Monday, October 26, 2009

No Refund Desired

This afternoon I sat by my fireplace, wrapped in a blanket, pen and notebook nearby, paging through my bible that has outwardly aged significantly over the last year, as I have; we (my bible, the Lord and I) have been close companions. I was thinking of this place of pain that I have journeyed through, and then I felt the tender touch of God remind me that it is a place of praise.

One year ago today I felt as if I was helicopter lifted in to a remote and foreign territory (much like “Survivor Man”), flat on my back, injured and bruised. There did not seem to be a road, or even a hacked down path, just desolation everywhere. The terrain was rugged. It felt like I hit rock bottom, but I couldn’t be sure. Sharp mountain peaks where in view, everywhere I turned. The temperature changes were extreme. The weather was unpredictable, often windy and rainy, at times contrasted by scorching heat. I landed in the wilderness and I did not know where to go, or what to do. I knew that I could not survive on my own or find my way out. I would need to trust the Hand of the only One who knew the way and knew me.

It’s been an adventure trip; still is. I have whitewater rafted down uncertain, frothy, turbulent waters and crawled through dark, twisting, mysterious caves. I have climbed steep cliffs, with rocky outcroppings that have blocked my vision. It has required heroic levels of faith, but I have learned that only in the strength of the greatest Hero of all time, is it possible to climb at all. I have experienced the fog of fear, often thick and damp, evaporate by the warmth of the Son, only to return in the darkness of the cool night; it then dissipates again with the morning Son. I have traversed tall mountains (not with a single bound) and have seen the glory of the Lord, only to return down the mountainside on my journey, with only a memory of His face. At times, the road has been narrow where I walked heal to toe, one foot in front of the other, and learned what it means to walk by faith and not by sight. I have slipped, fallen and been lifted back up again. I have chosen some wrong ways, but have been reminded of the True way, and then gently led back on course. The Word of God – God Himself – has been my compass and my daily sustenance and nourishment. It is the light that shows me the path. I have not been hungry or thirsty, and whenever I grew weary, He strengthened me as I waited upon Him. He has been my Shelter from every storm, and a place of rest for my soul.

I have not reached my destination yet, but I am learning a lot on this journey. I am not the woman that I was when I landed in the middle of nowhere – which was really somewhere to God. I am stronger and wiser because of this -- because of Him. My burdens feel lighter, as I have learned to place them on the strong and capable shoulders of my Savior. They are still real, but I am learning how to deal with them, differently. I love deeper, better, because I have known His deep, deep love.

I did not sign up for this trip, although, it feels like I have paid for it. At times, I wish it was not my journey, and yet, I do not want a refund. The Lord has revealed to me a lot about myself, but even more about Himself, and that makes the trip worth it. I do not know what He has planned down the path. My eyes remain focused on Him. I do praise Him for all He has done in my life and in the life of my family. He has been faithful, and I am fully confident, will remain so, to guide me and love me along the way. Unfailingly.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

A beautifully written story of your faith. You are a strong woman of God. Those around you are blessed to have you in their lives. May your next year be glorious in Him. Thank you.

Jennie said...

Sweet Andrea... on this day filled with lots of emotions, I wish you a filling of the peace of God. I so appreciate how you've used this journey to encourage others to discover the depth of Christ's love for them.

Anonymous said...

my dear freind-
know that you are loved by me and most of all by the One who knows and sees all...i am blessed to call you my dear freind...
thinking of you today...praying that the Lord continue to fill you with wisdom, strength, and love...i am so glad we are in this life journey together...you inspire me to keep running the race...

Anonymous said...

To God be the glory...

My dear sweet Andrea,
I am nowhere near u in this world but God's unique ways find my way to u, for Him to give me enough strength and courage to go through everything im in right now...

I love you in Christ...
God bless you...


-Imee-
Philippines

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