. I feel as if I have eaten it, breathed it and soaked very cell of my body in these verses. They have become a part of me; although I am still nervous about speaking tomorrow.

I can now see that God has also been showing me what I needed to know during this time of trial. Out of my deeply hurting heart, I am now more and more deeply confident of the love of Jesus and His strength in us, when we trust in Him. Jesus says in John 15:5 "I am the vine and you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing."


Jesus is the Vine. We are the branches. He is the source of all life, strength, vigor and beauty. We, the branches, are all different, with different gnarls and different bends, but we all need Him.


Jesus calls for us to abide in Him, as He abides in us. To abide is to remain; to stay connected. We can do this by being in His Word and in prayer. Abiding in Jesus is having an active relationship with Him and living with a continual awareness of his strength in us. It is living with a constant connection to Jesus, in our thoughts, choices, plans and behaviors.


The good news is that when we abide in Him, we bear fruit. The problem is that we tend, in our sinfulness, to abide in things that do not bear fruit in our lives. We attach ourselves to "idols" that we think bring us strength and fruit in our lives, but really are just a lie. We connect ourselves to money, popularity, things, accomplishments and self-reliance to name a few. I know that I need to constantly be aware of these pulls on my life. Jesus is the only one that can give us the strength and life we need to produce fruit.


The fruit produced in our lives, as a result of our abiding in Jesus and He in us, is real fruit. It is not "fake fruit." Real fruit is not success, or numbers, achievements, or an impressive outward appearance. Fake fruit can look good on the outside, but it is hollow on the inside. It does not sustain. It will do nothing for those who eat it, other than maybe make them sick, and turn them away from the love of Jesus.


Real fruit is Christ like character in us. It is not for our own benefit, but for the glory of the Gardener (God) and for the benefit of those who eat it. It is the Fruit of the Spirit found in Galatians 5: 22; love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. It is the fruit of good works and service (Colossians 1:10), fruit of giving (Romans 15:26,28), fruit of growing in holiness and obedience (Romans 6:22), the fruit of praising God (Hebrews 13:15), and the fruit of sharing the truth of Jesus with others (John 4:32-36).


We can not bear the fruit that God has for us to bear without staying connected to Jesus, actively and continually in thought, word and deed. It is loving the Lord Jesus with our heart, soul and mind, regardless of where we are, what we are doing or what we are walking through.


We can not bear fruit by trying, only by abiding. This is a great encouragement, dear reader. Do you want to be gentle with a difficult person? Abide in Jesus. Do you want to be patient with your children? Abide in Jesus and He will give of His patience. Are you weary and in need of strength? Abide in Jesus and He will make you strong. Are you feeling useless? Abide in Jesus and you will bear real fruit. Are you fearful? Abide in Jesus and He will give you peace. Are you need of help? Abide in Jesus and you will know Him as your only true help. Are you tired and feel as if you can not do one more thing? Abide in Jesus, and He will give you rest and strength.

Times will be difficult. Perhaps they are right now. I can relate, but time and time again, the Lord has held me with His gentle arms, leaned over and whispered in to my ear, "Abide in me. I love you very much and I will give you my strength. Trust me. I have fruit for you to bear that you can not bear separate from me, and it is fruit that will bring glory to God and be a blessing to others." My prayer is that you will hear His call, as well, and abide in Him.

God Enables Us to Stand on the Heights

"It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; He enables me to stand on the heights" Psalm 32-33.

In general, I have a fear of heights. Yes, I did sky dive one time, but my fear lies more when I am climbing something and there is the potential that I may lose my footing and fall and be injured. I am nervous about climbing ladders with rickety rungs and unstable footings.

One time I went to a state park with my children. There was a tall, wooden observation tower, that naturally, they wanted to climb. Boldly putting my fears behind, I began the trek upward with them. Back and forth, the wooden steps (the ones that have holes in between where you are almost certain your foot and whole body could fit through if you stumbled) coursed, up and up. The wind was blowing cold and brisk that day. I found that I hung close to the core of the tower, holding tightly to the railing, and self-talking "Don't look down. Don't look down." Once I got to the top, I knew that it still was not a good idea for me to look down; too scary, too nauseating, but I did look out. And I realized that high about the trees, on the top of a hill, looking out over the water, I had a perspective that I could never have even imagined being on the ground.

And so it is with our trek with God. There are times when he asks us to climb towers in our lives that seem too scary and too risky. We are not sure of our footing. Will we slip and fall and be injured? But God makes our feet like the feet of a deer, and gives us a sure footing. We are not sure, but He is. He guides our steps. Proverbs 15:24 says "The path of life leads upward for the wise." As we seek God and His plan and purpose for our lives -- His wisdom -- we will climb upwards. And when we get to the top of the tower, He enables us to stand on the heights.

It is hard to imagine what we will observe from the heights that God will bring us to. " 'No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him' but God has revealed it to us by His Spirit" 1 Corinthians 2:9. God, in His strength and love, brings us to the heights that He has for us, and shows us, by His Spirit, what He desires for us to see.

Dear reader, do you feel scared on the journey that God has you on? Do you feel as if your footing is unsure? Are the winds of doubt and anxiety circling around you, making your trek more difficult? Do not look down, but look out. Look out and in to the face of Jesus. He will guide your steps. Cling close to Him and He will make your footing clear. You will not slip through the holes that threaten you. And when God brings you to the top, look out and observe what He has for you to see. He will give you, through His Spirit, a new and greater perspective. He makes our way perfect, arms us with strength, guides us in our steps, and brings us to the heights. We truly can not imagine what God has prepared for us who love Him. His love is unfailing.

In The Palm of His Hand

This morning I was working out with my youngest daughter, she on the elliptical, I on the treadmill. She, being only five, has lots of energy and figured that she would keep me company. Her little legs were going one hundred miles an hour, while I dogged the run. "Working out like this makes us strong, Mom. Strong and courageous!"

I laughed, appreciating that she had pulled that scripture verse from her heart. Strong, hopefully. Courageous, I wasn't so sure about, although it did cross my mind that depending on the day and my frame of mind, there probably was a certain amount of courage that I had to muster up to either go to the gym or work-out at home.

As I was jogging (and she was sprinting) I watched the news (with the volume down low so my daughter could not hear, although I suspect it was difficult for her to hear anything between my loud running steps and my heavy breathing). I thought TV may distract me from the physical discomfort that was growing inside my tired body.

Recession. Terrorist attacks. Joblessness. Murders. Drugs. Homicide bombings. Kidnappings. So much for distraction.

I began to think, "so much to be fearful of." The world seems upside down, with the latest culprit having its grip on the people of the world -- the Swine Flu. Apparently, it is now at a level 5, whatever that exactly means. Level 6 is the highest, so I guess not good. Clips of people all over the world wandering around with respiratory masks on, fear emanating from their eyes, projecting that which is in their hearts. Schools closing. People staying home. Uncertainty. Real concerns.

If it isn't enough to be hounded on the outside by such terrors, whether close to home or not, we have our own personal issues. Illnesses. Broken relationships. Financial strains. Loss of dreams. Abuse. Homelessness. The truth is, people hurting everywhere.

And with their pain, comes fear. Fears come from the reality that we may lose something precious to us like our family, our loved ones, our health, our homes. Things that we hold dear, lost to us, and then what will we do?

How do we watch the news and not fear? How do we look at our own life situations and not fear when we are dismayed, disillusioned, disheartened, and discouraged? We can combat fear by remembering Who God is.

Psalm 91:4b-6 is appropriate to even the fears of this day. "... His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys by midday." Isaiah 41:10 reminds us, "So do not fear, for I am with you, do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Dear reader, if you find yourself fearful today, I pray that this gives you comfort. The God of the universe who created everything (including you) is with you, holding you in His righteous, strong and powerful right hand. Imagine that. What an incredible thought. God holding out His hand, and you sitting right there, resting, in the very middle of it.

Working out may bring us physical strength (and maybe alittle bit of courage) but it is God who gives us the strength that we need to overcome the fears and discouragement that we face. He says that He will be the one who strengthens us. He is OUR God, and we are His.

The truth is, life is hard and hurtful, but we need to stand back and look at our fears in light of eternity. I need to be reminded of this, often. It is can be hard to grasp and hard to continue to hold on to. Life may not go as we had hoped. There will be disappointments. God will help us with our fear, but that does not mean that everything is going to work out perfectly, at least from our human perspective. We will lose things that are special to us, and it will be painful. But God is here to give us the grace and strength that we need, when we need it, and He will hold us, and carry us to our heavenly home in the palm of His hand.

PS -- I do want to add one caveat. Fear can be a "good" thing, sometimes. It can tell us that something is wrong, and that we need to act or react. If you find yourself in a situation that is abusive or dangerous, pay attention to your fear. God may be giving it to you for a reason. Flee from the situation that you are in, seek safety and pursue wise and godly counsel.

Wait for the Lord -- Be Strong

Psalm 27:13-14 says, "I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."

I don't know about you, but the idea of waiting conjures up all sorts of images in my mind that I do not find peace and joy in. Waiting in line at the grocery store, stuck in a traffic jam, waiting for an important phone call, and waiting for my food in a drive through. Waiting seems like an inconvenience, a nuisance, a waste of time. We are checking our watches, checking the mail, sizing up the shortest line, or trying to calculate the shortest distance from where we are to where we want to go, because we do not want to have to wait!

As I reflect on Good Friday and Easter Sunday, I am struck with the waiting the Jesus must have endured. Knowing what was to happen, he patiently waited through being glorified by the crowds as he entered Jerusalem, knowing that ridicule and betrayal were in hot pursuit and would be on His back within days. He endured betrayal, deception, mistreatment and abandonment. Jesus had the power and the authority to come down off of the cross, throw His arms up in air and say "Enough with you people!" But He did not. He, in strength and confidence, stayed there and died an excruciating death.

In the Garden of Gethsemane, while His beloved disciples slept, He prayed to Abba Father. He acknowledged that everything is possible for God, and then said, "Yet not what I will, but what you will" (Mark 14:32-36). Jesus waited and endured because He knew the Father's will and was willing to trust Him. He waited and endured because He loved you and me.

Waiting feels passive. It feels like, "Surely we should be doing something!" We want to take a short cut, perhaps get off at an earlier exit and weave our way home a different way, just to avoid the waiting. We size up the situation and look for the shorter line. We just want to get on with our lives, not wait! It feels as if nothing is happening, and like I mentioned before, like we are wasting time.

But this is not truth. Waiting requires a great amount of strength, strength that is given to us by the Lord. Waiting on the Lord is an active process of relying on the Lord and knowing Who He is. We are to know not just who He is, but we can know Him deeply and intimately and with that comes an assurance of Whom we can depend on and rely upon.

There is something in me, and perhaps in you, too dear reader, that says "Hurry up! Make a decision! Do something! You are wasting time!" But we are called not to rush ahead of God, but to wait on Him. We are to seek His Will and wait patiently.

Lamentations 3:25-26 encourages us that, "The Lord is good to those who trust in Him, to the one who seeks him. It is good to wait patiently for deliverance from the Lord." (NET) As we wait for the Lord, we can be assured that He will answer, and He IS answering. We can be confident that even right now, in the waiting, He is at work in our hearts and in our situation. We will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living!

So let us slow down, take a deep breath, grab hold of God's heart and be strong. Think upon our Lord Jesus today and what He endured as He waited and remember that He really does love you very much.

He Will Renew Our Strength -- That's a Promise

The sense of renewal abounds in Spring. The air has a new smell, the ground is fresh with new growth, birds begin to find their sweet little voices again. Even our homes seem to ache for a good cleaning and a freshening up with pastel colors and the accent of flowers.

And so it is with the desires of our hearts, a longing for renewal runs deep and wide. Amidst trial and suffering, we walk the precipice of wanting renewal and being overwhelmed with our here and now. The tension of living in this place of teetering on the edge of both realities is difficult.

Isaiah 40:30-31 says, "Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

We can take heart. We all are going to grow tired and weary, even the youngest and most fit. However, the Word then says "but," in other words "even when you do" by hoping in the Lord, your strength with be renewed. To hope in is to trust and look expectantly to the Lord. To renew in the Hebrew means to literally "change" like in a change of a clothes. When we are weary, we can put on a fresh garment of the strength of God through turning to Him and putting our trust in Him.

Waiting on the Lord is not a passive process. It is an active seeking and relying on Him, despite what our circumstances are. This is a process of discipline. Sometimes we are tempted to cry out "But it's too hard!" This is one of the mysteries of God at work in us, we try to hope, and at the same time, He pours in to us the strength to do so.

When we do, we are able to do the unimaginable. God gives us the strength to soar above like the eagle. He gives us the strength to run the race marked out for us and to move forward in His work in our lives and in the lives of the people around us. In Isaiah 40:31 "weary"means "exhaustion because of the hardness of life." We can trust that God will give us the strength to overcome this weariness, even when our circumstance may not change.

Yes, dear reader, in all of life, we will grow weak and tired. We may be exhausted. But as we hope in the Lord and trust Him, He will renew our strength. He will bring life to us again, rejuvenate us, grow us up and make us new again. And we will be able to soar and run and walk over and through wherever He asks us to journey with Him.

As you look about in our physical world of the renewing that God is doing in the process of Spring, take heart that as you depend on Him, He will (not maybe) give you strength and bring new life to you.

Do Not Lose Heart -- Nothing is Wasted with God

With muscles aching and breathing labored, I began to unpack the streamers and balloons. I was getting ready for my pity party. It started during my workout. I was with a group of people, participating in a "boot camp" style of working out. I was rotating through different exercises, led by a "platoon leader" and just about killing myself with exhaustion. I appreciate the results of working out, but I hate the process.

"Why does everything have to be so hard for me?" I grumbled to myself. Everything about getting through this trial is hard. Working out is hard. Getting up is hard. Sleeping through the night is hard. Staying organized is hard. My list went on and on. The only thing I could really say wasn't hard was eating, and that was only because I had Thin Mint Girl Scout Cookies in the house, but even so, resisting to eat the whole box, was hard. And so the party began, and I was well on my way with noise makers and party games before long.

Then in the nick of time, thankfully, the truth of God was hand delivered to me by two people; nothing is wasted in God's economy. And the still small voice of God gently nudged my stubborn heart and said, "Therefore do not lose heart."

Now where was that verse? I picked up my bible and searched it out. 2 Corinthians 4:16 - 18 says "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

I felt as if I was losing heart. I wanted to give up. Throw in the towel. Jump ship. (Although I wasn't sure where I would jump to.) The truth is, we all are getting older day by day but more so, I also was feeling the outward physical effects of wasting away as I was enduring a trial for a long period of time. I was tired, weary, even aching. Much like I feel during my workout.
The verses encourage us, though, that, in the power of the Holy Spirit, our inner being is being renewed day by day. When I workout, I do not see the benefit of what is happening each time I lift a weight or run or row. The great amount of physical exertion and strenuous activity do not produce strong muscles overnight. Much in the same way, the suffering in our lives although it may be taking its toll on our bodies, is producing a strength in our inner being. And God as the great "platoon leader" is standing there assisting us through the whole process.

There is so much in these three verses that I see, as I study them tonite, and it would take me a long time to write them all, so I encourage you, dear reader, to seek God in what He may have for you here. We need to keep our eyes fixed not on our circumstances, but looking up and away, we can fix our eyes on the eternal glories that our trials are achieving for us, producing for us, working out for us. Nothing is wasted in God's economy; He is using it all.

This is not all for our good, however. It is also for the good of God's people and for His glory. As we endure the workout of our sufferings, we gain a greater capacity to praise, serve and glorify God, not only in the now, but in the future, when we will stand before Him and struggle no more.

Just for the record, the party is pretty much torn down now. The Lord helped me get rid of the pathetic pity party. The only party I'm now working on preparing for is the one that I look forward to celebrating in heaven.