I knew the ground was not fallow for I heard the tender steps of the Farmer and felt His gentle touch, right from the very beginning.
I could not be certain, all the time, what was growing there in the field of “sorrow and suffering” – but I knew it was good, for He had promised me that what He would plant would grow, if I allowed Him to care for me.
He asked me if I would permit Him to work, no matter what it would take. I wanted to be useful to Him. I wanted to grow. And so I gave Him the one thing I could find – a willing heart.
I did my best to trust. The winters were long and hard; the summers dry and hot, but over time, small shoots began to emerge – some growing quicker than others.
The winds blew and strengthened the little plants. The Farmer ploughed the ground with His love. He fertilized with His Word. He brought the Son to comfort. And He used my tears, as they fell from my eyes and landed on my heart, to water the little plants.
“I have planted special seeds in your heart, dear one,” I heard Him whisper, “seeds of grace, compassion, patience, courage, fortitude, gentleness, and many more.”
“But why is it taking so long for them to grow? “ I asked.
“A weed sprouts up quickly, but that for my service grows slowly. Their roots must be firmly established and their stems strong.”
“But, Lord, it is so painful.”
“Rest secure in this, dear one. I love you and I have plans for you -- plans to transform you and to use you. However, it must be done this way – it is the only way for you to know Me deeply and believe in my great love for you. Growing hurts, but I am here to help you. I am the one who tends you with tenderness. You cannot blossom anywhere else than right here.”
The little willing heart was encouraged and realized more and more that striving would not make a difference; only trusting the Farmer would. And regardless of what tomorrow held, the little heart remained just that -- willing.
And so my heart, dear reader, continues to wait and rest upon the Lord. The field of “sorrow and suffering “ are beginning to sprout up with life. The Farmer has been faithful and I believe now more than ever, that He is Who He is, without a doubt. I have learned to love Him in new ways, not because of what He has done, but because of Who He is. And that in itself is a lovely flower that is already blooming.