One of my (many) issues is – trust. I won’t get in to all the reasons why that may be so, but suffice it to say – I sometimes i struggle with trust, and sometimes even (deep breath) trusting God.
My friend wrote to me about something going on in her life, and then added these words.
“My greatest desire is to be totally dependent on God and to let my desire to have a plan and be in control not be a stumbling block for what God wants to do in my life. To be able to free fall into my Father's arms.”
… to be able to free fall into my Father’s arms …
I love it! That’s my hearts desire, too … to be able to free fall into my Father’s arms.
I’ve never been to a ‘team building workshop,’ but I’ve heard of them. Often times, they’ll build ‘team trust’ (I don’t know if they call it that, but it sounds good) by having a group of people stand behind one person, tell the one person to close their eyes and fall back freely, learning to trust that their team members will catch them.
Sounds scary to me. I’m not so sure if I’d be the first to raise my hand to give it a whirl. Truth is, I may be the first one to try and peek over my shoulder or stick a leg out when I’m at about a 30 degree slant, in order to catch myself, just in case.
Either way, it’s a good picture for me to super-impose on my relationship with the Lord and my willingness to trust Him.
Do I trust Him enough to lie back and let Him catch me?
I posed that same question to my friend in a return email.
“I struggle with that free falling kind of trust. I would rather just "Martha it" myself, but I do believe that He would love for me to trust Him unhindered and uninhibited. I want to let go of my desire to control, let Him take the lead and trust like a little child. He has given me every reason to do so.”
Just the what I needed to be reminded of today, my "free falling faith kind of friend." I suppose Someone knew that.
I’m heading off to teach tonite. As usual, I’m nervous and feeling a bit vulnerable, but I’m going to show up with a ‘free falling kind of faith’ and trust the Lord to take the lead. He has given me every reason to do so.