The Little Girl Within -- A Little Girl Grows Up

Curiosity and wonder come naturally to a child, but sometimes as we grow older, "life" seems to dampen this gift ... but there is hope.  Today, Judi shares a bit of her story.

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            As a little girl living in an apartment building in the city, I found many wonders to behold for a child’s eye.  Surrounded mostly by concrete and tar, with only occasional patches of greenery, I could still find fascination around me. 

            The one bedroom apartment was small for a family of four, but the kitchen window offered a wondrous view of dust particles sparkling in a ray of sunshine or at night the neon signs flashing on and off at nearby businesses.  Equally fascinating, the sweet smell of the spring rain, how on the hottest days of summer the tar in the streets would bubble up, the beautiful colored leaves of fall, or heavy snowfalls in the winter that meant fun rather than school. 

            However, as time passed, childish wonder in my life was crushed and buried under the weight of the emotional pain of a dysfunctional family.  Little by little fascination fell victim to the upheaval of a home filled with anger, so much so that by the age of ten I was already severely depressed.

            This depression, in varying degrees, persisted for many years as I passed through the difficult teen age into adulthood, a bad marriage, divorce and the challenges of being a single parent - all of which fed into the emotional turmoil.

            Finally, after living half of the normal expectancy of life, I discovered the answer for my hopeless spirit to be only a prayer away.  The words of a song come to mind, “He was there all the time, He was there all the time, Waiting patiently in line, He was there all the time.”  He, God, responded to my prayer avowing the need for Him in my life.  I made the wonderful choice to be His child, not that of the world that could offer no solace, and found that special peace which is offered to each of us who acknowledge Jesus Christ to be God’s Son and our Redeemer. 

            It has been many years now since that life-changing decision and miraculously God has restored and renewed my childhood wonder through past memories and current blessings.
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Judi lives in Wisconsin and has had inspirational articles published nationally. She has written award winning poetry and short stories, as well as being a Christian speaker.  She may be contacted at amber1lady@yahoo.com .

If you have a Little Girl Within story that you would like to share in order to encourage others, I would love to hear from you. Guidelines for submission are at the bottom of the post for the start of the series here.

The Little Girl Within -- God's Mysterious Ways

God is intricately writing our stories, but sometimes it is hard to see what He is doing.  Today, Mary Schiller shares her “Little Girl Within” story, a touching story of redemption and God’s grace.   Thank you, Mary, for openly sharing your heart with us and reminding us that the Lord does bring beauty from ashes.
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 "The little girl within" was happy and showered in love. (Perhaps even a tad spoiled!) I arrived in my family at a time when most parents would have been contemplating their approaching empty nest.  My oldest brother was 21, attending college and engaged to be married the following year.  The middle one was 19 and in the Navy.  It was 1947 so he was involved with cleaning up the mess of war in Japan.  The youngest, who had been dubbed the tag-a-long, was almost 12, well on his way to adulthood.  And then came me, the long-awaited little girl, apple of my daddy's eye.

    My daddy was a minister of a very strict church with lots of rules and regulations about how to please God and eventually be good enough for Heaven someday.  As long as I abided by those rules things were fine and "the little girl within" did just that. But then that little girl began to grow and yearn for forbidden things.  The cravings began with nail polish and lipstick then escalated to blaring rock and roll music and glossy teen idol posters plastered around my room.  My dad was into "saving" long-haired bad boys in black leather on Harleys.  He would take them places, visit them if they landed in jail and even provide them with a roof over their heads when their parents had their fill and kicked them out.  Little did he know they were supplying me with all the cigarettes I could smoke (major sin) whenever his head was turned.

    When I was 16 I found one of those long-haired Harley riders for myself and by 17 was married to him. I loved my dad dearly and was able to reconnect with him later in life, but it took me a really long time to forgive him for not realizing just how much I needed his guidance in the turbulence of my teen years.  In his mind I had been raised right and that should have been enough.

    God used this rebellious teen girl and a boy already fighting mental demons and about to embark in the battle of his life with Huntington's Disease to bring forth 2 beautiful daughters and 6 wonderful grandchildren who have all accepted Him into their hearts. Our oldest grandson is in college preparing for ministry.  I can truthfully say God has worked in a mysterious way to bring about His will in my life and create beauty from the ashes of my mistakes.

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Mary Schiller enjoys reading.  As a former Sunday school teacher and church librarian, she desires to help children walk with the Lord and is currently involved in Awana at Calvary Bible Church in Neenah.  On of her daughters, Lori Jones, also shared her “Little Girl Within” story, A Kept Promise, here.   Mary resides in Neenah, Wisconsin.

If you have a Little Girl Within story that you would like to share in order to encourage others, I would love to hear from you. Guidelines for submission are at the bottom of the post for the start of the series here. 

A Morning Glory's Glory

In response to my previous post Except a Little Bit, a friend of wrote to me a blessed note and attached this picture of her morning glories. She granted me permission to share it.

Dear Andrea:

Here is a picture of two of my morning glories.  New blooms appear every morning - each bloom lasts for less than a day - closing to never open again.  Yet, every morning, there are brand new blooms to enjoy, reminding me of His mercies that are new every day and in every new day His glory is once again quietly, softly opened up within to "bloom" for Him just that day.  The days you serve Him big, like Tuesday, and the days you serve Him small, like today, are not differentiated in our God's economy - He still sees the beautiful blooms within your heart and the glory they bring to Him no matter the size of the day. 

Love, Your Friend.

I love what she says. It is full of wisdom and grace and I am compelled to ask myself:

Do I live each day with an awareness of His beauty in my life?

Do I trust Him enough to share that beauty with others or do I hide His beauty out of fear?

Do I shrivel up out of my insecurities?

Do I live humbled by His abundant mercies that are new every day and live in light of those both within my own heart and as I am in relationship with others?

Do I guard my heart so fiercely (not wisely) because of embarrassment, anger, resentment or bitterness – blocking out His beauty by the darkness?

Do I ignore His beauty reflected in me because I am so busy?

Or do I – will I -- allow God to open His glory in me – through me – despite my circumstances?  My pain?  My fears?  My own agenda? Despite whether I have big things or little things to offer in each day.  Will I believe I am His beloved and that He reveals and reflects beauty in me each day, and act in accordance to this truth?

I desire to be what He has called me to be, but I must pause and ponder – am I willing to be and allow Him to be in me?

The King is Enthralled with Your Beauty

It was late in the day and the band began to play.  The air was warm and moist.  The moon light dappled through the clouds, resting on the daughters’ faces. The lead singer encouraged the children (and any others who cared to partake) to sing and dance along with the next song.

My two youngest girls got up from their chairs and began to sway and move to the music. Dressed in summer clothes and with feet bare, they danced on the grassy floor of the field.  They twisted and turned like flowers in a field.  Joy emanated from their faces.  I watched them – enthralled with their beauty – not for what they did (or did not do) or what they looked like, but because of who they were – created by God.

I think as women, we sometimes lose this winsome way of being who we are, secure in who God made us to be. We shirk back, hesitate, blend in. It happens to me. Maybe it happens to you, too.

We forget (or maybe we never really new) that we are actually hand formed and planned by the Lord, beautifully made. We think that we are ordinary, at best; unnoticeable and ugly at worst. We self-guard and hide behind our hurts or insecurities, not imagining that we are truly a lovely treasure to Him.

But, Psalm 45:11 says (and are you ready for this?) “The King is enthralled with your beauty.” Do you know that?  I’m not sure I really do.  I try to cling to the fact that He loves me, but enthralled with me? That’s a pretty big word with a lot of emotion packed in to it.

Most of the time, it is hard for me to believe, but I am trying to live in light of this truth, as it gently rests upon me in each moment of the day. I am humbled by the fact that the Creator of the universe is that crazy about me; that the King of Kings should be that fixed upon me.  The Ruler above all, the One who sits upon the throne in heaven, is wild about me – and He’s wild about you, not because of what we have done (or not done) or what we look like, but because of who we are—His.

It is true. You are dearly loved, sweet sister, and He is wild for you.  You are beautiful to Him, because He made you. He made you special. The King is captivated by you. His eyes are on you, and He is crazy in love with you.

What would it look like to live in a constant awareness of His loving gaze?

Be -YOU - tiful

Recently, I received a gift bag with a present inside of it. The gift inside was lovely, but it is what the bag said that keeps on coming back to me – “Be-YOU-tiful.”

Do you struggle with being you – the beautiful you that God created you to be? I know I sometimes do. I’m not sure where it comes from (maybe from the enemy, who wants us to be anything other than what God wants us to be), but I find that I lose myself somewhere along the road of wanting to be like someone else and not appreciating or being content with who God made me to be. I can be distracted by what others are telling me to be or I don’t take the time to see who I really am.

For some of us, there even may be messages from the past, like you are not beautiful. You are boring. You are weird. You are not gifted. You are not fast enough, creative enough, smart enough, or funny. Maybe you’ve been told you are fat, clumsy, forgetful, or worthless.

We lose ourselves, or we never really found ourselves – but God never loses us. He treasures us, and has a plan for us.

And part of that plan, is being YOU. Rabbi Zusya once said, “When I reach the next world, God will not ask me, ‘Why were you not Moses?’ He will ask me, ‘Why were you not Zusya.”

That’s my thought for today. Am I being ME? Are you being YOU? Or are we busying ourselves with trying to be someone we are not – someone God never intended us to be?

God made us. We are His handiwork to bring glory to Him – and we can do it by appreciating and embracing who He made us to be. God created beauty and part of His beauty, perhaps the most beautiful of all His beauty, is you.

Be YOU. Be creative. Be strong. Be athletic. Be musical. Be smart. Be thoughtful. Be whimsical. Be serious. Be noisy. Be reflective. Be relaxed. Be adventurous. Be a home-body.

God has placed special gifts and talents in you that He plans to use in the lives around you – He is orchestrating all things at all times.

So, dear reader, BE YOU – be beautiful YOU. Stop toiling and fretting and trying to stuff yourself in to a mold that will never fit you -- just BE YOU. Ask God to help you see your value and worth today. You are beautiful, just the way God created you to be. Figure it out. Embrace it. Share it. Love it. Be comfortable with it. Be flexible with it. Be confident in it. Be willing to offer your beauty to God for His glory and for His purposes.

Radically Radiant

Radiant. When I hear or see the word an image of a small portly pig sitting humbly yet confidently under a web, pops into my head. The word "radiant" shimmers in the threads of the web, woven there by a the pig's spider friend. I am talking about the story of Charlotte’s Web, of course, a classic tale written by E.B. White about friendship, loyalty and love.

Charlotte, the gentle and kind spider, believes in Wilbur, the pig. Her belief in Him gives him strength, hope, a purpose and because of her, he also radiates joy.

I don’t know about you, but some days I would not describe myself as radiant. Dull? Weary? Worn down? Doubting? Fearing? Yes. Radiant? From the inside looking out, I’m not so sure. But …

God tells us in Psalm 34:5, “Those who look to Him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.” When we seek Him, abide with Him, look to Him, we reflect His radiance. We can’t help it. His radiance shimmers off of us, regardless of what we think or how we feel.

I’ve known some pretty – like, really beautiful -- radically, radiant people. They are not radiant because of what they accomplish, how popular or witty or smart they are, or because of what they do for themselves. No, they are radiant because they live a life that is dependent on loving the Lord and seeking Him first in all things. I bet if I asked them, they would most humbly say that they do not notice their radiance. But, the truth is they are beautiful and they reflect the glory of God in their strength and in their joy – both of which He gives them.

Dear reader, look to the One – at the One -- Who loves you more than you can ever imagine. Believe in Him, for He made you and He believes in you. The Lord will use His love and grace that dances off of you, to encourage others in their faith and draw them closer to Himself. When we live a life depending on Him, we are radically, radiant! And as we grow in an understanding of Who the Lord is and live lives seeking and loving Him, we will grow in strength, hope, purpose and joy.

Everything Beautiful In Its Time

My eight year old daughter and I glided through the water in a kayak this weekend. I paddled, she gazed at the surroundings. A gentle rain danced on the calm, smooth water, leaving ringlet curls that gradually grew and melded together. We travelled past Lily Pads with emerging yellow blossoms and over rocks and fish and branches that had fallen in to the lake long ago. The clouds in the western sky looked as if they had been brushed across a giant canvas.

As I dipped and lifted the paddle, the kayak slid through the water, I noticed the ripples that stretched out from each stroke of the paddle. I sighed to myself, "Ahhh, the ripples. How great I was feeling the ripple effect of consequences in my life, not of my doing."

The silence was broken by my sweet little daughters voice.

"Mom, did you know that God is an artist? But He doesn't paint with a brush, He uses His words to create everything. Isn't that amazing, Mom? Isn't it beautiful?"

And so my heart and mind immediately turned from the ripples, to the sky where I saw God's work unfolding as the sun was setting. The sky above was beautiful. I thought of how God called creation in to being with His words in Genesis, and then I thought of how He speaks to us with His words. I thought of how much I love my daughter and her insight and then I thought of how much God loves her, and me.

Dear reader, the same powerful Creator God who made the heavens and the earth and everything in it, including you, uses His words to speak tenderly to you and tell you of His love. In the midst of our pain He is creating beauty. Ecclesiastes 3:11 says, "He made everything beautiful in its time." It can be difficult to see. Sometimes, I know that I am distracted by thinking about the consequences of the pain in my life instead of focusing on His beauty, or the beauty that He is creating in me through my circumstances. But God is the Creator of all beauty and He is at work, always. Trust Him as He beautifies you.

God Does Reveal Deep and Hidden Things

I must admit that I have not had the greatest week. Oddly enough, it is not anything in particular. The only way that I can explain it is a a vast cavernous sense of loneliness in combination with being filled with a great amount of sorrow. Empty but full - I am sure there is a powerful lesson in that.

But despite how I am feeling, I try to see God and what He has to share with me about myself or my circumstance or about Him, in the details of each day. Sometimes it seems as if I discover a treasure trove; this week I am struggling to see much, but this is one thing I noted.

I took the dog for a long walk or rather, he took me. (He is still struggling with heeling and obeying! Both of which seem to take a long time to learn, unfortunately.)

We were experiencing our first day of over sixty degree temperatures. It was beautiful. The birds were singing. The air smelled of moist soil and sunshine and running water. Do you know that smell? You can hear the flowing water, as the snows of winter are melting, and the smell is fresh and clean.

I love the sound and smell of melting snow. After a long winter, it is so pure and hopeful. I live in a climate that gets alot of snow. The snow banks are still 4 -5 feet tall in some places, but you know what I noticed about these snow banks on the side of the road? They are filled with junk. As the sun and the warm air have their thawing effect, alot of stuff from the long winter is revealed. Up until now, the snow had covered up all of the refuse, but now I could see it. It was always there, but not seen. Styrofoam chunks, and straws, and chunks of plastic, and soda bottles and milk bottle rings. Junk of all sorts had been hidden under the snow all winter, and now, in the melting process, it was being revealed, and would have to be dealt with. Someone was going to have to clean it up.

Daniel 2:21a-22 says "He changes times and seasons. He reveals deep and hidden things; he knows what lies in darkness, and light dwells with him." Over time, God does reveal all that is hidden. He knows that it is there. Nothing is out of His sight, and with the light of His love, like the warmth of a Spring day, truth is exposed. I have known by experience that when I ask God to show me the truth, whether in my circumstances or in my own heart, He does so. It may require some waiting on my part, but He does reveal it. Sometimes, it is junk in someone else's yard, and sometimes it is junk in my own yard, but He is faithful to show it.

Not to be too pessimistic, however, the truth is that as I see the snow melt, there is not only harsh, ugly truth that needs to be dealt with but beauty as well. Underneath the cold dark covering of snow, is new growth. Fresh, vibrant green shoots of life begin to poke their little heads out of the soil. This is truth, too.

So, dear reader, as you walk through today, ask God to show you the truth. Maybe it is truth in a relationship or about Him or about yourself. Maybe it is junk, and maybe it is beauty. In time, as He reveals the truth to you, trust Him to give you the grace that you need to face the truth. He loves you so very much -- unfailingly.

Beauty for Ashes

Let's face it, some days are better than others. I wouldn't be authentic with you, dear reader, if I shared with you only my lovely "ah-ha" moments, and not the times that I struggle.


Today I felt lonely and angry and sad and hurt. It is a most unappealing flavor of soup, but in time, can be nourishing in its own way. There is always a lesson to be learned.


Today, I felt like I was in a snow globe.


My snow globe did not possess fluffy white flakes, but gray ashes. I saw myself standing amidst the rubble of some sort of devestation. When shaken, ashes whirled around me, and rested on my head. My face pressed up against the scratched up plastic dome, I peered out, pounding my fists and yelling, "I want out! I don't want to be in this anymore!"


As I gazed out, I saw other snow globes. These scenes looked much more peaceful than mine. Some with quaint English cottages and others with groves of pine trees. White, fresh, clean snow fell upon these scenes, when shaken, not ashes. I wanted to be in one of those Currier and Ives scenes, not mine.


I don't mean for it to sound like a pity party. It's just how I felt today. But then I was reminded of what the truth is for me ... I'm really not stuck in a snow globe. I have choices. I have the Lord.


I have the Lord directing my choices, making me in to what He desires of me and creating for me and in me, good and beautiful things in my life. As I remember Jesus and the reason for Christmas, I also am reminded that He has come to bind up the brokenhearted and proclaim freedom for the captives. (I am not stuck in a snow globe!) He will comfort all who mourn and provide for those who grieve. He will bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning and a grament of praise, instead of a spirit of despair. (Isaiah 61:1-3).


And this truly is all part of His unfailing love for you, and for me.