A Bad Case of the "I am nots ..." (or is that Good?)

I gotta tell you, I started out the day with a long list of the “I am nots …”

I am not going to get everything done. I am not going to get to the store. I am not equipped for this job.  I am not going to get through this pile of paperwork. I am not going to get a chance to write a post. I am not going to make it … I am not. I am not. I am not.

And then I remembered a book that I recently read (and I am highly recommending it to you) – “I am not but I know I AM” by Louie Giglio.  Listen to that again. “I am not but I know I AM.” 

This is a great read.   Great points to ponder. Great truths to bask in.  In brief, the book is about embracing (and I don’t want to ruin it for you – you really should read it) God – the great I AM – who He is and who we are (and are not) in light of Who He is.

To give you a glimpse, the back cover reads, “I am not but God knows my name. I am not but He has pursued me in His love. I am not but I know the Creator of the universe. I am not but I have been invited into His story. I am not but I know I AM.”

As I page through the book this morning, reflecting on the truth and sweet relief that I do not have to worry about all that I am not, because I know I AM – and He is all I need – I am drawn to a couple of things I underscored when I read this book before.

·         “Everything does not hinge on me.  If I stop doing my part, the whole world will not fall apart.  I am not in control.  God made the made the world in six days without any input from me, or my assistance. God doesn’t need me to accomplish His work. I am little. God is huge. I trust Him.”

·         “The story already has a star, and the star is not you or me.  We’ll spend our days trying to hijack the Story of God, turning it into the story of us. We can choose to cling to starring roles in the little-bitty stories of us, or we can exchange our fleeting moment in the spotlight for a supporting role in the eternally beautiful epic that is the Story of God.”

Whew! I can already feel my heart beat slowing and my breathing normalize. The muscles in my neck are relaxing and the knots in my stomach are untwisting.  I can relax. I may not understand everything, maybe not even a little, but one thing I know for sure – I know I AM.  I may not know all of Him, but I know that He loves me, that He has a plan for me and that I am part of His story.

What about you, sweet friend? Are you finding yourself caught up in the ways that you are not this day?  Take heart, you are not because you can’t be, but God IS – and He loves you.

At the end of the book Mr. Giglio says this (and I’m going to give you only a snippet, because it is so good and I want you to read the book):

“When you cry out all the things that you are not, you’ll know His answer is, “I AM.”  For every cry, there is one answer:

I need help.  I AM.

I need hope. I AM.

Who could possibly be smart enough to figure this out?  I AM.

What’s the latest thing? I AM.

Nothing’s real anymore. I AM.

Nobody’s listening to me. I AM.”

... and on and on the list goes.  “I am not but I know I AM.” I love that. I love the Lord.  And that’s enough for me today.

Perfect Peace

She finally fell asleep, holding my hand, snuggled up in a blanket, with an ice pack resting on her forehead – perfectly peaceful. When you are a little person (and a not-so-little person) falling can be traumatic. My daughter trying her hand (errrrr – feet) at ice skating, took a tumble and hit the ice face first. Poor little dear. She is better this morning, but not lacking a “purple eye.”

As I sat with her last night, looking at her as she rested quietly, my heart turned to thoughts of the Lord and how He tenderly cares for us when we are struggling. We fall down (either on our own or from the impact of others) and are hurt. We ache and we cry and we call out for help.

He picks us up with His strong and loving arms, and comforts us with His love. He holds our hand. He cares for us with His Word. He may bring others along side of us to help us, but often, I find that He meets our every need, personally and intimately. And when we fall asleep, we can be confident that He never does. He does not slumber nor sleep. He never takes a break. He never gets tired or worn out. He is always perfectly, loving and in control.

As I held her hand and rubbed her little forehead with my other hand, brushing her hair out of the way, as she dozed off, I whispered, “You’re going to be alright, Honey. Just relax. I am right here. Momma loves you and I will take care of you."

And I heard the words of the Lord whisper in to my heart at the same time, “I have everything under control, dear one. I know you are hurt. Rest here, in My love. I am right here. All day, all night -- even when you sleep. I am watching over you and taking care of you.”

My daughter rested soundly. She knew I was nearby and would take care of everything. Even though she was so tired and needed to sleep, she rested sweetly and confidently in my arms. God’s arms are everlasting arms, and in these arms we can find ultimate rest.

Dear one, keep your mind and heart focused on Him. When you are striving and tired, place your weary head on your bed and trust that He will cover you with His feathers (Psalm 91), watch over you while you sleep and give you perfect peace. Like the Psalmist let us confidently say, even when we are hurting, “At day’s end I’m ready for sound sleep, for you, God, have put my life back together,” (Psalm 4:8 MSG) and then commit to believing that it is true.

Come Dance with the Prince

There is something in Christmas that takes us by the hand and walks us down memory lane. As we look back over the years, we may reminisce about sweet memories of Christmas joys and times that were filled with safe, secure, and unconditional love. However unfortunately, I think most have experienced either a mixture of joys and sorrows, perhaps even a life story that is infiltrated with pain and loneliness. Rather than feeling connected, we’ve felt disconnected; rather than seen and cherished, we’ve felt invisible; rather than included, we were excluded; rather than remembered, we may have been often forgotten and rather than being hopeful in a season that is decorated with hope all around us , we have felt hopeless. Maybe these things are even true for us right this moment.

Perhaps it is the music, the lights, the stories, the gifts, the decorations, the beauty – that makes our hearts yearn for love. And I believe that it is the love of God – Jesus – who takes our hand and takes us for a walk. As we walk, I think we begin to explore questions in our little girl hearts (and not so little girl hearts – I know it does in mine) that we have either not been willing to ask or courageous enough to ask, like: Am I beautiful? Am I worth a gift? Am I special enough? Am I worth being pursued? Am I worth fighting for?

We wonder, “Do dreams really come true?” We so desperately want to have hopes and dreams and the assurance of love, and yet, time and time again throughout our lives these desires have been dashed.

Well, I have good news of great joy!

There is a rescuing, powerful, gentle relentlessly pursuing love our hearts beat for and His name is Jesus. We’ve been rescued by love – we just miss it. Somehow, the very thing that opens our hearts at Christmas time (the beauty and festivities around us) also numbs our ability to remember. And we forget –

The Greatest Love Story Ever (not just told) but Lived.

It is an adventure story of a young Hero – the Prince of Peace – who comes from a far off land to rescue His lost treasure (that’s you and that’s me!) And Jesus, being the Prince of Peace that He is brings peace that makes you whole. It makes you complete. It is beyond understanding, and yet, even in a world full of chaos and strife and pain (whether in your home, in your heart or far away) it is a real peace. A tangible peace. A deep Peace. A forever Peace.

He left one castle – an incredibly beautiful, perfect place to rescue the one He loves. He came from a beautiful city, with walls of topaz, jasper and sapphire, streets paved with gold and gates of pearl. He came from a place where there was – is – no darkness. Just light – and lots of it! He left the light and entered in to the darkness on a night when no one was looking, other than Mary, Joseph and a band of smelly animals.

And Jesus came, willingly, humbly. He came and he lived, died, and lived again. He sacrificed it all for you and for me, because He loves us.

Dear reader, we often miss the tender, intimate, personal message that God has for us at Christmas. He sent His one and only Son, Jesus, to rescue you and to rescue me! It was not just a general rescue mission, but a personal one. He knows your hurts – whether they happened to you or whether you have caused them yourself. j

He has chosen you. You are the girl at the ball, who stands in the corner. He has come to make His way through the crowd to your heart and He says, "Come dance with Me.; come be with Me forever." Acknowledge His love and His power in your life this Christmas. Others may have failed you, but not Jesus. Take the hand of the Prince and dance with Him in the castle of your heart this Christmas, and all year through. Merry Christmas, dear one!

Anxiety Relief

I haven’t seen the commercial for years, but the tune was a catchy one. “Plop! Plop! Fizz! Fizz! Oh! What a relief it is!” The solution to the plague of indigestion and whatever may have caused it came in the form of two white tablets that would bubble and bubble and then take your grief away. How I wish that this was true for all ailments of anxiety!

If we had to be honest with ourselves, and why wouldn’t we be, we all struggle with anxiety from time to time, and sometimes, more frequently and intensely than others. The feeling is all too familiar. It may start as an unsettled feeling in the heart, and before long, permeates the whole body causing a sensation of fullness in the gut, throbbing in the head, and jittering of the limbs, or at least some variation of that. Our pulse quickens and our heart beats scatter like the marks of a seismograph right before an earthquake. I hate the feeling, and I suspect that you do, too.

The thing is not so much that we struggle with it, but what do we do with it? Oh, in time, each of us has developed all sorts of solutions to the feeling of anxiety. We want to shed it, get rid of it, escape it – and we’ll do just about anything to do it. We tend to look for extremes in order to try and get the sticky, icky cling-on of anxiety off of us. We’ll overeat, overreact or over-drink. We’ll exercise too much or adapt the position of a couch potato. We’ll shop, drink too much coffee, indulge in massive amounts of chocolate or crawl up under the covers and try to hibernate till warmer, sunnier days. We over talk our anxiety, running to the door (or phone) of anyone who will listen, or we pull our heads in to our shells and camp out there. We may watch too much TV, spend too much time on the Internet, or engage in risk taking behavior.

I believe that God knows what we are prone to do. He knows our make-up and all of its weaknesses, but He gives us a solution. He says that we are to not be anxious and to cast our cares upon Him. He knows that we tend to get relief from our anxieties through lots of things, and let’s face it, we do. We want to cast them on other things, beside Him, and guess what? It does not work, and in truth, it causes more anxiety. The things we are tempted to try add to our anxieties not relieve them. Try as we will, as soon as we turn around they are stuck to us again like a piece of lint that will not go away, on a dry, static-y winter day.

We need to stop and acknowledge the unhealthy things that we tend to do when we are anxious. When we are unable to see and own our weaknesses, then they are more likely to have control over us. Identifying and acknowledging the sneaky bandits is the first step – or is it? No, wait a minute … I’m thinking not, what the Lord would say is to “seek Him.” Don’t put all these other things first. Seek Him and live (Amos 5:4).

Yes, dear reader, as I process through these thoughts on anxiety today, I would say that this is it. Looking for relief from your anxiety? Seek the Creator of the Universe who loves you with a relentless, unfailing love, first. Ask Him to come in and calm your anxious spirit and give you peace. Then, ask Him to reveal to you where you run and try to hide and find your comfort – a false comfort. Ask Him to show you healthy ways for you to relieve your stress, activities and thoughts that will not harm you, nor hurt you but will help you. Ask Him for perspective, His perspective, on what is going on in your life. He is our “Wonderful Counselor” the “Prince of Peace” (Isaiah 9:6) who will be your All in all.

God's Perspective and Peace

I walked along the path in a favorite serene spot of mine. Many memories came to life in my mind. It is a beautiful place of peace for me but it is peppered with points of pain. I chatted for few moments with my elderly neighbor lady. She is dealing with a multitude of medical problems as well as the reality of recently being widowed, but her demure yet strong spirit was evident when she spoke. She shared the latest news about the neighbors, catching me up on their happenings -- some happier than others.

"We all have our things we must deal with," she said softly. I agreed, and then we parted. I left thinking about portions of my pain, and the peace that I so desired, from the Lord.

I thought alot about living in the tension between our pain and peace. What do we do when a place of peace becomes a place of pain -- either partially or fully? It may be a physical location or a space in our hearts, where peace had resided, but pain has now taken up residence. How does God come in and begin to change our pain?

I believe by faith, and some by experience, that God does so by giving us perspective about Himself, ourselves, and our situation. God takes our places of pain and and gives us peace amidst them, by giving us His perspective. It may not mean that our pain will disappear. There are life long griefs that are carried -- the loss of a loved one, wounds from the past, serious medical illnesses, betrayal, abandonment, abuse.

However, dear reader, God comes in and takes hold of our face, between His powerful yet gentle hands and asks us to look at Him, only at Him and receive the peace He has for us. He shows us Who He is, how much He loves us, and what we need to know about the plans that He has for us.

In John 16:33 Jesus says, "In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." Many of us would not deny that there is trouble. Spending time with my neighbor shed light on only a few of the burdens that people are enduring, but Jesus reassures us. He has overcome these troubles in this world. Our suffering is not uncommon to man, nor to Jesus, who is acquainted with our grief, and yet Whom is also the balm for our sorrow. We can take heart and have hope.

I don't know if I will ever fully understand it, this side of heaven. God offers us His perspective, amidst our pain. It is here that we see Him clearer, feel His presence nearer and love Him dearer. Take heart, dear reader. God is doing something amidst your pain, and when you trust in Him in the process, He will give you peace, for He Himself is our peace (Ephesians 2:14).

The Peace of God On Guard

There are times in our lives when we feel much more vulnerable than others do. We may be hurting, either acutely or chronically, and feel as if even the slightest brush up against another difficulty or difficult person, sends a chill down our spine and in to our hearts. We want to be out and about, and yet we may feel insecure, sorrowful and weary.

When an animal is in the wild and injured, it becomes vulnerable to further harm. When a wounded soldier is on the battle field, they are more vulnerable to attack. And so it is with us. When our hearts have been broken or our emotions are raw or fears beset us or life's circumstances seem too much to bear, we feel susceptible to being wounded and hurt, again.

I was reading through my bible tonite, seeing what God had to speak to my heart and I came across Philippians 4:7, "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." The word "guard" jumped off the page. What did God mean by "the peace of God" guarding our hearts and minds?

In the Greek, the word guard means to protect by military guard, either to prevent hostile invasion or to keep the inhabitants of an attacked city from flight. We can envision the peace of God like military sentries or soldiers standing guard around our hearts and minds. This peace that is beyond our ability to understand and explain, the peace that comes to us only through the power of Jesus, protects us from attacks from the outside and inside. It is God's protective care to the very core of those who are in Jesus.

The verses that precede talk of rejoicing in the Lord, being gentle to all men, avoiding anxious cares and presenting our requests to God. Then it says, "And the peace of God ..." As we try to do the preceding things, God is giving us peace.

As I go about my day, sometimes feeling vulnerable, I am going to remember that the peace of God that He has given me is a protective force around me. It is guarding me. I need not fear vulnerability or be insecure. A garrison of the peace of God is wide and high and thick around my heart and mind, and is helping me Dear reader, as you trust in Jesus in all the happenings of life, remember this for you, too. His peace, possible only by the perfect power of Jesus, is on guard.

God Does Not Slumber Or Sleep -- What a Relief

It usually starts around ten or eleven at night. Finally, the house is quiet. I slip under the covers, set the alarm for the morning, squish my pillow in to just the right shape and turn off the light. Then I, unfortunately, often reach for my imaginary magnifying glass. and begin to have an enlarged look at my difficulties. Perhaps you know the feeling. I have an overwhelming sense of exhaustion all day, but seem to be never more awake than when I get in to bed, and then I begin to think, well, ok, worry.

Whether it is acute or chronic trials, they take their toll on one's physical and emotional well-being. Pain of any sort seems to be magnified at night, when the distractions of the day come to a halt. Now, however, we are tired and the uncertainties look bigger, the fears are greater and the sorrow is deeper. Troubles of the day, concerns for tomorrow, questions unanswered, although real, seem even more sensitive and fragile at night. Maybe it's the darkness that leaves us feeling alone and vulnerable. It is hard to see accurately in the darkness.

Laying in bed at night and thinking is causing me to not get enough sleep, I'm physically tired and I'm getting alittle tired of it, no pun intended. So, what do we do? How can we take captive our emotions and our thoughts and get some sleep?

I believe that it goes back to remembering who God is. We can choose to let our words of worry be few, and for God's Words to overflow, seep in and soak our weary souls. By reading and meditating on His Word we can remember it at night, and let it bath over us. We can listen to God's Word on a tape or CD and we can listen to music that glorifies Him and brings comfort to our troubled hearts. Instead of dwelling on our troubles, we can choose to dwell in Him.

With the Psalmist we can say, with confidence, "I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety" (Psalm 4:8). We can rest secure in Him, for He shields us all day long (and night!) and we can rest between His shoulders, for we are His beloved (Deuteronomy 33:12). What safer place is there?

Keeping God in clear view is always the solution. He brings peace, even in the darkness, because even the darkness is light to Him (Psalm 139:12). So, dear reader, when at night, you are finding it difficult to sleep as your mind is meandering and magnifying, and you are feeling vulnerable and fragile, look to the Lord, your help comes from Him. He is the Maker of Heaven and earth and the One who loves you very much. He will not let your foot slip, even when the way is treacherous, and He who does not slumber or sleep, watches over you (Psalm 121:1-4).

Power, Perspective and Peace

Regardless of whether we are in the heat of the trial or in the monotony of the mundane, we may fall in to patterns of worrying and wallowing. We may tend to take our eyes off of the Lord Jesus, and get bogged down in the details of our current situations. This is where I am finding myself lately, and realizing that I am in desperate need of reigning in my thought life.

To "reign" means "to rule over." Our thought lives can get away from us. We can fret over the littlest things, or the biggest, or we throw our hands up in to the air and feel like giving up. We obsess about our fears and exhaust ourselves with the work-out of worry.

God's Word tells us to "take captive every thought" (2 Corinthians 10:5). It can be challenging to break out of the cycle of destructive thinking that we can fall in to, but it is possible, and God's Word is one of the keys.

Imagine a horse out of control. He is bucking and running wild. The owner takes hold of the reigns, and holds firm. With a strong grip, the owner pulls hard on the reigns and slows and directs the horse, so that it becomes more obedient and relaxed. The owner rules over the actions of the horse.

And so we can with our thoughts. We can grab hold of our thinking with a strong and firm grasp and slow it down, making it more obedient to the will of God and subsequently, bringing peace to our soul. We reign in our thinking and align it with the thinking of He whom reigns over all, Jesus.

But how can we do this? We immerse ourselves in to God's Word. It is here that we experience three things -- perspective, power and peace. When we read God's Word, God reminds us of Who He is. We remember His faithfulness and His love, His tender care and His all-sufficiency. He shows us Who He is specific for our particular situation.

We experience the power of God's Word. Hebrews 4:12 says "For the Word of the God is living and active." Somehow, like the healthy food that we eat, it comes in to our bodies and nourishes our souls. We may not always be aware of how it is working, but just like the nutrients that strengthen us when we eat food, the Word of God strengthens us.

And we experience the peace of God. God uses His Word to calm our anxious hearts and to remind us of the peace that only He has for us. Like a warm blanket on a cold day, a peace wraps around us and brings us comfort.

So, dear reader, as you may struggle with your thoughts getting away from you and taking you on a wild ride, turn to God's Word and experience the perspective, power and peace that He has for you, as your thoughts are reigned in and ruled over, once again, by Him.

From Impassable to Unbelievable

My mind was moved to think about Moses today and the parting of the Red Sea. I'm not sure if it was because of the fierce winds outside today, or the fact that I have been feeling pressed between my past, my present and concerns of the future, but regardless, I believe that God brought it to my mind, and so I spent some time in Exodus 14 and 15 this evening.

You may want to read through it, but I will paraphrase. Try to imagine what it would have been like to be an Israelite at the very moment of coming up to the edge of the Red Sea. They were brought out of the slavery of Egypt finding themselves up against another insurmountable obstacle. They would have looked over their shoulders to see the armed Egyptians with their horses and chariots kicking up all sorts of dust and making quite an impression of power, and looked in front of them seeing and feeling the large mass of water.

Even though they had the visible presence of the Lord in a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night, I wonder how many stood there, pressed in by a force that seemed to have the advantage, and thought, "This is it. We are done for!"

Could they even dream of what God was going to do? Were the experiencing doubt and fear, and maybe even anger? What did they think when the east wind began to kick up? "Are we going to get blown into the sea?" Can you imagine the "shock and awe" that they experienced when the walls of water began to form? The noise? The smells? The confusion? Did they fear that they would drown?

And yet, they stepped out in faith, and walked on dry ground. God created a miracle, provided a way, and their feet and belongings never even got muddy!

God delivered them safely and He took care of the enemy. When they Israelites were safe, the waters closed up again, and all the Egyptians who were pursuing them, were dead. In response, the Israelites feared the Lord and put their trust in Him and they sang a hymn to the Lord, celebrating God's spectacular victory.

This is the God who I desire to put my trust in, too. When we are pressed in from behind by circumstances that look more powerful and numerous that we are and facing the seas of discouragement and fear and sorrow, God can take what appears to be "impassable" and do the unbelievable.

Who knows what the mighty, loving hand of God will do when we choose to trust and obey Him. The song of praise following the deliverance of the Israelites calls out to the Lord, "In your unfailing love you will lead the people you have redeemed" (Exodus 15:13), and we can cry out to Him in full assurance that He will do this for us to, when we choose to love Him.

Be at peace, dear reader, for you are unfailingly loved. Whatever your circumstances are in your past, present or future, our God is incredible and He is writing a redemptive story for you. Your enemies, whether from with out or with in, have no power over you. God will provide a way for you, beyond your wildest imagination. Trust God.

Peace Within - Merry Christmas

On the night that Jesus was born, a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel of the Lord, presenting the greatest birth announcement of all times.

"Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests." Luke 2:14.

I could have used an angelic appearance tonite. I wasn't looking for an announcement, but more like some reassurance, that all would be well. I didn't even request a whole host. I would have been satisfied with just one dimly lit heavenly being showing up in my kitchen. I even asked, out loud, for the Lord to send one!

I read the Christmas story from Luke, and have been pondering the whole event through out the holiday season. Somehow, I keep on bumping in to one word -- PEACE. Maybe because I am not feeling a whole lot of it this Christmas season, and the word keeps popping up in story books and Christmas songs and in the scriptures.

But what exactly does it mean to have peace? As I dug around alittle bit I realized more and more that the peace that God talks about is not one of outer tranquility, like a calm, fresh fallen snow that rests upon the trees. But rather it is an inner tranquility that is deep and lasting, knitted in to our hearts and minds, made possible by Jesus. The very Jesus that we celebrate the birth of during Christmas time.

In John 14:27, Jesus says, "Peace I leave you; my peace I give you. I do not give you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

There we go with that theme again ... do not be afraid. I said before that the antidote to fear was trust, and I believe that that fruit of trust, is peace.

In Philippians 4:6-7 says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving to God, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guide your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Do not be anxious ... And the peace of God. I've experienced that peace. I even experienced it, tonite.

I never did get an "angelic appearance" (although some angel like friends of mine bridged the gap with phone calls and drop in visits) but I did get something even more powerful -- the assurance that peace in me is possible with Jesus. It may not always seem like it on the outside, as I attempt to navigate the changes and the pain around and within me, but a deep abiding peace is possible, and God will use that peace to help guide and guard my hurting heart.

And so it possible for you, too, dear reader, to know this peace, amidst the storms of life. I wish you a Merry Christmas. Thank you to all of you who take the time to read these random words and for your encouraging notes to me. I pray that the truths that God is teaching me strengthen and edify you, as you walk the paths that God is asking you to walk.

This One is for You!

At different times, I have marked in my bible dates and notes of what was happening in my life.

Today I ran across one of those. Marked in the margin was a date from 2 years ago, and a short note, "This one is for you!" I felt that the Lord was telling me that 2 years ago, and I still believe that today. Although I am not completely sure of its full meaning, as I have walked, I see more and more how He is changing me and growing me in the midst of all things.

And this is what He showed me,

"Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the Lord, who has compassion on you. "O afflicted city, lashed by storms and not comforted, I will build you with stones of turquiose, your foundations with sapphires. I will make your battlements of rubies, your gates of sparkling jewels, and all your walls of precious stones. All your sons will be taught by the Lord, and great will be your chilren's peace." Isaiah 54:10 - 13.

Today, too, I choose to remember that "this one is for me" and that He will continue to work in and for me.