Monday, October 4, 2010

The Little Girl Within -- Learning that She is Loved

Do you struggle with believing that God’s love is really for you?  Are you scared or unsure that He does?  Today, I share with you a brief letter that my friend Carol Adams sent me regarding the inner struggle of her heart.  Thank you, Carol, for your courage in sharing, not out of a heart that is holding on to the hurt, but out of a heart that is seeking to know, understand and love the Lord, desiring to grow closer to Him.
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I tend to compare God to my earthly father. My earthly father was critical and unloving. My earthly father got very mad at me when I showed emotion, when I was weak, if I was not perfect. He still does.
I work very hard at letting go of my definition of “father.” One of the greatest challenges that I face is knowing that God can and does love me.  I know He is a loving God, but I always think that He is a loving God to everyone else, but not me because I am so unworthy of His love. I always feel like I am a disappointment to Him. I want so much for Him to love me, but for some reason something stops me from feeling like I can let Him.
My first instinct is to put myself down when things don’t go “right.” I am working on accepting myself just how I am, and that it’s OK if I’m not perfect; God still loves me.  It’s OK to be sad, mad, scared, or just out-of-sorts.  Those feelings don’t make me a bad person, they just make me human. I am in the process of trying to realize that my Heavenly Father does love me in spite of my emotions and my weaknesses. 
This is a challenge for me, but I continue to try and accept God’s truths for my life and not listen to the lies.    God is faithful. He is showing me His love in new ways, every day.
Praise God that I do not have to be the same person that I was yesterday.  Every day is such a wonderful opportunity to learn, grow, and become the person that God intended me to be. I love this verse. It brings me hope. “"What this means is that those who become Christians become new persons.  They are not the same anymore, for the old life is gone.  A new life has begun!" 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NLT).
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"Carol is wife and mother of three who loves the Lord. Her interests include photography, scrapbooking, and reading. She appreciates authenticity in others and views each days as an opportunity to learn and grow. She lives in Neenah, Wisconsin.
Do you have a Little Girl Within story that you would like to share? Go here. Guidelines for submission are at the bottom of the post for the start of the series. I would love to hear from you.

6 comments:

Lori said...

Carol,

Thank you for your courage to post this story! I can relate so much to your struggle and yet even more so rejoice with you in our confidence that God loves us with an everlasting love. (Jer. 31:3) I pray you will continue to thrive in His care and see His love for you in new and more beautiful ways each day.

Carol said...

Thank you so much for your encouraging words Lori. They mean so much!! Have a blessed day.

Fran said...

Hi Carol. We have never met but I greatly admire your courage to be so open and honest about your struggle in the areas God is growing you in your relationship with Him. Your heart for Him is very evident. I know He longs for you to know, as He has taught me, that HE IS the definition of Father - and HE is the only One who gets to say who you are. I also know your Heavenly Father would have you know that He does not love you in spite of your weaknesses, but He loves you IN those weaknesses, the very places HE longs to fill up with Himself - His unfathomable love - a love that will flow like a river and pour out of you to others. God bless you, dear sister and thank you for sharing your story. It would be an honor to meet you.

Anonymous said...

Dear Carol, thank you for sharing and revealing a struggle that is shared by many. Your desire to follow Him and know Him more is so encouraging. Stay strong in the truth that you are loved by your Heavenly Father - His love is not dependent on you, but on Him - keep feeding and living off of His character, His Truth and His great love for you.

Reflective reader said...

A thought for all of us to ask ourselves who read these tender and honest, sad, but truth-telling and redemptive stories of God's grace.

"Can we follow the Savior far, who have no wound or scar? "
— Amy Carmichael (God's Missionary)

Andrea @ Unfailingly Loved said...

Dear Carol:

Thanks for sharing your heart and helping others to know that they are not alone. You are loved!

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