Monday, January 3, 2011

And My Word for the Year is ...

The problem is, ironically, I’m scared about this being my word for the year that I believe the Lord chose for me.
And I’m not sure I’m crazy about it either. I keep asking if perhaps there is a different word that the Lord would rather give me. I keep trying to shake it and replace it with another one. Couldn’t it be “kindness” or “joy?”  But time and time again, through multiple circumstances, it seems as if this is the word He chose for me. 
More specifically – Holy Courage.
If I am honest with myself, I know I need it. I need Holy Courage.
I know I need it for the things I fear and for the things that seem way too big for me to handle.
Let’s take teaching, for example. I’ve been swimming laps back and forth through the book of Acts, researching, writing and asking (begging) the Spirit for wisdom and insight.  Stroke by stroke, breath by breath, at times I weary and worry as to how in the world I am going to pull this off for His name’s sake.
I can feel my insecurities and inadequacies wash over me as I swim these laps.  It does not feel as if I am swimming in a calm, well chlorinated pool, but rather on seas with waves that rise and fall. I’m nervous about not doing a good job. I’m nervous about not doing the thing that I desire to do – please the Lord. I’m nervous about – well, I’m even nervous about being nervous.
I need Holy Courage.
However, as I study, I’m learning that it’s what the early church had through the ministry of the Holy Spirit. It wasn’t something they mustered up on their own; they had it because it was given to them, and they took hold of it.
They had Holy Courage. 
I need Holy Courage.
I have Holy Courage.
I just need to grasp it and believe -- for all the things that are before me in this year, the things I do know and the things I don’t have any idea about … yet.
Jesus said, “Take Courage!  It is I! Don't be afraid!” (Matthew 14:27). He is ever-present; I do not need to fear. I’m working on it, Lord.  Help me to believe.
Do you have a word for the year? 

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