God's Rescuing, Delivering Love

I woke up this morning with the chains of sorrowful memories tightening around my heart and I felt claustrophobic within the tight place of disgust, disappointment and maybe even, despair.

Anniversaries can be sweet times of remembrance of joyful occasions, but they can also be grief filled times when they mark hard, heart breaking events.

All I could think of this morning was, “I need some time with the Lord, desperately.” I knew that I needed time with Him to remember Who He was, which of course is Who He is, and remember what He has done for me and in me. I needed to be realigned, refocused, and held by Him. And so, this is what I have been doing, reading over my bible, noting the truths in His Word and noting the words that I sketched in the margins of my bible, marking the moments in time when He spoke to me, over the years.

My encouragement to you today is that God is faithful – always faithful. Others will fail you, but God will not. Psalm 37:39-40 says, “The salvation of the righteous comes from the Lord; He is their stronghold in time of trouble. The Lord helps them and delivers them.”

God is our Stronghold – a strongly fortified defensive structure. He is our Helper and our Deliverer. We do not need to feel bound by the chains of past heart ache, for He can and will deliverer us from all that hinders and holds us back from having a full life in Him. He has set an impenetrable fortress around our heart and it is called Love.

So, dear reader, when you feel the tightening grip of difficult memories, run to the One who can free you again and again. In the powerful and all-loving name of Jesus, call out to the Lord, and ask Him to set your heart free. Replace the visual of the claustrophobic chains with the visual of the truth of the Arms of your Rescuing Deliverer. He safely, securely wraps His love around your heart, protecting you, cherishing you, repairing you and redeeming you, for He loves you with an unfailing love.

Please Reassure My Heart, Lord

I suppose the weather being blustery and cold didn’t help. I noticed my eight year old daughter scampering around this morning, both in body and in mind. She wasn’t sure whether she could wear something to school (because of dress code), her notebook needed to be signed, her hair needed to be done, and she hadn’t a chance to eat much. As I was pulling up her hair in to a pony tail, she let out a sigh of exasperation, “I just know this is going to be the worst day ever.”

Shortly thereafter, while everyone else hustled to the car, I noticed her at the pantry door, whimpering.

“What’s wrong, dear?” I said.

“I forgot to pack my lunch and now I’m going to be late!”

I asked her to stop what she was doing and look at my face, as I reassured her. “Oh, honey, try to calm down and take one thing at a time. You are going to be fine. There is plenty of time. All you need to do is ask for help. You don’t have to do it all on your own. I know you are trying to be responsible, but everyone needs some assistance. It’s part of my job to help you; please ask me when you need it. I love you.”

Right then, I knew that if I had been in a movie, the screen would have frozen and the narrator’s voice would have boomed from above, “Did you hear what you just said, Andrea? Are you listening? You are your daughter, and I am you. This is true for your life, too.”

Sometimes, we find ourselves convinced, before we even step in to the day that it is going to be the worst day ever. One thing after another goes wrong, our plates are too full, we have too many balls in the air, and it feels as if it is all going to fall apart. Not to mention, there are the internal struggles stirring around inside of us like fears, jealousy, disappointment, and more. Ugh. Oh, what to do?

“There is no one like the God of Jeshurun (Israel), who rides on the heavens to help you and on the clouds in His majesty. The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms” (Deuteronomy 33:26-27).

Dear reader, when you find yourself overwrought, ask the Lord for help and reassurance of His presence. Allow Him to wrap His strong yet gentle arms around you. The One who holds the Universe together is the one Who loves you. Everywhere you are, He is right there. Receive the comfort that He has for your heart. He says to you, “Calm down, dear one. Just ask for My help. I know that you are trying your best, but everyone needs some assistance. You cannot do this life on your own. Lean on Me. Helping you is what I love to do, because I love you. Take one thing at time, you are going to be fine because you are mine.”

When we got in the car, I asked my daughter, “Are you better? What can I do to help you not feel as sad, before you go to school? Do you need a hug?” A smile appeared on her face. She quickly unbuckled and leaned over the driver seat where I sat, turned in her direction. I held her for a few minutes, and then we were on our way. I think she was reassured and felt better, and thanks to what the Lord showed me about myself and Him, so do I.

Repairing the Tear

My friend Sara is a Speech and Language Pathologist. She shared with me a concept that she uses with her elementary school friends who have challenges. When they have done something wrong to someone -- a tear -- she encourages them to say they are sorry, but then she also speaks to them about the next step of importance -- “repairing the tear.”

She presents to them a visual of something being torn. Sometimes they are little rips, and sometimes they are big rips, even really big rips, resulting in two separate pieces. When something is torn, it is different. It is not the same anymore.

When they have hurt someone (either physically or emotionally), they need to say they are sorry. They need to express that they will try not to do it again, and then they need to show the person that they are sorry. It may be a kind word, a helpful hand, a note or a picture. Some attempt to do something to “repair the tear” is necessary to show that the words “I am sorry” have meaning and that the one they have hurt has value, as well.

I’ve been thinking a lot about “repairing the tear” and how it applies to all of us. There are tears that we make and tears that are inflicted upon us. There are tears that are short and tears that are long. There are tears that are shallow and tears that are deep. There are tears that can even go straight through our heart. We can feel as if our heart is completely torn in two with all the contents spilling out. There are tears of infidelity, gossip, slander, selfishness, anger, abuse, deception and much more. There are tears from when we are little and from when we are older. There are tears that need some mending and tears that need a long operation of repair. There are tears that are quickly mended, and others that require much time.

Dear reader, where do you find yourself today? Maybe you have torn something and need to humbly take responsibility, repent and move towards repairing the tear. Ask the Lord to go with you and humbly seek out the heart of the one you care for and work to “repair the tear.” He is faithful to guide you as you walk in obedience to repent and change.


Or maybe you have been hurt, and sadly enough, the one who hurt you is not interested in repairing the tear, leaving you feeling as if you are damaged goods. Have hope, dear reader, and be comforted and strengthened in this – the Lord is the master Tailor who can mend and restore any tear. Submit your torn and frayed heart to the hand of God. He will come in and do His work to make you complete again. He will care for you, gently holding you in His hand and bringing the jagged edges of your heart back together, stitch by stitch, grace by grace.

Safe and Sound

I looked out the window of the restaurant near the top of the John Hancock building in Chicago. I just completed lunch with my daughter and her friend, and we were making plans to head home. I peered out over the landscape and contemplated taking an alternative route. It surely appeared that the road heading north along the shore would bring me right where I wanted to go. We descended from our perch on high, loaded the car, and drove off along the route that I was certain would be best.

It really didn’t take all that long for me to realize that I was wrong. I thought it looked as if I could go north for quite awhile, but found myself with no other option than to go west. Before I knew it, I was weaving my way through all sorts of neighborhoods in the northern parts of Chicago, traveling west, north, south and east, again and again. I kept a close eye on the store fronts and intersections, hoping that I was not crossing in to more tenuous territory, but I was getting concerned. I was lost and had no idea where I was or even how to get back to where I had been. I did not have a map. Looking at the digital compass in my car was not helping. I did not have a GPS to plug in my destination point. I was in trouble, and I was feeling foolish.

Then I remembered -- OnStar. I had Onstar in the vehicle! Other than using it to unlock my doors when I had locked my keys in the car a half dozen or more times, I had never used it; I was desperate to try.


And, sure enough, it worked. I pushed the button and within seconds a friendly voice greeted me using my full name and introducing herself. “How can I help you today, Andrea?” I could feel my blood pressure lower just at the sound of her voice and the knowledge that she even knew my name!

I explained to her that I was lost and went through the story. Before I could even finish, she gently interrupted with, “Oh, I see just where you are. You are on “such and such a street” and should be crossing over “such and such a street.” No problem, Andrea. I can get you to just where you want to go. Don’t worry. I’ll stick right here with you and guide you along the way.”

And she did. Each intersection along the way she indicated where I was. She would tell me when I was approaching a new street or landmark, how long until I would need to turn, which lane I should get in to, which way I was to turn, and exactly when I was to turn. She stayed present in the vehicle with me until I was safely on the highway that I needed to be on, that would lead me home.

“Is there anything else I can help you with today, Andrea?” she graciously asked. I was tempted to ask for a cup of tea to calm my nerves, but then I realized that she had already done that. Her knowing who I was, where I was, and how and where I needed to go in order to get back on track was a great comfort to me.

So many times I have thought of this story. It happened a year ago, but it comes back to my mind when I find myself not so much lost in the car, but just lost in what I am to do next. Sometimes I get off track, I think I know the best way to go, but I don’t, and I need some help. Sometimes, I am just plain old perplexed. The road signs are all boggled up, and I need direction. Sometimes, I am hurt, or scared, or sad, or overwhelmed or just confused.

Thankfully, the Lord is ready, able and present to help. Psalm 145:17-19 says, “The Lord is righteous in all His ways and loving toward all He has made. The Lord is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; He hears their cry and saves them.”


Lost wondering what to do next, dear reader? Confused about a circumstance in your life? Feeling off track and in need of guidance? Wandering around and not seeing any familiar landmarks? Not sure where to go or how to respond to a difficult situation? Frustrated with yourself over wrong choices you may have made? In need of wisdom and direction? Call out to the Lord and listen to His voice. He is present. He knows your name. He knows where you are and He is faithful to direct you in the way you should go, safe and sound.

Come Dear One, and Hold My Hand

Getting out of my car at the grocery store, I noticed a little girl of about four or five years old. With a teddy bear gripped in one arm, she ran through the parking lot, headed towards the store doors. Following in close pursuit, her mother called to her, “Come here, dear, right now! Hold my hand! Parking lots are dangerous. You could get hit by a car or fall and hurt yourself. Please hold on to my hand!”

Thankfully, there are no other details to my story, other than what God impressed upon my heart. There was a chance that the outcome could have been different …

Are we not like that little child sometimes? We are going from here to there, either physically, emotionally or spiritually, at a rapid rate. We try and grip all sorts of things for security (like the teddy bear), but these things do not provide for us what the Lord does. Our Father in heaven calls out to us, “Come here, dear one, I love you. Hold my hand. My hand is not a restraining one, but a loving one. It is dangerous out there. Let me guide you, protect you and lead you, safely.”

Psalm 139:10 says, “… Your hand will guide me; your right hand will hold me fast.” God is ever present, calling to us when we walk the wrong way and try and dart out from under His love and His commands for us. He is aware of the dangers that are around us. We may be unaware, but He is ever aware.

The little child needed to slow down, listen, reach out for a loving hand and hang on, and so do we. We need to realize that our security is not from the things that we hold on to, but from the One who is willing to hold our hand. Reach out, dear reader, and grasp the strong and gentle hand of God today, for He loves you very much.

A Walk Down Memory Lane

I sat down to work on a short devotional that I was asked to present at our women’s Bible study. Instead of looking through other books, I decided that I would review my blog and see if there was anything that I could tie in to the lesson that was being taught from the book of Deuteronomy.

As I walked down memory lane, through the myriad of entries over the past ten months, I realized that I had posted over one hundred twenty times. My desire had been, back in December of 2008, to share stories and truths about what God was teaching me through a great time of trial. I had set out to look for Him amidst the days (and nights) and to record all that I learned about Him and about myself, hoping that it would be an encouragement to others. What I didn't realize at the time was how valuable what I wrote would be to me. I now am able to look back and remember where I was, Who God was and is, and how He brought me out of my own “Egypt” step by step. And He continues to do so.

What I can say today with great certainty, because I have lived it, is that God is amazing. As I look back through the months entries, I now know that I would never have remembered all of the details if I had not written them down. Only because I recorded them, time and time again, can I now remember and be assured of Who God is. God is faithful. He is my Redeemer. He is my Strong Tower. He is my Fortress, my Protector, my Counselor, and the Lover of my soul. He does show up (not that He ever left); He is ever present. I am His treasured possession. I do not need to worry. Truly, He has taken care of all of my yesterdays and will continue to take care of all of my tomorrows.

Remembering, dear reader, helps to combat doubt and despair. My friend Lori is teaching our women’s study right now and she so clearly and wisely said, “Remembering what God has done gives us confidence in His character.” She is right, and as I look through the months, I can see how, like the Israelites, the Lord, has carried me (Deuteronomy 1:31) and I have grown to know Him deeply and love Him more.

I am so thankful that I started this blog. At first, I wasn't sure what direction it would take or if I could even keep up with it. I guess that is testimony to God's faithfulness, in itself. Not only do I believe that God has used it (and is using it) as part of His healing balm for me, He is also using it as a continual reminder of His unfailing love.

Today, I encourage you to remember what God has done in your life. Begin a journal or a blog and record what He is teaching you and how He is comforting you. As you seek and write down the pearls that God gives you, you will grow more confident in God’s character, His faithfulness and so much more. You will have a living testimony of God’s love for you.

(P.S. If you start a blog, let me know; I’d love to follow the story that He is writing in your life. It would bring me great joy to hear more about His character and His love, through you.)

Anxiety Relief

I haven’t seen the commercial for years, but the tune was a catchy one. “Plop! Plop! Fizz! Fizz! Oh! What a relief it is!” The solution to the plague of indigestion and whatever may have caused it came in the form of two white tablets that would bubble and bubble and then take your grief away. How I wish that this was true for all ailments of anxiety!

If we had to be honest with ourselves, and why wouldn’t we be, we all struggle with anxiety from time to time, and sometimes, more frequently and intensely than others. The feeling is all too familiar. It may start as an unsettled feeling in the heart, and before long, permeates the whole body causing a sensation of fullness in the gut, throbbing in the head, and jittering of the limbs, or at least some variation of that. Our pulse quickens and our heart beats scatter like the marks of a seismograph right before an earthquake. I hate the feeling, and I suspect that you do, too.

The thing is not so much that we struggle with it, but what do we do with it? Oh, in time, each of us has developed all sorts of solutions to the feeling of anxiety. We want to shed it, get rid of it, escape it – and we’ll do just about anything to do it. We tend to look for extremes in order to try and get the sticky, icky cling-on of anxiety off of us. We’ll overeat, overreact or over-drink. We’ll exercise too much or adapt the position of a couch potato. We’ll shop, drink too much coffee, indulge in massive amounts of chocolate or crawl up under the covers and try to hibernate till warmer, sunnier days. We over talk our anxiety, running to the door (or phone) of anyone who will listen, or we pull our heads in to our shells and camp out there. We may watch too much TV, spend too much time on the Internet, or engage in risk taking behavior.

I believe that God knows what we are prone to do. He knows our make-up and all of its weaknesses, but He gives us a solution. He says that we are to not be anxious and to cast our cares upon Him. He knows that we tend to get relief from our anxieties through lots of things, and let’s face it, we do. We want to cast them on other things, beside Him, and guess what? It does not work, and in truth, it causes more anxiety. The things we are tempted to try add to our anxieties not relieve them. Try as we will, as soon as we turn around they are stuck to us again like a piece of lint that will not go away, on a dry, static-y winter day.

We need to stop and acknowledge the unhealthy things that we tend to do when we are anxious. When we are unable to see and own our weaknesses, then they are more likely to have control over us. Identifying and acknowledging the sneaky bandits is the first step – or is it? No, wait a minute … I’m thinking not, what the Lord would say is to “seek Him.” Don’t put all these other things first. Seek Him and live (Amos 5:4).

Yes, dear reader, as I process through these thoughts on anxiety today, I would say that this is it. Looking for relief from your anxiety? Seek the Creator of the Universe who loves you with a relentless, unfailing love, first. Ask Him to come in and calm your anxious spirit and give you peace. Then, ask Him to reveal to you where you run and try to hide and find your comfort – a false comfort. Ask Him to show you healthy ways for you to relieve your stress, activities and thoughts that will not harm you, nor hurt you but will help you. Ask Him for perspective, His perspective, on what is going on in your life. He is our “Wonderful Counselor” the “Prince of Peace” (Isaiah 9:6) who will be your All in all.

Compassion and Comfort

I lounged back in the chair at the dentist office. The hygienist and I exchanged light conversation, but quickly it developed a more tender tone as she shared with me the recent news of her mother’s death. She talked and I mumbled in the vernacular of “patient at the dentist with the mouth wide open,” listening intently to stories of bits and pieces of her mother’s life and death. Suddenly, her eyes, peering over the edge of her mask, welled up with tears and mine, hidden behind the lenses of the protective eye wear, did as well. She portrayed the grief of having lost a dear one, and I felt a wave of compassion as memories of similar and not so similar losses were refreshed in my heart and mind.

Compassion. It is a beautiful experience in the life of a person, and a powerful one. God is full of never-ending compassion. It seems to me that compassion is cultivated by the loving hand of God in the fertile field of our own suffering. There the small seed takes root as we experience the comfort and compassion of God in our lives, through our own heartaches and struggles. Over time, as God tills and tends the field of our suffering, He brings forth the most fruitful and abundant of harvests. Compassion (amongst many other virtues) grows and becomes a source of refreshment and nourishment to others.

Compassion is different from “feeling sorry” for someone else’s difficulties and hurts. “Feeling sorry” is often a fleeting thought or sense of concern, but compassion is a deep tenderheartedness that is willing to suffer with another, and leads to action. Compassion is moving beyond ourselves and in to the lives and hearts of other people, both friends and foes. It is here that we can take the lessons and love that God has given us through our own ordeals and care and comfort others.

2 Corinthians 1:3 says, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” God showers us with His comfort, and in turn we are not only comforted but our compassion grows and blooms so that we are able to pass on His comfort to others.

Dear reader, “…as God’s chosen people, hold and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion” (Colossians 3:12). Our struggles do not need to be the same in order for us to have compassion and bring comfort to others. We need only to be willing to reach out with a helping hand or an encouraging word, provide a shoulder to cry on, an understanding patience, a timely prayer, a hug, or a moment of silent shared tears. And in doing this, God uses us as a vehicle to transfer His grace and comfort to another whereby they are blessed and so are we. Somehow, God can use an opportunity for us to be compassionate to another as a stream that carries the vessels of healing, both in the lives of others and at the same time, in our own. I know it helped me today; I pray it helped my hygienist, as well.

Pencil? Marker? Ball Point Pen?

The other day I grabbed a pencil and some note cards and went down to the lake to write down some things that were on my mind. The ideas began to flow, but as I put the pencil to the paper, I realized that the pencil was dull. It had a little bit of life left in it, but not much. Before long I was sketching out words partly in lead and partly in wood scratches.

And then an “out of the blue” thought popped in to my mind, “Right now, am I more of a pencil, a marker or a pen?”

Am I pencil, who needs sharpening when I wear down? Do I need to stop and be reminded and sharpened by the truth of God’s Word in order to be an instrument for His use? Am I dull and therefore not able to do the work that God has set out for me?

Or am I a marker that is drying out? Call it burn out or over-use syndrome , do I need to steal away to a protected place and become refreshed again? Do I need time for restoration and renewal?

Or am I ball point pen that has completely run out of ink and needs a new cartridge? Are there parts of my life that are no longer beneficial to myself or others? Are there parts that are not bringing glory to God? Are there “dead” parts within me that need to be replaced with life?

How about you, dear reader? Are you worn down and feeling like you are of little use to God? Turn to the Lord and ask Him to show you what you can do. Do you need to be sharpened and reminded of God’s truth, by His Word? Do you need to sequester away and be refreshed and revitalized? Or do you need ask God to remove the parts that are no longer of use, and replace them with new power and strength so that you are equipped to follow and serve Him?

For me, perhaps it is a bit of each. Burn out sets in when I am tired, not seeking God faithfully in His Word, guarding my time in prayer, or evaluating my life and asking God to remove those parts that are not godly or honoring to Him. Thankfully, God is faithful and always present to restore and make us useful for His service. We are His instruments of peace and grace. God chooses to use our lives to write the story of His love which He in turn will use to bring life to the world around us.

Oh! Me of Little Faith

The other day I found myself saying on more than one occasion “If it’s not one thing it’s another.” In retrospect, it’s really a silly statement, stating the more than obvious. Of course there is always something happening, and yet, we usually grumble these words when we are in series of difficulties, and not when we are experiencing joys strung together like a string of pearls.

You see, in addition to a multitude of other “issues” our cat went missing. Unfortunately, we didn’t note his absence until dusk, when it is next to impossible to spot anything in the near darkness of the night. We prayed. We made signs. We rang doorbells. We called his name (although he is not known for bounding at attention when we do so).We prayed some more. We walked around the block with a flashlight. We crawled behind bushes. Eventually, the darkness of the night closed in around us and we went indoors to wait it out.

My oldest daughter placed food and a kennel on the back porch, and we began to formulate our plan for the night. Who would sleep on the floor next to the screen door, available for the cat’s hopeful return? How would we fit at least five people on the kitchen rug, and who was willing to extend in to the family room? What if he didn’t return? When would we call the Humane Society? Should we leave the food indoors or outdoors? Would a wild animal eat the food?

And then out of nowhere, we heard a “meow” and there he was, standing by the screen door.

“Oh, you of little faith” was the first thing that popped in to my mind, and I immediately developed a pit in my heart that sprouted forth with disappointment in my lack of faith; I was humbled. I had prayed for the cat’s return, but not whole heartily. No sooner did we realize the cat was gone that the “what if’s” marched right in and set up camp. There they quickly unpacked, got out the artillery and were ready and armed to wage war against my faith, and they seemed to be winning.

I forgot and feared, when I need to remember and rely. I was afraid. I was flooded with memories of other times when I had prayed for one thing, and God had given me another. What I forgot was that when God had said “no” to a prayer, He had something different in mind and He was not going to leave me alone, unequipped of His grace to handle it.

Dear reader, perhaps you have experienced a similar wavering in your faith, either in a small way or a large one. In the gospels I see Jesus interacting with those who love Him, during challenging times, and I hear Him saying to them, “Oh, you of little faith!” This statement from Jesus usually came right after the disciples had witnessed a miracle like the feeding of the five thousand. Phew! I am not alone! In the book of Mark (9:22-24) Mark shares the story of man who is pleading with Jesus to heal his son. The father said, “But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us.” Jesus responds with, “’If you can?’ Everything is possible for him who believes.” Immediately the father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief.” The father had belief and unbelief present at the same time.

The cat showed up within the hour of when our search started. Although my faith at that moment was weak, God chose to have the cat return. However, I think God had something bigger to show me – my unbelief. I’m not sure I totally understand it, but I am convicted of it, and humbled by it. Somehow, I too, have belief and yet, unbelief.

And so tonight, and I am sure for days to come, my prayer is: Dear Lord, please help me with my unbelief. I love you and want to follow you. Whether it is one thing, or another, help me to remember what You have done for me and help me to rely on You.

Listening for the Voice of God

Early in the morning, I sat along the shore of the lake. The sun was glistening off of the top of the water. A gentle breeze refreshed the air with the aroma of Autumn. I set out to practice “intentional listening.”

Faint voices reflected across the water. A fish jumped. A flock of geese flew overhead. A dog barked, and another one responded from across the lake. For a short time, they howled back and forth, communicating in an unknown language. A cell phone rang from a boat where two boys and a father fished. The intermittent “kerplunk” of a fishing lure hit the water, and a quieter “click, click click” of the reel followed. Laughter danced. Two children argued (regrettably, mine). The faint drone of a motorcycle ascended then descended, as the bike drove down a distant road. A bee buzzed. Doors slammed.

At ten o’clock, though, all changed. The motor boats with their loud gregarious engines started up and all else was drowned out. Although certainly still present, I could no longer hear the sounds of life through the noise.

“Intentional listening.” So many distractions keep us from listening. We hear all sorts of things, but we seldom listen. I’ve been thinking about the difference. Hearing is a physical action, but listening finds its source in the heart. It is the picture of a mother leaning close to her child, gently, sincerely, lovingly paying attention to what they are saying and trying to understand the heart and soul of the child.

The skill of listening, dear reader; is it not precious and essential? With the Lord, we may think we hear what He is saying, but do we genuinely, regularly listen with the ears of our hearts? “… if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts …” the writer of Hebrews exhorts us (Hebrews 3:7). Do we neglect His voice and walk in our own ways, hardening our minds and our love for Him by seeking our own voice or the voices of others?

Listen for the voice of Truth, today, and chose to let it permeate your soul and make a difference in your life. Listen for His voice in the difficult circumstances of your life and listen for His voice in the small happenings of your day. Do not let the noise of the world and all of its temptations and lies drown out the voice of Truth. Lean in close to God, in a quiet spot in your home, in your work, in your school day, or in your comings and goings, and seek His voice, the voice of Life, with your heart.

The Fog of Worry

The white lines of the road seemed to dash past me on my left, as I drove down the highway. I could not see much of anything else. The dense morning fog saturated the air. Only mere shadows of things were visible, making it hard to determine road signs and familiar markers. I knew they were all out there, I just couldn't see them, and perspective faded away. Within miles the fog dissipated and my ability to see in to the distance was restored. The colors were again clear and vivid. I could see down the road and be prepared for bumps in the road, exits and even, potential detours that just moments before had been challenging to predict.

So it is with worry and anxiety. I can get stuck in the fog of it. I don’t really intend to, it just seems like it creeps up on me, and I creep in to it. Quickly, I feel the confined claustrophobia of worry. My perspective fades. I miss out on the vivid scenery around me. The colors of life are less bright, and my ability to be prepared for bumps in the road and the ways I need to go are inhibited by an overwhelming sense of worry.

Worry – it can be over one big thing or made up of a gazillion (is that even a word you may ask? The dictionary actually says it is and defines it as “an extremely large, indeterminate number”) little drops of matter that form a mask, a film, a screen. It inhibits our vision of God and of our circumstances. It overtakes us and blocks our ability to trust and rest and be restored by the Lord.

God knows that we are prone to it – it is the mistrust in us that messes with our minds and hearts. He encourages us, though, to not worry. He has it all covered – our worry need not do the covering. We will not add a single hour to our day by doing so (Matthew 6:25-34) and it will only result in anxiety, not productivity or peace.

Dear reader, when we find ourselves overcome by worry, we need to turn our attentions to God through His Word and in prayer, trusting in Him. It is a challenge. There are really big things that do bring us concern; life is full of uncertainties and responsibilities. Trust them to the Lord, ask Him what you should do and what you need to place in to His tender care. Over time, you will see that He does make all things clearer. He will lift the fog and will lead you, prepare you and gently care for you.

PS -- Lest anyone thinks I do not struggle, I really need to heed my own advice today. So, off I go to cooperate with God in clearing the fog ...

Seasons of Change

“What did you sell today, Mom” my middle daughter chirped as she hopped in the car, after school. Day one of the garage sale was over. The children worked hard at helping me and were excited about the profits that they would gain.

“Let’s see. We sold the punching bag, some movies, the dresser, vases with flowers, some clothes, the red scooter and the large jogging stroller.”

On mention of the last item, I glanced back in the rear view mirror, and noticed that small tears were running down her sweet face.

“What’s wrong, honey? What are you sad about?”

“It’s just that I’m going to miss that jogging stroller. I loved that stroller. It was always so fun to be in, and now it’s gone."

It’s been said that one thing we can count on to stay the same is – change. Cleaning out and getting rid of things in a garage sale reminded me of that. I reminisced about times things had been used, how time passes and how so much does change. Even my daughter, who recently rarely was a passenger in the jogging stroller, still felt the tension of change (although small)– letting go of something that somewhere deep inside, had meaning to her.

Change is all about us right now. September in the Midwest is a season of change. The trees start to turn from green to gold and orange. The wind becomes dry and the grass brown. The smell of paper, pencils and new school supplies fills the house. Seasons change. Clothing styles change. Our health changes. Our stage in life changes. Places change. People change.

Our life circumstances are constantly changing, in big and small ways. Sometimes the change happens quickly, other times slowly. Difficult diagnoses. Job losses and gains. Kids going off to school. Family members going off to war. We may change houses, cities, or countries. The dynamics of our families may change. We may suffer loss in the form of the death of a loved one or divorce. We may lose a dream.

Dear reader, we are faced with all sorts of uncertainties and sometimes, tragedies. We find ourselves needing to adjust to a “new normal” and overwhelmed with how we are going to do that. What is it going to look like? Whom do we turn to? How do we find solace and rest? What or whom can we depend on when change is all around us?

Our only hope can be in the One who never changes (Malachi 3:6). The Lord is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow - forever. Life is always changing and sometimes those changes can be difficult. However, let changes in your life be the cord that draws you to the One who never does change. Let the evidence of change around you be a reminder of God’s faithfulness. No matter what, in season and out of season, through all the storms and strife, big and little, He will never abandon you nor change. He is the Lord who is faithful, forever (Psalm 146:6).

The (Not) Car Wash

I only had 10 minutes between point G and H: I had already driven from point A through F that day. My car was in desperate need of a wash, so I pulled in to the automatic car wash depot and began to deposit my dollar bills. I was (almost) certain that I could rummage up enough money to pay for the car wash. One by one, I inserted the bills in to the slot on the machine, often having to reinsert them after they were spit back out at me. The machine apparently did not recognize them as genuine tender. I was getting frustrated. Coming up short of dollar bills, I turned to the change cup that I have in my car and began to dig through a multitude of coins, trying to unearth a sufficient amount of quarters. Again, I came short of my goal, then to notice that the machine would only take quarters in change … no other coins accepted.

Disappointed, discouraged – ok … irritated – I pushed the “refund” button to hear the loud clanging of quarters as they spilled in to the metal cup. Great, not only did I not get a car wash, I now had a slew of quarters to add to my already overflowing cup of coins. It’s just not what I had planned or wanted. What a waste of time!

Sometimes, in life we can feel this way, as well. We may try to make deposits as we serve the Lord, only to come up short, and then not have the outcome we expect. Disappointment sets in. We pick up and put on the cloak of discouragement (rather than the full armor of God) and emanate irritation rather than joy; at least, I know I do.

How about you, dear reader? Do you ever feel as if you have invested in a project, a ministry, a circumstance, a dream or a person and you have come up short? Are you discouraged by not experiencing a favorable outcome? Are you feeling as if you want to throw in the towel, pack up and leave, or push the “refund” button?

Remember that in God’s economy, nothing is wasted, and endurance is a prized possession. There may be times when our plans seem to be thwarted, or we are not able to do what we desired, or we have to wait, but God tells us to not grow weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up (Galatians 6:9). He does not forget what we do for Him. Hebrews 6:10 says, “God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them.”

Persevere. Endure patiently. Love the Lord above all things, trusting Him to give you what you need to complete the work that He has for you to do, in His time.

Born To Do This!

There is something about learning to ride a bike that is so beautiful! I watched my youngest daughter mount her bike and with great confidence, take to it like a butterfly to the sky. Within minutes, she was circling round and round the circle at the end of our street. The wind was blowing the wisps of hair out from under her helmet and her smile spread from chin strap to chin strap. Then, as she was peddling away from me, little head held high, hands gripping the handle bars, I heard her sing out loud, with great joy …

“I wasss boorrrnnnn tooo dooo thisss!”

There is the little child in each of us, I am certain, that yearns to find the thing that we are born to do. I am not talking about the thousand things we do each day, which are important and necessary, but realizing what our God given passion is. What makes our heart sing, and ultimately, what makes our heart sing for God?

It is about discovering what God has called us uniquely to do for Him. It is understanding how and believing that He has gifted us. It is seeking Him for how He desires us to use those gifts.
Ultimately that which we find true joy in is what God has called us to do, whether little or big, and it becomes an act of worship in our lives. If He calls us to serve, and we are doing it with His prompting and in His power, it brings us joy. If we are called to teach, and do it unto the Lord, it brings us joy. If we are called to encourage, and do it with a motivation to strengthen others in the truth, then it brings us joy. If we are called to intercede in prayer for others, it brings us great joy. And on and on.

When we discover what we are born to do we are able to enjoy God in it, glorify Him and find our joy, as well. What about you, dear reader? God has given each of us gifts to use for His sake, to encourage and help others. What are yours? I think it is hard to know, sometimes, maybe even most times. There are so many distractions pulling at us, calling us away from what God wants us to do. Ask God. He will show you. He is faithful to do so.

My prayer is that you will know and with confidence proclaim, “I was born to do this!” and that in it you would find the beauty of who you are and be filled with the joy of Jesus.

Graffiti

Tkty. Clunk. Tkty. Clunk. Tkty.Clunk. Tkty. The children and I listened to the rapid, deep, monotonous tone of the train wheels along the train track, watching it speed along side of our car, as we headed to school this morning.

“Mom? Do bad, troubled people write all that stuff on the cars of the train?” my ten year old son asked. We talked about graffiti for a bit and how graffiti is usually not good. It is commonly associated with people vandalizing, destroying or not respecting other people’s property.

Since then, visions of graffiti have clicked through my mind all day. I think we all have graffiti in our lives. Like the train cars, our hearts have been spray painted with messages by people who are troubled themselves. We travel through life past different scenery - over mountains of hope, in to valleys of despair, across the plains of apathy, over bridges of desire and through forests of confusion. We carry on through different seasons, in all sorts of weather, wearing this graffiti. Our hearts have been vandalized by words that we have heard, going with us wherever we go, and these words have stuck.

We are damaged with messages like, you are not a priority. You are not valued. You are stupid. You are too slow. You are not smart enough. You are ugly. Your feet are too big. Your nose is crooked. Your family is poor. Your hair is funny. You don’t have anything to offer. You are a looser. You are not gifted. You are not worth my time. You are different. You are not special. You are not worth loving.

The truth is, however, that the valuable cargo that the train carries is not at all determined by what is said by the graffiti on the outside of the car. And so it is with us, dear reader. We have these messages – these lies – put upon us either by the words or actions of others that are not true and they do not define who we are. They do not reflect who we are. They are ugly marks of graffiti.

Who we are inside is what matters. Sometimes we forget and believe the lies that others have placed upon us, but God does not forget. God knows who we are. He made us. He loves us, with an everlasting, never-stopping, always seeking, never-abandoning love. We are a priority to God. He has a plan for our lives and lovely things for us. He wants us to believe what He says about us, not what others say. We are valuable to Him. We are His treasured possession (Deuteronomy 7:6).

Take time today and ask the Lord to help you face the graffiti that is written on your heart and ask Him to show you who you really are. God knows the precious cargo that you are, He created you, and He desires to write new words of truth on your heart. There are those who may vandalize and disrespect you, but God wants to revitalize you. Listen to Him, dearest reader, and believe in His tender love for you.

... And Set Free

“Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever. In my anguish I cried to the Lord, and he answered by setting me free” (Psalm 118:1,5).

Yesterday morning I woke up and witnessed the miraculous emergence of the Monarch butterfly from the chrysalis that my daughter and I had “rescued” the previous day. We now celebrated its full life as it unfolded its wings, stretched and eventually flew free. It may have been just one butterfly that we saved to beautify the world, but it was a powerful reminder to me of God’s rescuing power and His desire to set us free, because of His great love for us.

At times, in our anguish we cry out to the Lord, and He reaches down and takes hold of us, and sets us free – free from our sin, from our anger, from discouragement, from fears, from selfishness, from frustrations, from captivity and more.

As the butterfly flew away, I was reminded of the many times when I have called out to the Lord, in need of His power in my own life. Dear reader, if you are struggling, call out to Him and He will answer you. He will set you free to bring the beauty of His love to the world around you, a hurting world that needs to know the love of Jesus, in a way that only you can share. Soar and bring glory to Him, by sharing your story of His freeing love. And as you go, do not forget to give thanks to the Lord, for He truly is good, and His love for you endures forever.

Rescued ...

Unexpectedly, we found the chrysalis that was attached to a thin branch of milkweed (usually they attach to the grate at the top of the container) laying on the bottom of our butterfly habitat. Clinging to the remnant of the branch that stuck out of the cup was a big, fat Monarch caterpillar. It had eaten the branch, resulting in the downward demise of this chrysalis that was in the process of changing and preparing to emerge as a butterfly.

Every summer for the past 10 years, the children and I search for Monarch caterpillars and raise them until they are butterflies, tending to their insatiable need for milkweed by providing a fresh supply every day. It is a beautiful process from baby caterpillar (sometimes even from egg) to mature butterfly. Once the butterfly emerges, we set it free and enjoy its beauty.

But what was to become of this budding butterfly? It's tender chrysalis lay helpless and detached on the floor of the habitat. My oldest daughter and I decided we would swoop in for the rescue. She gently removed the chrysalis, holding on to the thin branch, and I tied on a piece of sewing thread, securing it to the top of the cage. There it has hung, waiting to have life. Today we can see the orange and black wings beginning to appear inside. It looks as if the rescue attempt has been successful.

Sometimes when we are in the process of changing and emerging on our journey with the Lord, something happens that throws us off. Either from fears within or difficult circumstances from without, we find ourselves falling to the ground. We can believe lies that we learned along the bumpy road of life or we are affected by outside situations that hurt our hearts. These are "enemies" that besiege us and challenge us as we seek the Lord and desire to be more like Him.

Like the Psalmist we may cry out "Rescue me from my enemies, O Lord, for I hide myself in you" (Psalm 143:9). For whatever reasons, and I am sure, dear reader there are many, we may feel that we are in need of rescuing. We know that we cannot do it on our own, at all. We cannot even pick ourselves up and go on, just like this little chrysalis. To me, God's rescuing power is mysterious. Sometimes I doubt it, and certainly sometimes, I do not even see it. I think that God is far off and rather, He is near. I think that He has chosen not to answer me or ignore my cries, but then I learn later that He has indeed rescued me from something that I would have never imagined.

The big old caterpillar came and ate the branch in which the chrysalis clung, and the chrysalis lost its place and security. Sometimes that happens to us as well. We are in the midst of being transformed and growing, and we are cut off by something unexpected. Call out to the Lord and seek His way. He is faithful to reach down, grab hold of you and secure you to a place where you will continue to grow, being transformed in to the beautiful being that He intends for you to be.

Recombobulation Needed

Preparing to go through security at the airport, I unpacked my lap-top, took off my jacket, slipped off my shoes, placed my personal bag, my purse and my computer bag in the bins (four in all) and pushed them through the x-ray machine. I walked through the scanner and then gathered up everything on the other side. Seems to me, no matter how efficient and organized one tries to be, on the “other side” there is always chaos.

After gathering my items, and feeling more like a pack horse than a traveler, I looked up and saw a sign hanging from the ceiling “RECOMBOBULATION AREA.”

I laughed (and stopped to write it down. I dared not forget this silly yet accurately descriptive term). I could feel the chaos of bags and coats and shoes, just saying the word. “Recombobulation.” (My spell check says that it is not even a word!)

Sometimes, on this earthly journey I feel discombobulated. My emotions and my thoughts are here and there and everywhere. It is a challenge to stay organized and on task. I may not look like a pack horse, but I feel as if I am carrying the weight of the world, and then some, on my back.

I am in need of a “recombobulation” area in my life, but what does that look like? It is “self-care.” It is stopping and stepping out of the chaos and trying to figure out what brings you refreshment and rest, and even joy.

When you are overwhelmed, it is important to take time to take care of yourself. It is not selfish (unless, of course you take it to an extreme) but it is healthy. Ask yourself, “What do I need right now to help me slow down, gain perspective and rejuvenate?” Maybe it is a walk, or a run, or lunch with friend. Maybe it is a pedicure or a haircut. Maybe it is a nap or reading a book. Maybe it is watering flowers, snowshoeing, painting or playing a musical instrument. Maybe it is sitting on resting in the Lord and His tender care for you.

Dear reader, it is hard to self-care, especially when we are caring for others, like our children, but it is essential. We will be better women when we learn to slow down and take care of ourselves. If you are having a hard time figuring out what it is, ask the Lord to show you. He made you and He knows just what you need. When we find time to rest and restore it helps us to have perspective, and I believe that helps “recombobulate” some of the chaos and confusion in our lives. I hope you find it helpful, too.

Delays?

I sat in the Nashville airport preparing to return home - physically, emotionally and mentally. I said my good-byes, had my coffee, bought trinkets for the children and sat down to wait for the departure of my flight.

The departure time came and went and there was no sign of my plane. There was no explanation for why, or even an indication for when. I sat. I waited. I wondered.

Finally, an announcement was made for a gate change, but no indication of when and why. I overheard from others that there were storms in Chicago. I hoped that we could just fly over those, and not be delayed. I was also eager to get home and get on with life.

“Why do storms have to delay my plans?” I muttered. “And why are they not announcing the departure time changes or the reason for delay?”

I quickly realized why my frustration and irritation were mounting. It paralleled my life. Why do storms, either my own or other people’s, have to delay my plans? And why wasn't I being informed of the delay, or told what the delay was all about? All as if I had a right to know.

I took a deep breath. OK, I may not have known the reason for the delay, but I would attempt to wait with a “happy heart” (that’s what I ask my children to find when they are grumbling or discontent) and make the best of it.

Delays are annoying and often misunderstood. We don’t like them. They frustrate us and sometimes even confuse us. They feel like a waste of time. When they occur amidst our own crisis (and growth) it can be filled with teeth gritting tension and headaches, not to mention, temptations to question “Is God really at work in my life? What is the hold up and what is He up to?”

Hebrews 10:35-38 says, “So, do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised. For in just a very little while, ‘He who is coming will come and will not delay. But my righteous one will live by faith. And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased.’”

Dear reader, do you feel like you are being delayed on your journey? Do you feel like God’s work is on hold in your life? Are you confused, frustrated, irritated, or weary of waiting and wondering?

Do not give up. Do not throw away your confidence in the One who has a perfect plan for your life, and who is even using these delays to prepare you for what He has for you. Persevere. You may not know or understand what God is doing, but He is at work. He promised.

I am writing this while in the air. We finally did get off the ground. We are making our way around the storm. The plane is rocking and rolling at times, but I am homeward bound. This too, gives me hope. Whether in the storm, delayed by the storm or skirting around the storm, my hope is in Jesus, who is coming and will not delay, and then all will make sense. I may not have an official announcement telling me when and why the delays are now, but someday I will know.

"The Man in the Arena"

I am writing this from one of my favorite places on earth, where I am staying with my dear friend and her family - Nashville, Tennessee. They are all special to me, and this is a special place to me as much of my growth and God's grace have mingled together in this city.

Yesterday, I was heading out the door to share part of my story in a "new"setting and I was a bit nervous (ok, alot nervous, but it is good to be so sometimes. It keeps me humble.) My friends' 13 year old son, Andrew, was teasing me.

"Don't let the critics get you down!" he mused, as I was getting in to the car to leave.

"Thanks, alot, Andrew, for the encouragement" I teased back, but feeling the lump in my throat grow exponentially.

Then his mother asked him to recite to me a part of a speech that he had memorized months earlier. I thought it may encourage some of my readers. It did me. It is a quote from Theodore Roosevelt, given in a speech in 1910, in Paris.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."

Dear reader, do you find yourself feeling as if you have stepped in to an arena, or are being called to do so? Maybe it's the arena of trial and suffering that you are walking valiantly in, trusting God verses cowering in fear. Maybe you are soon to be entering an arena that the Lord has called you to step in to - a job, a ministry, a calling, an opportunity to share your story.

The arena can be a vulnerable place, a dirty place where our faces may feel as if they are marred with dust and sweat and tears, an intense place. It is here, often in this place where our character grows, our integrity is defined, our faith is strengthened and the Lord seen clearer.

The arena is a place where we enter with courage, trust in the Lord's provision and fight with great tenacity. It is a place that we can live a very full life regardless of whether we experience victory or defeat. It is a battle well worth it.

Time and Truth

My ten year old son held out his hand. A trace of blood mixed with lake water ran down the side of his palm.

“Mom, I scratched my hand on a stick, under water and it really hurts.”

I applied pressure with my thumb, and we stood in the sun with the water lapping at our knees. Within minutes, I released my thumb and the bleeding had stopped.

“Should I put a band-aid on it? Maybe it would help to keep it from bleeding” he asked.

“Sure, I think you could do that. Band-aids help protect the surface" I answered.

“But they don’t really help with the healing, do they Mom? Only God can make a wound heal.”

I've replayed this picture over and over again in my mind over the past day. His sweet, dear face looking up at me, offering me his hand, trusting me, and perhaps most of all, his speaking profound words of truth. “Only God can make a wound heal.”

Psalm 147:3 says “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

Healing a broken heart, a wounded soul, a crushed spirit, how does God do such intricate work? I am certain that I will never totally understand the mystery behind the healing touch of God, but I am also as certain that it is possible. There are no formulas, quick fixes or self-help tactics, of course. Each one of our circumstances is different and only God holds the special balm for each wound, and He is the only One who can apply it.

I do believe, however, that God uses time and truth as part of His healing remedy. He combines the amount of time that He knows is needed with His truths. God uses His truth to expose the truth in our own hearts, whether it be our own sin or the value of our worth, as well as the truth of our circumstances. He is faithful to show us truth if we seek Him, and then it is our choice to believe the truth.

Oh, how I wish that a simple solution, like a band-aid would work, but it does not. It may protect some, and God does certainly use things in our lives to provide comfort and protection. But healing? Only He has control over time and truth. Only He knows the right amount of both, and only He can dispense it. Dear reader, reach out and hand God your heart today and trust Him to heal it. He is faithful.

Road Trip

The children and I took a road trip this past week, thus why there has been a hiatus in my entries. We had a wonderful time together, and I arrived home realizing the great value of spending many hours in a 6 foot by 12 foot Suburban. Upon our return trip, I commented to my thirteen year old daughter that I had hoped to have more inspirational moments to write about on our trip. She responded, “Mom, maybe God just wanted you to have fun and relax.” How wise and wonderful of her to notice.

I then asked the children if they had any inspirations from the trip, and this is what they shared. Some are common (some are silly), but I love what came from their hearts.

1. You don’t have to have to go on fancy trips to have fun. This road trip, although not packed with roller coaster rides and playful characters, was touted to be the best ever – better than the time we went to Disney World, even.
2. Things don’t make you happy. Being with your family makes you happy.
3. Root bear and chocolate fudge can make you really sick to your stomach.
4. On road trips, you can stop when you want and check out new things.
5. One learns a lot of patience driving long distances and living in close quarters, but it does make for closer relationships.
6. Trying out new things, like exploring underground caves, does not have to be scary, it can actually be exciting.
7. Just because something looks run down on the outside, it does not mean it is in the inside. (This was noted after we pulled up to our hotel in an old historic area. The kids said, almost in unison, “Are you sure about this, Mom?” Later that day, they thought the hotel was the coolest one they had ever been in – it was old, historic, had a “real” key and didn’t even have a pool!)
8. You shouldn't rush on a road trip, because you may miss special treasures along the way.
9. Old fashioned toys are a lot of fun.
10. If you miss an exit, you can still get back on the right road if you listen to the GPS or read a map.

After arriving home, unpacking, catching up on sleep, doing laundry and trying to get back in to life, I began to think about the road trip I’ve been on lately, traveling this trial. Sometimes, I’d like to just fly to the destination, but I am learning that traveling along, following God’s lead, enjoying the scenery along the way has great value. There are bumps in the road, detours, and changes in plans, but He is always ready and able to show us the way or get us back on course, even when we get off at the wrong exit. If we hurry through it, we do miss special treasures that He has for us – sometimes they are lessons about Him or ourselves learned in difficult situations, and sometimes they are gifts given by Him for our enjoyment. The world may call us to things, but God calls us to each other and to Himself; this is critical. We have a choice. And lastly, sometimes we are asked by God to do something that we have not done before. This requires a lot of faith, but the outcome is often surprisingly amazing.

I guess there were a few things that I learned from God, via my children. However, perhaps the most valued lessons I learned is that even amidst a time of great trial, God does give us moments of enjoyment, when we can just sit back and allow His love for us, to shower over us. Psalm 31:21 says, “He showed His wonderful love to me.” Yes, it is true. He did on a road trip that I will never forget. Dear reader, look for opportunities to enjoy the delight of His love, no matter where you are.

"Please Wait"

In the wet and wonder of a water park, my daughter signaled to my friend to bend down. “My mom is read-icted to the bible” she whispered in her ear.

“What did you say?” my friend asked, uncertain if she understood. “My mom is read-icted to the bible.”

My friend shared this story with me later that day. We giggled about it. Not addicted to the bible, but read-icted. Very clever. Mostly, I was surprised and delighted that this was what my daughter thought about me and felt like she needed to share with my friend.

Later that week, in a moment of solitude, my daughter announced to me that now she was “addicted” to prayer. She said that she prayed all the time, and in fact, I noticed her stopping frequently during the day, closing her eyes and whispering prayers heavenward. She prays simple prayers. Desiring prayers. Needful prayers. Sweet prayers. She prays for rain, and for rain to stop. She prays for letters in the mail and for blueberries at the store. She prays for safety when we are in the car and she prays for others to be happy.

This morning she was playing the computer while I was having my quiet time and reading my bible. I noticed that she was hanging upside down off the couch, head hung low, and whispering.

“What are you doing, dear?” I asked.

“Praying. I’m praying that the “please wait” sign would be gone so I can play the program I want to play. I am praying that God would hurry it up so I would not have to wait” she said, with a smile. “I like to pray for everything. Oh. There it goes. It doesn’t say “please wait” anymore. It’s ready for me!”

I smiled. I had prayed a prayer or two (or hundred) for the “please wait” sign to be removed, too. But, unlike the quick answer to prayer that my daughter experienced, God is still asking me to wait. His answer to my prayer remains, “Not yet. Please wait … still.”

Lamentations 3:25-26 says, “The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.”

Dear reader, perhaps God has you in a waiting period -- waiting to see what He has planned for you and/or waiting for what you are to do. Wait quietly. Wait confidently. Wait with great strength, for waiting is not weakness. Wait with hope. And while you wait, pray and seek Him, diligently, trusting Him for the plans He has for you, for He is good to those whose hope is in Him and He will deliver you.

A "Swimming Lessons" Lesson

I heard the enthusiastic swim instructor's voice bounce off the water, “Now we are going to work on our Elementary Back Stroke.”

I did not need to hear my youngest daughter’s voice. Her face and body language said it all. Across the pool, I could distinguish tears from pool water, running down her face. Her brow was furrowed, her shoulders hunched and her hands cupped and lifted up out the water. She was sure to be saying “But I don’t know how to do that stroke!”

The instructor, with a tender smile and a hug, gently plucked her out of the pool and placed her on the rim. She demonstrated to my daughter how to move her arms and legs. My daughter’s strain melted into a smile, as she jumped in to the pool to try it for herself, and all was well again in Level 3 swim lessons at our local pool.

I don’t know about you, but I can relate to how my daughter felt. I’m going along, listening to the Lord, working on whatever He has for me for the moment, and then I find myself up against something that I have no idea how to handle. I cry out “Help! But I don’t know how to do this new challenge!” There are challenges like holding on to a slippery hope, or speaking the truth even when the other person is not willing to listen, or believing that God has a future for me, when it seems as if all looks like a murky abyss, or dealing with memories that had been put aside, only to now, again rear their heinous head.

“Help, God! I don’t know how to do this one! I've been working hard on these other issues, but I wasn’t expecting this one, and now what do I do!”

And then with the gentleness that only God possesses, He lifts us up and sets us down, and begins to teach us the way in which we can handle the challenge before us. When we seek Him, we will find the way, and He will show us. This I know to be true. It is part of my story with God that I can attest to, but when I am caught off guard, I have to stop and even remind myself.

My two older kids are at camp this week. I was trying to memorize the verse that they were working on yesterday, when I witnessed this little interaction with my daughter and her swim instructor – evidence of God at work, again.

Jeremiah 6:16 says, (when you don’t know what to do …) “This is what the Lord says: ‘Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls.”

Dear reader, are you at a crossroads? Have you come upon a time of choice and decision? Are you faced with a new dilemma or a reminder of an old one that you need to process through and deal with? This is what the Lord says, seek Him. Seek Him in prayer. Seek Him through His Word, the Bible. Seek Him through the wisdom of those who also love Him. Stand and look around and ask Him to show you the path of truth that you are to walk in. His path is the “tried and true” way. It is the good way.

God will show you, and when He does, He asks us to walk in the way that He reveals to us. It was scary for my daughter to have to jump back in the water and try the “new” stroke that her teacher taught her. It can be scary for us to step out and do what God is asking us to do as well, but He is faithful and it is in seeking and obeying Him that we will find rest for our souls. That’s a promise.

God's Perspective and Peace

I walked along the path in a favorite serene spot of mine. Many memories came to life in my mind. It is a beautiful place of peace for me but it is peppered with points of pain. I chatted for few moments with my elderly neighbor lady. She is dealing with a multitude of medical problems as well as the reality of recently being widowed, but her demure yet strong spirit was evident when she spoke. She shared the latest news about the neighbors, catching me up on their happenings -- some happier than others.

"We all have our things we must deal with," she said softly. I agreed, and then we parted. I left thinking about portions of my pain, and the peace that I so desired, from the Lord.

I thought alot about living in the tension between our pain and peace. What do we do when a place of peace becomes a place of pain -- either partially or fully? It may be a physical location or a space in our hearts, where peace had resided, but pain has now taken up residence. How does God come in and begin to change our pain?

I believe by faith, and some by experience, that God does so by giving us perspective about Himself, ourselves, and our situation. God takes our places of pain and and gives us peace amidst them, by giving us His perspective. It may not mean that our pain will disappear. There are life long griefs that are carried -- the loss of a loved one, wounds from the past, serious medical illnesses, betrayal, abandonment, abuse.

However, dear reader, God comes in and takes hold of our face, between His powerful yet gentle hands and asks us to look at Him, only at Him and receive the peace He has for us. He shows us Who He is, how much He loves us, and what we need to know about the plans that He has for us.

In John 16:33 Jesus says, "In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." Many of us would not deny that there is trouble. Spending time with my neighbor shed light on only a few of the burdens that people are enduring, but Jesus reassures us. He has overcome these troubles in this world. Our suffering is not uncommon to man, nor to Jesus, who is acquainted with our grief, and yet Whom is also the balm for our sorrow. We can take heart and have hope.

I don't know if I will ever fully understand it, this side of heaven. God offers us His perspective, amidst our pain. It is here that we see Him clearer, feel His presence nearer and love Him dearer. Take heart, dear reader. God is doing something amidst your pain, and when you trust in Him in the process, He will give you peace, for He Himself is our peace (Ephesians 2:14).

A "Ministry of Confrontation?"

In the previous Post I spoke of speaking the truth in love. That comes from Ephesians 4:15, and although it is for the recipients benefit, it is for ours as we grow in maturity.

But how do we do that? I jokingly said to a friend of mine the other day, "Ugh. I hope that God is not growing in me the "ministry of confrontation" (if there is one) -- I am sure getting a lot of training time in this arena, and I am getting worn out!"

I am sure we have all said it -- "I just don't like confrontation. I am not a confrontational person," and usually we use that as an excuse to not do it. Now, I am also sure that we would agree that some people must like it, or at least they seem to eek out of it some sort of self-satisfaction, or relief at the very least, but I am not sure these people are doing it in love. The truth is, it is hard for most of us to have to confront at all, especially in love. It is a vulnerable and daunting place to be. A humble place to be. A scary place to be.

Despite these feelings, we are called to live in the truth, share the truth and expose the truth. However, in order to do this we must first be willing to wade through the murky waters of our own sin to arrive at a place of presenting the truth -- to step out humbly, aware of our own frailty and dirt. We must be gentle, not vindictive. We must seek God for when to share, how to share and what to share. We must be bold. We must be willing to listen to the other person and hear what they have to say. We must be wise, and we must understand that allowing them to continue in their sin is not loving them, and in fact, may be aiding them. Confronting in love may be a place of holy ground.

A dear, wise friend of mine shared with me this past week a saying that she had heard about sin. I was preparing to confront someone in love over their sin and the effects that it had on me. She said, and I paraphrase, "Sin takes you further than you want to go, makes you stay longer than you want to stay and costs you more than you want to pay."

Dear reader, the "ministry of confrontation?" I don't know, maybe it is more like a "ministry of grace" as we step out in to the truth and help to disrupt the twisted, far reaching entrenched effects of sin. Maybe we must pay a price and take a risk, so that they will not. Do so in love. Do so boldly. Do so humbly. Do so gently.

Ephesians 4:15 says that in "speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into Him who is the Head, that is, Christ." Be encouraged, God uses our willingness to step out in obedience and speak the truth in love as a means to grow us in maturity, making us more like Jesus, and that is a humbling to me.

Living in the Light and Loving Well

It seems as if I am having a run on burnt out light bulbs around my house. In my kitchen alone I have 4 out. I keep intending to go down to the basement and hunt for new light bulbs, but I get distracted and don’t. One by one, the light bulbs burn out, and my kitchen is getting darker and darker. Even the light in my bathroom is burnt out, and we are (strangely) showering in the dark. We need some light around here. I need to change those light bulbs so that we can see what we are doing, at least more clearly!

As I thought about needing to increase the light around our house, I thought about living in the light in life. We need to live in the light, in order to see what is going on around us and in us. We need to live in the light of God’s love, Jesus, so that we can, in turn, love well.

“Loving well” – what does it mean? How do we do it? I am challenged by the whole concept. It is complicated. It requires a great amount of strength and a great amount of patient perseverance. It requires the grace of God. It requires wisdom and a willingness to live in the Light. It requires work.

How to “love well” in difficult times is on my mind right now. When do we withhold an answer and when do we speak? When do we turn the other cheek and when do we share the truth? When do we address an issue and when do we not throw pearls before swine (Matthew 7:6)? How do we live fully in the light, when there is so much darkness around?

Ephesians 5:8-15 says “Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord. Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them ... everything exposed by the light becomes visible, for it is light that makes everything visible. Be very careful, then, how you live – not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.”

Whew. That’s a lot, but it encourages me and strengthens me. To live and love well I need to remember that I am a child of the light. Everything is exposed by the light of God’s truth. We need to spend time with the Lord to know the truth, and then to have the wisdom and strength to expose the truth. We are to be careful and wise. These are desperate times. People can be deep in denial about themselves or their situations out of fear, or they are choosing to walk in their own way, away from God. The truth is not revered. In contrast, it is ignored. However, to live in the truth – in the light – is to “love well" and God calls us to love.

Dear reader, perhaps you are at a point today when you need to step out in to the light and live in the truth about yourself and your life. Maybe you need to confess and repent. Maybe you need to confront someone else. Maybe you need to stand up for yourself, find your voice, and speak difficult words, in love. Seek the Lord your God with all of your heart, mind and soul and ask Him what His will is for you. It can be very difficult. I would rather not do the challenging work (I can tend to put it off, like changing light bulbs, but even worse), but I also know that it is well worth it. Trust the Lord. He will give you the strength that you need for today to do what He has you to do, in the light of His love.

Walking With God Out of the Valley

The other day, I stood at the base of a path of stone steps, looking up. The flat, irregular steps are nestled between large boulders. They are in a place that is special to me; sweet memories occupy this place, and some difficult ones, as well. And here God again showed me what I needed to see.

Walking with God up and out of the valley requires a great amount of trust, but He is our guide, showing us the way. When we choose to trust Him and rely on Him, He directs our steps. Step by step, word by word, circumstance by circumstance, He shows us the way in which we are to walk. In this wilderness valley, He is our constant companion. He knows the way and He is the Perfect Protector. We need not fear. The way in which we walk, however, will be unlike any way that we could have dreamed. It is His way, and it is full of life and blessing beyond our imaginations, even when we can not see the next step. Even when it seems as if all is loss, and there is no gain.

He makes our steps firm and He provides us with balance to walk up these steep stone steps. He may take us in one direction, and then another, but always it is He who is marking our path. On the journey, sometimes it seems as if He brings us along a traversing way, however, it is only because on that path there is something that He wants us to see or learn. No step is wasted with God. If the slope becomes slippery, it may be to remind us to grab hold of His hand. When it is dark, it is for us to trust more in the power of His Light. He knows what we need to climb out of the valley. He packs the essentials for our trip, and then gives us them when we need them.

Dear reader, what valley are you desiring or needing to climb out of right now? Is it abuse? Heartache? Rejection? Betrayal? Sorrow? God is ready to take your hand, and direct your paths. His truth is our guide, His Word is the light unto our path (Psalm 119:105) and His power is our strength. To make our way up and out of a time of great trial is only possible with Him; our only hope is in God -- He is sovereign and He is good.

Psalm 25:4-6 says, "Show me your ways, O Lord, teach my your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. Remember, O Lord, your great mercy and love for they are from of old."

Perhaps your circumstances seem like a mountain side of large, impassable boulders, too big to climb over or around. Perhaps it seems as if it will take too much energy, too much trust, too much work, too much everything to make it out of the pit or the valley. Call out to God and He will show you the way; He will set a path. Trust in the Lord, dear reader. He loves you so very much and is waiting to take your hand. If you are holding on to Him already, persevere. Do not look down or back. Persevere patiently and keep your eyes fixed on Him. Be mindful of Him. Serve and love Him with all of your heart. Commit your way to Him. Trust in Him. Believe in His love for you. He is faithful to strengthen your steps, hold your hand, and give you the sight you need to take the next step with Him.

In His Time

Sometimes, if not often times, it is hard to see how God is orchestrating our lives. Unexpected circumstances blow in and blow down our dreams. Yet, there is a part of us, perhaps even just a flicker that hopes and looks toward God, desiring and believing that He is doing something good in the midst of such uncertainty or calamity.

I purchased a quart of strawberries the other day. As I began to wash them, I realized that a small unripe strawberry was mixed in with the other red ripe ones. That little strawberry caught my attention. I have portions of me that are like that small green strawberry. I have fruit in my life that is fruit, but it is not ripe.

I yearn for it to be ripe. I feel as if I have waited and waited for it to be ripe, as I continue to abide in Jesus and hold to the Vine. And yet, it still is not ready for what God created it to be and I can get frustrated.

You see, the little strawberry is as much of a strawberry as the big red ripe ones are, it just is not ready to serve its purpose. It is not flavorful, nor is it nourishing. It is young and needs more time to grow.

I think sometimes I want to get ahead of God (not that it is possible) and I want to do things for God that clearly I am not ready for. He still has work to do in my life to make the fruit that He has produced in me perfectly ripe for the work that He has for me to do. Until the ripening has been complete, the fruit in my life, although fruit, is not ready.

When I am feeling discouraged, wanting all of this trial and suffering to have some positive and purposeful result, I must remember that just because I do not see it ripe, it does not mean that it will not be. My job is to continue to wait on the Lord. He knows what gifts and strengths that I have that are to be for His work.

Truth is, dear reader, sometimes I can trust God for the big picture, but I am lousy at trusting Him for the day to day. I am convinced that He has a plan and a purpose for my future (Jeremiah 29:11), but I forget that He also has a plan for today. I want to be ripe, and in that I miss the joys and the workings of God in the process. Even in today, God is at work. He is not just focused on the "big picture" but on the minutest of details. And each detail in today is growing us and ripening us for the specific work that He has for us to do, that which only we can do for Him. Remembering that encourages me and keeps me focused on God, not on whether my fruit is small and green or ripe and ready.

Q 4 U -- Authenticity

Ithought I would try something different -- a Q 4 U -- Question for You -- Series. When I write, I often wonder what other people's thoughts are on a matter. We all view the world differently based on our life experiences and even how God is working in our lives. Intermittently, I hope to present a word or a thought to see what insight or struggles people have about a particular subject.

One of my random ramblings on my last post was, "People crave authenticity." I am in the process of writing an article on authenticity; it is something I often think about. I have some ideas that I would like to share, but would love to get your input first. So, if you are willing to speak ...

What does being authentic mean to you? What does it look like, lived out?

Please leave a comment below or e-mail me at andreak54me@gmail.com I am eager to hear your thoughts on this. Thanks for helping me out!