Keeping Courage Close

Be strong and let your heart take courage, all you who hope in the LORD.  (NASB  31:24).

The thermometer read 22 degrees Fahrenheit, outside -- a chilly morning, indeed, for a run.

I bundled up from head to toe and decided to take the dog.  Maybe the distraction would help me to get through the run. I was only going to go a short 3 miles, so he could handle it.

Of course, he handled it well, and I fought him the whole way.

He’s not used to running with me.

We need to work on this, I thought, as he continually tried to pull on me, stretching my left arm out like Elasta-girl.

“Courage! (that’s his name) Stay!” I said with my firm mother voice.

And, over and over again, I said it -- “Courage!  Stay!”

I thought back to several years ago when I was working on teaching the dog to heel – a time when I was in need of major healing. I even wrote a post about it (click here).  Apparently, he and I had not made much progress.

This time, though, instead of thinking of healing, I was thinking of courage.

It’s true, isn’t it?  We are in a constant need of keeping courage close.

The analogy of the dog and my run with him falls apart here. 

Truth is, unlike the dog, courage doesn’t keep trying to get away from me.  I keep on wandering from it.

I need to keep courage close. 

I need it for the mundane and for the massive moments of life.

I need it to slow down.

I need it to get up and move.

I need it to teach, to mother, to be a wise wife, to be a compassionate friend, and to look for the opportunities that God brings a cross my path for today.

I need it to wait.

I need it to fight.

I need it to let go.

I need it to hold on.

I need it to believe that His promises are true.

I need it to be sure that what He has planned for me is good.

God gives us courage and He gives us strength to grab hold of it. When we walk with Him, He is faithful to give it. We can be fearless with Him. 

I need courage and I need to keep it close.

One more thing … this is what I noticed about this perky hound.  On the way home, when we got close to our neighborhood,  he picked up the pace, and pulled me right along with him.  It’s like he knew that we were almost there, and he was going to sprint to the finish.

And I wondered, “As we near Home, will we need more courage? Will God give us more courage to help to pull us on?”

I suspect that we will need more and  I’m asking the Lord to please assure me that He will give it, and that it will help to bring me Home.

Running the Race -- Urbanathlon Chicago 2011

"Therefore … let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” (Hebrews 12:1).

I fanned open my bible to Hebrews 12 and read the verse.  It is a familiar one to me. I’ve read it, leaned on it and had often done so.  

Right before the race (Urbanathlon Chicago 2011) (click to see the course -- 10 miles and 7 urban obstacles through the city of Chicago) I tucked it away in my in my mind. The thing is, I knew that I needed it.

The race set before me that day was a physical one. I trained. I ran. I applied BioFreeze to my sore muscles and foam rolled tight muscles frequently.  I was ready, physically, but it was the negative self-talk that was weighing me down.

I have issues with this problem, not just when I run a race, but in life.  Like cockroaches in the dark, words of negativity about myself scurry around, creeping me out and keeping me back.

Words like …

You’ll never finish.

You’re not strong enough.

Who do you think you are?

Why do you even bother trying?

You’re just going to disappoint yourself – and worse, yet, others.

I don’t know where they come from or how they get in, but suddenly, there they are. Like I said, creepy.

So, as I worked up to and stepped up to the starting line a couple of weeks ago, I clung to this verse.

Throw off everything that hinders – all the NEGATIVE SELF TALK – and run the race marked out for you.

I’m still reliving some of the moments of the race, and still smiling.

My goal was to finish the race – finish the race with a smile on my face for my kids – and I did.

That's me in the middle, getting a boost from below, over the last obstacle -- the 8 foot wall.

I didn’t do it perfectly. I needed a boost over a few of the obstacles (the giant tractor tire and the eight foot wall at the end). I tripped once along the way (and felt sorry for the guy behind me. I think I almost gave him a heart attack as I flew forward, catching myself before the ground caught me). I had to take the “penalty push-ups” when I couldn’t get over the marine hurdles, but I made it across the monkey bars without falling (and did a little victory dance when I got through them).

Over a police barricade near the beginning of the race. I was still feeling fresh ...

That's me in the lime green, getting ready to crawl over the bus.

I'm making my way through the mud, and over a taxi ...

AND I had fun. I ran with courage and strength, determined to do my best. I persevered and stepped on a few cockroaches of negative self-talk along the way (can you hear the crunch? I know – gross!), as I climbed over police barricades, slopped through mud and made my way over a city bus and taxi cabs. I enjoyed the scenery and I enjoyed the people that I chatted with along the way.

It was good. God is good for continually teaching me, transforming me in all things.

I finished, and I’m proud of myself for taking on the challenge and conquering the race, but maybe even more so, overcoming the obstacle of my negative self-talk and  facing my fears.

And My Word for the Year is ...

Courage.

The problem is, ironically, I’m scared about this being my word for the year that I believe the Lord chose for me.

And I’m not sure I’m crazy about it either. I keep asking if perhaps there is a different word that the Lord would rather give me. I keep trying to shake it and replace it with another one. Couldn’t it be “kindness” or “joy?”  But time and time again, through multiple circumstances, it seems as if this is the word He chose for me. 

Courage. 

More specifically – Holy Courage.

If I am honest with myself, I know I need it. I need Holy Courage.

I know I need it for the things I fear and for the things that seem way too big for me to handle.

Let’s take teaching, for example. I’ve been swimming laps back and forth through the book of Acts, researching, writing and asking (begging) the Spirit for wisdom and insight.  Stroke by stroke, breath by breath, at times I weary and worry as to how in the world I am going to pull this off for His name’s sake.

I can feel my insecurities and inadequacies wash over me as I swim these laps.  It does not feel as if I am swimming in a calm, well chlorinated pool, but rather on seas with waves that rise and fall. I’m nervous about not doing a good job. I’m nervous about not doing the thing that I desire to do – please the Lord. I’m nervous about – well, I’m even nervous about being nervous.

I need Holy Courage.

However, as I study, I’m learning that it’s what the early church had through the ministry of the Holy Spirit. It wasn’t something they mustered up on their own; they had it because it was given to them, and they took hold of it.

They had Holy Courage. 

I need Holy Courage.

I have Holy Courage.

I just need to grasp it and believe -- for all the things that are before me in this year, the things I do know and the things I don’t have any idea about … yet.

Jesus said, “Take Courage!  It is I! Don't be afraid!” (Matthew 14:27). He is ever-present; I do not need to fear. I’m working on it, Lord.  Help me to believe.

Do you have a word for the year? 

One Thing I Abhor -- Bullying

It was getting chilly at the soccer game and I wanted my jacket. I hustled over to my car to quickly grab it out of the trunk, when I heard the quivering sound of fear. Over my shoulder I caught the image of a young boy about 8 years of age backing away slowly from another boy about his same age.

“Leave me alone. Don’t do that anymore. Go away.” The words shuddered like the ripples on a washboard, as they escaped from his mouth.

“I’m going to get you,” the other boy taunted, as he ran towards the first boy. They both disappeared around a car.

There are some things in life that once you’ve felt them yourself, there is no lag time in feeling them again. Movie clips of my being teased as a young girl began rolling in my mind. The deep sense of fear and helplessness came rushing through my veins. I was motivated and moved by these miserable memories.

I abandoned my mission to get a coat and walked briskly to the parking space where they had disappeared. I still heard the voice of the taunter pursuing his prey.

Just as I reached the space between the two cars, the boy bully – to his surprise -- backed right in to me. Startled, he looked up. I got down at his level -- eye level.

“Are you being unkind?” I said, gently but firmly.

“Yes,” he now shuttered.

“Do you like it when people are unkind to you?”

“No,” he said as his other little friends, wondering what was happening, appeared on the scene.

“I didn’t think so,” I nodded. “I don’t know who any of you are, but I suggest you leave this boy alone. Practice being kind to each other. Is that clear?”

The boy nodded rapidly, frozen in his steps. I walked back to my car, and back to the game. Ended up, I didn’t really need the jacket. I wonder if God had me there for a reason. I’ll never know if it made a difference, but I hope it stirred conviction in one boy and strength in the other.

There are a number of things in life that I abhor -- bullying is one of them. It definitely makes my “top ten list of despicable things people can do.” It brings about this intense sense of justice and compassion in me. My blood begins to stir when I hear others being put down, stepped on, preyed upon, or doused with fear.

I think about the verse from Micah 6:8 (NET), “He has told you, O man, what is good, and what the Lord really wants from you: He wants you to promote justice, to be faithful, and to live obediently before your God.” Sometimes, it’s hard to stand up for what is right. We question whether we are even making a difference, or our own fears and insecurities get in the way. There are times in my life when people stood up for me. There are times when I wish someone had.

Promote justice, in the little and big things in life. Be faithful. Live obediently to the Lord, the lover of your soul, the lover of every soul. Defend the bullied, protect the abused, help strengthen the downtrodden and encourage the down cast. Show them the love of Christ, even a small way. Be aware of where God is placing you and what He may be calling out to do. Stand up and speak out. It may mean a world of a difference to one – or to the world. You just never know.

"The Man in the Arena"

I am writing this from one of my favorite places on earth, where I am staying with my dear friend and her family - Nashville, Tennessee. They are all special to me, and this is a special place to me as much of my growth and God's grace have mingled together in this city.

Yesterday, I was heading out the door to share part of my story in a "new"setting and I was a bit nervous (ok, alot nervous, but it is good to be so sometimes. It keeps me humble.) My friends' 13 year old son, Andrew, was teasing me.

"Don't let the critics get you down!" he mused, as I was getting in to the car to leave.

"Thanks, alot, Andrew, for the encouragement" I teased back, but feeling the lump in my throat grow exponentially.

Then his mother asked him to recite to me a part of a speech that he had memorized months earlier. I thought it may encourage some of my readers. It did me. It is a quote from Theodore Roosevelt, given in a speech in 1910, in Paris.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."

Dear reader, do you find yourself feeling as if you have stepped in to an arena, or are being called to do so? Maybe it's the arena of trial and suffering that you are walking valiantly in, trusting God verses cowering in fear. Maybe you are soon to be entering an arena that the Lord has called you to step in to - a job, a ministry, a calling, an opportunity to share your story.

The arena can be a vulnerable place, a dirty place where our faces may feel as if they are marred with dust and sweat and tears, an intense place. It is here, often in this place where our character grows, our integrity is defined, our faith is strengthened and the Lord seen clearer.

The arena is a place where we enter with courage, trust in the Lord's provision and fight with great tenacity. It is a place that we can live a very full life regardless of whether we experience victory or defeat. It is a battle well worth it.

When Faith Goes to Market ...

One of my favorite devotionals is Streams in the Desert. Some time ago, I read in there a quote that has stuck with me, and seems to keep resonating in my soul.

"When faith goes to market, it always brings a basket."

I don't know about you, but sometimes I find it hard to understand what to have faith means. There is something about the visual picture of a woman picking up an empty woven basket, and heading in to her day, prepared to gather what she is certain that she will find in that day, that encourages me. She is actively trusting, full of confidence in the One who is the Provider of all things.

When I am discouraged or scared or overwhelmed or sad or anxious, I try to remember to pick up my basket that God has for me, trusting that He will fill it with all that I need for that day, and that He will fill it abundantly. I desire to head in to my day, filled with the faith, that God has good things for me in the day, even when it appears to be a dark and gloomy day; even, perhaps, more so on those days, than any other days.

Gradually, I am learning that when I live by faith, and not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7) that I actually experience more of God than I would have ever imagined, as He fills my basket with the strength and courage that I need, and shows me His unfailing love.

A Little Bit of Courage

Three months ago, we got a dog. He is a black Golden Doodle and his name is Courage. He is a love.

In retrospect, I think that God knew that I was going to need to be courageous on this road that He has asked me to walk, and every time I call for Courage, I am reminded of that.

Ten times in the Old Testament it says to be "strong and courageous." They are paired together. In Joshua 1:9 it says, "Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."

It is interesting to me that instead of being terrified, we can be strong. Instead of being discouraged we can be courageous. Sometimes, in this place of so much uncertainty, I can fall in to being fearful, but God says, "be strong." And sometimes (again, unfortunately, more times than not) I can become discouraged, but God says "be courageous!"

As I begin to focus on who God is, my Strength and my Defender, I can in turn, with His help be strong and courageous. He says that He will be with us wherever we go. That brings me great comfort and courage.

And this is what my little Courage reminds me to do.