"Therefore
… let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily
entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.”
(Hebrews 12:1).
I fanned
open my bible to Hebrews 12 and read the verse. It is a familiar one to me. I’ve read it, leaned
on it and had often done so.
Right
before the race (Urbanathlon Chicago 2011) (click to see the course -- 10 miles and 7 urban obstacles through the city of Chicago) I tucked it away in my in my mind.
The thing is, I knew that I needed it.
The
race set before me that day was a physical one. I trained. I ran. I applied
BioFreeze to my sore muscles and foam rolled tight muscles frequently. I was ready, physically, but it was the
negative self-talk that was weighing me down.
I
have issues with this problem, not just when I run a race, but
in life. Like cockroaches in the dark,
words of negativity about myself scurry around, creeping me out and keeping me
back.
Words
like …
You’ll
never finish.
You’re
not strong enough.Who do you think you are?
Why
do you even bother trying?
You’re
just going to disappoint yourself – and worse, yet, others.
I
don’t know where they come from or how they get in, but suddenly, there they
are. Like I said, creepy.
So,
as I worked up to and stepped up to the starting line a couple of weeks ago, I
clung to this verse.
Throw
off everything that hinders – all the NEGATIVE SELF TALK – and run the race
marked out for you.
I’m
still reliving some of the moments of the race, and still smiling.
My
goal was to finish the race – finish the race with a smile on my face for my
kids – and I did.
That's me in the middle, getting a boost from below, over the last obstacle -- the 8 foot wall. |
Over a police barricade near the beginning of the race. I was still feeling fresh ... |
That's me in the lime green, getting ready to crawl over the bus. |
I'm making my way through the mud, and over a taxi ... |
AND
I had fun. I ran with courage and strength, determined to do my best. I persevered
and stepped on a few cockroaches of negative self-talk along the way (can you
hear the crunch? I know – gross!), as I climbed over police barricades, slopped through mud and made my way over a city bus and taxi cabs. I enjoyed the scenery and I enjoyed the
people that I chatted with along the way.
It was good. God is good for
continually teaching me, transforming me in all things.
I finished, and I’m proud of myself for taking on the challenge and conquering the
race, but maybe even more so, overcoming the obstacle of my negative self-talk and facing my fears.
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