And My Word for the Year is ...

Courage.

The problem is, ironically, I’m scared about this being my word for the year that I believe the Lord chose for me.

And I’m not sure I’m crazy about it either. I keep asking if perhaps there is a different word that the Lord would rather give me. I keep trying to shake it and replace it with another one. Couldn’t it be “kindness” or “joy?”  But time and time again, through multiple circumstances, it seems as if this is the word He chose for me. 

Courage. 

More specifically – Holy Courage.

If I am honest with myself, I know I need it. I need Holy Courage.

I know I need it for the things I fear and for the things that seem way too big for me to handle.

Let’s take teaching, for example. I’ve been swimming laps back and forth through the book of Acts, researching, writing and asking (begging) the Spirit for wisdom and insight.  Stroke by stroke, breath by breath, at times I weary and worry as to how in the world I am going to pull this off for His name’s sake.

I can feel my insecurities and inadequacies wash over me as I swim these laps.  It does not feel as if I am swimming in a calm, well chlorinated pool, but rather on seas with waves that rise and fall. I’m nervous about not doing a good job. I’m nervous about not doing the thing that I desire to do – please the Lord. I’m nervous about – well, I’m even nervous about being nervous.

I need Holy Courage.

However, as I study, I’m learning that it’s what the early church had through the ministry of the Holy Spirit. It wasn’t something they mustered up on their own; they had it because it was given to them, and they took hold of it.

They had Holy Courage. 

I need Holy Courage.

I have Holy Courage.

I just need to grasp it and believe -- for all the things that are before me in this year, the things I do know and the things I don’t have any idea about … yet.

Jesus said, “Take Courage!  It is I! Don't be afraid!” (Matthew 14:27). He is ever-present; I do not need to fear. I’m working on it, Lord.  Help me to believe.

Do you have a word for the year? 

Postage Stamp Insecurities

I felt my insecurities sticking to me again, like postage stamps on a letter.

I mulled them over in my mind, trying to figure out why they were there and trying to get rid of them. Who knows where they came. I hate how they feel. Maybe you know what I mean.

Finally, I realized today that trying to figure them out by myself wasn’t working. Maybe I should actually talk to God about them, instead. (Why does it take me so long to go to Him, sometimes?)

And here’s what I felt Him impress upon my heart:

#1: Yes, you do have insecurities. Lots of them. I am aware of your struggle with them.

#2: May I remind you that you are “secure in” my love?

#3: I am going to use them to send my message to the world that needs hope and love.

No wonder I kept feeling like they were postage stamps! Maybe that’s exactly what God was trying to tell me, but I was so busy talking to myself, that I didn’t get it. (Common problem of mine. Working on it!) As I accept my security in Him, He is going to use insecurities to send a message to the world about His love.

In acknowledging the reality of the presence of my insecurities, I can be authentic. I can be vulnerable. I can be merciful. They keep me humble. What’s the big surprise about having them, anyway? I know that I’m not perfect and don’t have my act together, and I also know that God can use my weaknesses for good.

I can choose to stop fighting with them and just let them go. I don’t need to dwell on them. I need to dwell with the Lord and rest in my security with Him, for as Deuteronomy 33:12 says, “Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in him, for he shields him all day long, and the one the Lord loves rests between His shoulders.”

So, dear reader, acknowledge what your insecurities are, surrender them to God and let Him use them to speak in to the hearts of others. I believe that He may just use these “postage stamp like insecurities” to send a message of hope to a hurting world – around the block or around the world.