Wonderfully Made

The photographer held her camera with confidence and creativity, clicking pictures of the children from every angle. The children, who at first were uncomfortable and hesitant, soon began to giggle and glow as their comfort level increased and they felt free to be themselves. It was an amazing transformation that I witnessed, and it was a gift.

I smiled, watching the whole event, taking in every moment. The children were dressed in long sleeved white shirts, jeans and wore (why do we say it this way?) bare feet. They were naturally beautiful. Now, I suppose like any mother, I’m terribly biased about how beautiful my children are but what I saw yesterday was deeper than that – it was an outward expression of their inner uniqueness, and that was beauty.

I was a bit unsure of how a photo session with five children would go. Needless to say, it was enough for me to decide what to have all five of them wear, appropriate for their ages and stages. We had not had the children’s pictures taken in years (I wish I was a mother who was more diligent about it, but I’m not) and so when the opportunity arose for them to be photographed by a professional, I thought I had best seize it and just weather the chaos.

But there was not chaos -- it’s true! There was joy, and lots of it! Each child, once they became comfortable with the photographer (a complete stranger at first) began to engage with her and react to her. The photographer was effervescent and delightful, popping her head in and out from behind her camera, relating to them, sharing stories with them and encouraging them with words like, “beautiful – fabulous – incredible – wonderful!” She praised them for their naturalness and for their joy. She laughed at their funny little mannerisms and encouraged them when they were playful and endearing with one another. Gradually, the children became more and more open and by the end of the session (1 ½ hours later) the children were begging her to take more pictures of them while they acted silly, sweet or sassy. The girls performed hand stands, wrapped themselves around each other in all sorts of configurations and modeled “attitude” poses with my reading glasses. The boys lounged on couches and against the wall looking cool, and even my 15 year old son (who has CP) propped himself up against the brick wall and flexed his much defined muscles in an atlas sort of pose.

I received so much joy watching each one of them express who they are and enjoy themselves.

I think that is how God feels sometimes with us. Psalm 139:14 says that we are “fearfully and wonderfully made.” I have been pondering that in light of the experience I had yesterday. If God in His great love takes the time to make each one of us unique, why do we spend so much time not appreciating our uniqueness?

I think that somewhere along the path to adulthood, some of us, sometimes, lose the ability to be comfortable with the unique being that God created us to be. We become stained and tainted by the world, and we shut our unique selves in to little boxes and fear that if we ever come out we will either be made fun of or criticized for being prideful. Our ability to be ourselves falters as our life experiences battle against who God created us to be.

Oh, we are not perfect, but we are unique. In some ways, it is about honoring our dignity and honoring God in appreciating how He made each one of us. We hesitate to be ourselves because we do not feel safe and secure; we fear. We feel judged, less than, ugly, inadequate, a failure, and we may end up even trying to be someone we are not. What a tragedy. We are our worst enemy and I think that the evil one rejoices (if that is possible of one so dark and demented) when we refuse to be who we are created to be with the gifts that God has given us.

When we appreciate ourselves in the Light of who God is, it is beautiful. It is as if He is the photographer, desiring to have us be who we are and we just stand there --- scared and insecure, rather than free and engaged with Him. But like the children, who opened up and were more comfortable the more they got to know the photographer, so can we begin to be more comfortable with who God created us to be and experience more freedom and joy in being ourselves, by spending more time with Him and allowing Him to work in our lives.

Dear reader, you were fearfully and wonderfully made and still are. God has created you with special gifts and a unique personality that only you have. And in it, He has a purpose for you to bring beauty to a hurting world and to reflect a dimension of Himself that only you can. Ask the Lord to show you who you are, if you are not sure, and be the best you that you can be for Him.

... And Set Free

“Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever. In my anguish I cried to the Lord, and he answered by setting me free” (Psalm 118:1,5).

Yesterday morning I woke up and witnessed the miraculous emergence of the Monarch butterfly from the chrysalis that my daughter and I had “rescued” the previous day. We now celebrated its full life as it unfolded its wings, stretched and eventually flew free. It may have been just one butterfly that we saved to beautify the world, but it was a powerful reminder to me of God’s rescuing power and His desire to set us free, because of His great love for us.

At times, in our anguish we cry out to the Lord, and He reaches down and takes hold of us, and sets us free – free from our sin, from our anger, from discouragement, from fears, from selfishness, from frustrations, from captivity and more.

As the butterfly flew away, I was reminded of the many times when I have called out to the Lord, in need of His power in my own life. Dear reader, if you are struggling, call out to Him and He will answer you. He will set you free to bring the beauty of His love to the world around you, a hurting world that needs to know the love of Jesus, in a way that only you can share. Soar and bring glory to Him, by sharing your story of His freeing love. And as you go, do not forget to give thanks to the Lord, for He truly is good, and His love for you endures forever.

My Brake Light and My Sin -- What God Showed Me

It started three days ago. "Hey, Andrea. I saw you driving around town and noticed your right brake light is out. Probably should get that fixed before the police stop you" one of my children's teachers said to me in the pick-up line.

I got distracted and promptly forgot. I guess it was not a priority for me.

Then today I was in a copy shop and a man pointed it out to me, again. "Miss, I noticed your right brake light is out. Better get that fixed."

"Ugh," I thought, "when am I going to take care of that!"

All day long I drove around town, but now I was finding myself super self conscious about this burned out brake light. I'm not kidding you, it was ridiculous. You may laugh; maybe you can relate. I found myself trying to avoid braking, by slowing down earlier than usual. I would try and time my transitions through stop lights so that I did not have to stop. One time, I thought to myself, "I wonder if I take a different way to school, if I would be less likely to see the police." And then I even took it!

I even saw more police cars today, than usual, and at one point, one came up behind me and I was sure he was going to pull me over. At the stop light, next to him, I put the car in park so that I did not have to put my foot on the brake. I was determined to not get pulled over for this brake light, and yet, I just could not make time to have it fixed.

As the day went by and my antics continued, I began to think. This is just like my dealing with sin. Again, maybe you can relate. Something is not right in us, maybe even hazardous, like a brake light being out can cause an accident. We may keep bumping in to God trying to reveal to us the specific sin problem, but we keep on trying to manipulate our way around it. We deny it or try to forget about it. We try to avoid it. We take different routes, trying not to deal with it. We tell ourselves that we do not have time right now. We'll take care of it later.

And in the process, we just keeping getting more bogged down by the problem, and it holds us captive. Sin of all sorts. Mistrust of God, fears, worries, gossip, words misspoken, and bitterness, to name only a few. All we need to do is confess it and ask for forgiveness, but we don't.

1 John 1:9 says, "If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives."

Tomorrow, I'm going to bring the car in and have the brake light fixed. I don't like living in denial, fear and manipulation. Right now, I am going to ask the Lord to search my heart and help me to see what I need to confess. I know it's in there. And then I will ask the Lord to forgive me, in the name of Jesus, and set me free.

Truth Amidst Tears

It is late now. The last couple of days have been tear stained, and I am exhausted. But, God continues to be faithful and to show me much about myself, Himself and the truth of my circumstances.

Tonite, I want to briefly share with you a paraphrase of Isaiah 61:1-3. It comes from the book Captivating, by John and Stasi Eldredge. If you are struggling with wounds and brokenness, and lets face it, who of us is not at some level, I highly recommend this book.

Two and a half years ago, I happened across the book at the Christian book store, and began to read it. It coincided with a time in my life when God was gradually beginning to lift the veil that had been shading my heart, and show me many truths. I wrote alot of thoughts in the margin of the book and dated them. As I picked up the book again today, it was very personal and intimate for me to see what I was thinking, where I was and where I am today, by what I had written at that time.

On one of my most marked up pages (page 95) the authors paraphrase verses from Isaiah 61. They were powerful words for me then and are very much for me today. Jesus says to my broken heart,

"God has sent me on a mission.
I have some great news for you.
God has sent me to restore and release something.
And that something is you.
I am here to give you back your heart and set you free.
I am furious at the Enemy who did this to you, and I will fight
against him.
Let me comfort you.
For, dear one, I will bestow beauty upon you
where you have known only devastation.
Joy, in the places of your deep sorrow.
And I will robe your heart in thankful praise
in exchange for your resignation and despair."

And He says that to your broken heart, too. On a day when it feels like I am surrounded by too much loss, and too little gain, I am choosing to remember that God does have joy for me in the places of deep sorrow, that He is fighting for me and giving me back my heart and setting me free.

Beauty for Ashes

Let's face it, some days are better than others. I wouldn't be authentic with you, dear reader, if I shared with you only my lovely "ah-ha" moments, and not the times that I struggle.


Today I felt lonely and angry and sad and hurt. It is a most unappealing flavor of soup, but in time, can be nourishing in its own way. There is always a lesson to be learned.


Today, I felt like I was in a snow globe.


My snow globe did not possess fluffy white flakes, but gray ashes. I saw myself standing amidst the rubble of some sort of devestation. When shaken, ashes whirled around me, and rested on my head. My face pressed up against the scratched up plastic dome, I peered out, pounding my fists and yelling, "I want out! I don't want to be in this anymore!"


As I gazed out, I saw other snow globes. These scenes looked much more peaceful than mine. Some with quaint English cottages and others with groves of pine trees. White, fresh, clean snow fell upon these scenes, when shaken, not ashes. I wanted to be in one of those Currier and Ives scenes, not mine.


I don't mean for it to sound like a pity party. It's just how I felt today. But then I was reminded of what the truth is for me ... I'm really not stuck in a snow globe. I have choices. I have the Lord.


I have the Lord directing my choices, making me in to what He desires of me and creating for me and in me, good and beautiful things in my life. As I remember Jesus and the reason for Christmas, I also am reminded that He has come to bind up the brokenhearted and proclaim freedom for the captives. (I am not stuck in a snow globe!) He will comfort all who mourn and provide for those who grieve. He will bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning and a grament of praise, instead of a spirit of despair. (Isaiah 61:1-3).


And this truly is all part of His unfailing love for you, and for me.