A Much Needed Fresh Look on Love

This morning I woke up and, having forgotten the night before that it was going to be Valentine’s Day, I quickly gathered up some red and pink decorations and tried to present a bit of “visual” love on the counter for breakfast.  Skipping a shower, due to lack of time,  I mixed up my grandmother’s famous Kaiserschmaren recipe (the equivalent to chopped up pancake in a pan – an old German recipe), and tried to make the morning memorable. I signed notebooks. Made lunches.  Pressed clothes. Helped console a child who forgot to write out a few Valentine’s. Hustled kids to school, and even turned around once to go back home, as someone fell and soaked their pants through with mud.

I’m trying to love in tangible ways; I try to do so every day, but today with love on my mind I’m trying to be even more intentional. AND I’m trying to look at real love – again – because, I forget.  I get busy. I get tired. I get snirky.  I don’t always love well.  I don't like that I do this.

How about you?

I realized this morning, I need a fresh look on love. I can pull out some decorations and make a fun breakfast, but I need a reminder about a love that goes deeper than that. It’s easy to love the things we love, when all is fair and good, but God calls us to love – at all times.  Not always an easy thing to do, but always the right and good thing to do.

The famous love chapter in the Bible, 1 Corinthians 13 (vs. 4 – 8, 12-13) helps us to remember what it looks like to love God’s way. I pulled the paraphrase of the Bible, the Message, off my shelf and read through it. I’m glad I did. 

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

Love never dies. We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!

But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.

I don’t know about you, but I needed this reminder today -- everyday. I want to love God’s way. 

Praying the same for you, dear reader.

Dear Lord,

Thank you that You are love and that we can learn to love Your way, by learning of You and seeing how You love us.  Help us to be lovers of You and lovers of others.  Even when it is not easy to love, help us to not give up hope, but to persevere, extending grace and forgiveness and always trusting You in all things.  Help us to stop today and remember that You lavished Your love on us, and help us to love others in return.

In Jesus name I pray.  Amen

Hooked by Criticism

I felt the sharp point pierce my skin and then dig deeper still. My stomach sank to my feet and my head began to spin silently, as the barbed hook of criticism (the non-construtive sort) lodged itself in to my heart. It wasn’t that it was a very big hook, it just was that it hit me in a tender spot and triggered a pain that rippled through out my body. Critical words, whether big or small, direct or indirect, hurt.

Regretfully, as much as I have experienced the pointed jab of criticism, I have cast the hooked line myself and injured others. I hate that. It humbles me. It makes me sad.

I don’t know why we do it. Part of our sinful humanness, I guess. Perhaps it’s to prove to ourselves that we are “okay.” We fear being inadequate and so we try to elevate ourselves by injuring others. It’s been said that “hurt people hurt people.” I think that is true. Or maybe our words are a flowing over of years of fermenting bitterness or a reenactment of what we experienced somewhere in our past. I’m sure there are a million reasons. I wish I understood it better, both for my protection on the receiving and delivering end.

Thinking back to when I was working as a PA, I recalled that when a person came in to the office with a fish hook in their finger the procedure to remove it would be to continue to push the hook through. Pulling it back out through the direction from which it came, was difficult and even more painful. Following the arch of the hook and moving the point forward, until the hook was out, was the best way to remove it.

So, I’ve been pushing through and working out a hook over the past couple of days. The gentle hand of God is helping me. I’m trying to use His truths about Himself, about me and about His plan for me, to help wiggle the criticism out. I am feeling more at peace, and learning to depend on Him more, in new ways. He is releasing me, slowly but surely, from the injurious effects, and also gently reminding me of the pain that my own barbed words of criticism can cause. In the end, I now see how He is taking this time to further grow me and change me. Again.

Dear Lord, Thank you for your faithfulness in helping us in all circumstances. When we are hurt by others, please help us to see the truth and trust you for all things in the process. Help us to be sensitive to where others are, to watch our words, to encourage and build up rather than discourage and tear apart. If we have hurt others, help us to be bold to seek forgiveness and seek to restore the relationship. Thank you for being gracious and merciful to us. Amen

A Fashion Faux Pas

Yuck! I hate being human sometimes. It is the “making mistakes” part that gets old, wouldn’t you say?

I mean, try as we will to do what is right, we just can’t help ourselves. Time and time again, we mess up. Sometimes, it’s just a bit more public than others. That’s what happened to me the other day. So, at the expense of being authentic – I’m hanging out some dirty laundry.

I put on the piece of clothing without even realizing it was within my reach. It didn’t fit nor was it my color, but I wore it anyway and its name was “unkindness with a hint of gossip.” I knew it right away, but I tried to minimize it, rationalize it and even deny it. However, as the hours went by and I increasingly regretted my doing what I did, the clothing began to feel like shrink wrap on my skin, suffocating me of my joy.

I couldn’t shake it off; I needed help. I asked the Lord to forgive me, which I believe He did, but I woke up the next morning with the sense that there was more that needed to be done. Now, I could have stuffed the unwanted piece of clothing in the closet, but I know from years of dirty laundry experience, it would just begin to rot and smell over time. Dirty laundry does not get clean on its own (unfortunately, as I am working through eight loads in this household, today). In addition, I did not want my friends to remember me wearing this unsightly piece of clothing, but the beautiful dress of humility.

I called them up, explained and apologized. They were gracious, of course, and forgave me, just as I anticipated. They said that it was not a big deal and we all make mistakes; I appreciate that, but I needed them to know that I was wrong and I cared enough to say, “I’m sorry.”

Gossip and unkind words (no matter how big or small) are very destructive. They hurt others. They hurt God. They hurt us, as individuals. They distort our ability to love each other and be sensitive to each other’s needs. They are filthy, ugly rags.

What about you? Are you tempted to wear the garment of gossip? If so, STOP. Don’t do it, it is definitely “what not to wear” -- a fashion faux pas. Rather, slip on a garment of grace. Encourage one another, be sensitive to where people have been and are now. In grace, build up rather than tear down. Be assured, a garment of grace is more attractive to wear, fits well and always comes in your perfect color.