A Free Falling Faith Into My Father's Arms

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I wasn’t planning on posting today.  I’m speaking tonite for a women’s group and am in full prep and prayer mode, but I love what came in an email to be today,  from a friend, and  just had to write about it.

One of my (many) issues is – trust.  I won’t get in to all the reasons why that may be so, but suffice it to say – I sometimes i struggle with trust, and sometimes even (deep breath) trusting God.

My friend wrote to me about something going on in her life, and then added these words.

“My greatest desire is to be totally dependent on God and to let my desire to have a plan and be in control not be a stumbling block for what God wants to do in my life. To be able to free fall into my Father's arms.”

… to be able to free fall into my Father’s arms …

I love it!  That’s my hearts desire, too … to be able to free fall into my Father’s arms.

I’ve never been to a ‘team building workshop,’ but I’ve heard of them.  Often times, they’ll build ‘team trust’ (I don’t know if they call it that, but it sounds good) by having a group of people stand behind one person, tell the one person to close their eyes and fall back freely, learning to trust that their team members will catch them.

Sounds scary to me.  I’m not so sure if I’d be the first to raise my hand to give it a whirl.  Truth is, I may be the first one to try and peek over my shoulder or stick a leg out when I’m at about a 30 degree slant, in order to catch myself, just in case. 

Either way, it’s a good picture for me to super-impose on my relationship with the Lord and my willingness to trust Him.  

Do I trust Him enough to lie back and let Him catch me? 

I posed that same question to my friend in a return email. 

She responded.

“I struggle with that free falling kind of trust. I would rather just "Martha it" myself, but I do believe that He would love for me to trust Him unhindered and uninhibited. I want to let go of my desire to control, let Him take the lead and trust like a little child.  He has given me every reason to do so.”

Just the what I needed to be reminded of today, my "free falling faith kind of friend."  I suppose Someone knew that.  

I’m heading off to teach tonite.  As usual, I’m nervous and feeling a bit vulnerable, but I’m going to show up with a ‘free falling kind of faith’ and trust the Lord to take the lead.  He has given me every reason to do so.

Very Random Thoughts about Spices and Friends ...

I’m thinking of coordinating a spice exchange.

I know it sounds strange. My kids would probably say, “That’s really random, Mom.” They’re right.

Here’s the thing ... yesterday, I was cleaning out my herb and spice cupboards. Totally not on my list of things to do, but there I was, doing it anyway.

And here’s what I noticed -- my spices replicate.

It seems likely, although it remains a mystery as to how they do it. Do they germinate? Divide by mitosis? Expand like Amish Friendship Starter Dough?

I’m not sure.

All I know is that I have a lot of some things. It verges on ridiculous and pathetic.

2 containers of:

·                 dried onion

·                 ginger

·                chili powder

·                ground cayenne pepper

·                basil leaves

·                paprika

3 containers of:

·              dried parsley

·              poultry seasoning (I could season a whole farm)

·             crushed red pepper

And sadly, 4 containers of:

·             thyme (seriously?)

·             vanilla extracts

·            ground cinnamon

I’ve got extra of ‘this’ … maybe you have extra of ‘that?’

We could share. Perhaps, I have something you could use, and I’m pretty sure there is something I’m out of, and will need at a most inopportune, unexpected time.

As I sorted and cleaned, my mind synapsed (again, randomly – is it being pre-menopausal?) over to thoughts of friendship.

I think it’s a bit like the friendships the Lord gives us. We all have different gifts.  At times, we may have an abundance of something. These things are not ridiculous or pathetic, but rather, rich and important -- rich and important to share.

When I need laughter, I call the ones who seem to have overflowing silliness.

When I need hope, I know the girl to call. I’ve seen her hold on to hope in Jesus, when life looked pretty hopeless. 

When I need to be strengthened in my faith, I call the friend whom I’ve seen measure out a lot of it.  She’s the one I know will give me some of hers, so that I can continue to move on.

When I need to see the truth clearly, I call the one who will be honest with me and direct me to the Truth. She’s got plenty to share, and she does it lovingly, gently.

We all have something extra, something extra that the Lord gives us to share with one another. 

Let me know if I can help. Happy to give of my time or my – err – Thyme.

(Tee-hee – now I’m laughing at my own jokes? Time to sign off …)

And God Reminded Me, "I'm Aware, and I Care"

A couple of days ago, if you were to ask me how I was doing, I would have responded DEPLETED.

Bone dry. Rung out. Deflated.  I felt like a mere shell of a woman. And I didn't see relief in sight.

But like most women, I kept on going. I asked the Lord, for help.  I just wasn’t expecting it in this way.

God is so creative and cool.

A friend of mine was in town from Dallas. We've been friends for a long time. We met for a couple of hours for coffee  and enjoyed catching up on life – hashing over the good, the bad and the ugly, but encouraging each other in the Truths.

I felt my cup fill up.

But it wasn’t just that.

Later that day, I was telling my kids about how this friend definitely has the spiritual gift of giving.  She’s given me some pretty interesting gifts over the years, including sending coconut ice cream to my house, wrapped in Styrofoam and dry ice, shortly after I gave birth to our 4^th child.

Anyway, she stopped by the house a few hours later, carrying a red bag, wrapped around 2 packages of Ho-Ho’s and a card, with her handwritten words, “Here’s to finding the beautiful beneath the dirt, dust and sin.  Your friendship is such a blessing.  Take care of yourself – which means, of course, eating Ho-Ho’s! Keep praying. Keep writing. Keep going.  God will not let you fall.  I love you soul sister!”

My cup filled up some more.

The next morning, I went out to my car to get my sun glasses, opened the door and to my surprise,  on the front seat of my car rested a framed set of photographs. The day before, when we were together, we browsed through an art gallery and I admired it. It is three photographs of old fashioned typewriter keys. She bought it, I thought for her. 

She’s sneaky that way.

The thing is, I’m still smiling about it. It’s really not about the gifts.  I didn’t NEED the Ho-Ho’s or the picture, but God used her giving them to me to remind me of Him. It was about Him filling me up, through the truth that He was at work.

Beyond the fact that she was generous and kind, it’s that God cared enough about me to prompt her in her gifting. She was the willing vehicle of His grace to me.  It was as if He was saying to me, “I’m aware, and I care.”

Yes, I’m still smiling about the visit, the card, the Ho-Ho’s (and I’m happy to report that they only have 80 calories each – who would have known?) and the picture (which I hung in my kitchen, still adorned with the bow that it came with).

But I’m also touched by the truth that when we live out the spiritual gifting that God has given us (giving, teaching, encouraging, etc...), in His timing and in His way,  then we are giving God’s love.

We may never know who He may be reaching at any given moment. It’s not like I was wearing a neon sign that flashed DEPLETED. She didn’t know that. God did.

Lord, help me to be your willing servant, to bless others through the gifting that you’ve given me.  Help me to believe that you are at work. Remind me of this, so that I can in turn, bravely, generously, give to others, in whatever way you ask me to, for that day. In Jesus Name I pray, Amen.

What To Do for a Friend in Great Need?

My heart is deeply burdened for a friend today. I cannot shake the vision of her face or the sorrow of her heart.  I feel helpless.  I want to do something, but am not sure what. A gift? A card? What can I do, Lord?

I went to my perfect parent, my Father in Heaven, and asked Him. He knows her heart. He knows her situation.  He knows her every need.

He reminded me of a time not so long ago.  I was the one who was in the deepest depths of fear and sorrow. I sat with another friend. I shook all over, inside and out, and nothing seemed clear to me.  I had no answers. My hope felt hollow. With weak words I said, “I am having a hard time even believing that God will make something good out of this. I can’t even pray.”

She held my hand, grabbed hold of my heart and said, “You don’t need to pray right now, I am doing that for you.  I know that you are weary and that your pain is great.  Just rest.  Let me be the one who prays.” She wrapped her arms around me, and we both cried. ” I will also do the believing for you. I will stand on His promises, holding you up.”

I will never forget the power of my dear friend’s prayers and her willingness to stand strong for me, when I could not stand or speak.  It stirs me to tears, even right now, as  I remember  God’s love flowing through her, knowing that she was determined to pray for me. I was weary and weak, but she was strong. She was strong not because she knew all the answers, or even one of them at that point, but because she knew the One who promised to be present, true, good and loving, all the time.

I am stirred to be that for my other friend today, even when I cannot be close to her physically. I am praying for her, believing the promises for her, holding her heart high knowing that God will care for her and meet her every need.

He did for me. I trust He will for her, too.  As for today, I will drop her a gift and write her a note, but most importantly, I will pray.