Something in me was eeking to get out on the page. I could just feel it. There was something I wanted to say.
I sat down and started to write.
But, I got nowhere. Sure, there was a phrase here or a thought there, but for the most part – there was nothing.
“Certainly there was something,” I strained intensely.
But, try as I hard as I could -- there was nothing.
I finally gave up.
I had emails that I wanted to respond to. My inbox was full of flagged items from days ago.
“Fine,” I fumed at myself (and semi-secretly at the Lord). “I’ll just forget writing and get something more productive done.”
It was then that I remembered an email, sent from a woman that I do not know. Several days prior, she wrote to me, sharing a portion of her story, and thanking me for a post that I wrote, encouraging me to keep on writing, that it made a difference to her.
I responded back with words of care concerning her particular situation, and gratitude for her note, thanking her for her words of encouragement regarding my writing. I shared with her how just that evening, I wanted to write something, but it just wouldn’t come, and how I was frustrated and doubting my ability. I thanked her for her kindness that helped me persevere.
Within minutes, a note from her pinged in to my email box.
“Oh but Andrea … you did write something tonite! Even if it was just to me … maybe that is all God wanted you to do. Never the less, you blessed me again.”
God used my brief interaction with Trudy to remind me of something very important, that I tend to forget.
I need to be more mindful of what God wants me to do, rather than mindful of what I want to do for God.
Maybe when I give up my way, He uses it to give more?
I mess it up, that’s for sure! I turn it upside down, inside out. I focus on what I can do for Him, and lose sight of what He may be asking me to do.
It applies to my writing and it applies to my life, my relationships, my thinking, my doing.
I’m working on listening to the Lord more, giving up doing and thinking things my way, and trusting Him more.
It's a tough battle for me. Good thing I have Jesus.
What about you? Ever find that the thing the Lord is asking you to do is not what you planned on doing for Him? Have you ever given up your way to find that, in that, He does even more?