Stay Near to Him and Be Not Afraid

I have these "freeze frame" moments from time to time when I say something to my children. It feels as if I am in a movie, the reel stops, and God points out to me, "Did you hear that, Andrea? Remember, that's for you, too."

My baby who is six years old (and who is quick to correct me and tell me that she is NOT the baby but the little sister) and I were leaving a local department store. We hustled to the car, trying to not get too wet from the drizzle. As I went to the driver side of the car, she stopped short and went over to the passenger side. I fumbled with the keys to try and get the car open, but the door would not unlock. I called out for her thinking that she was probably getting nervous on the other side of the car.

"Mom!" she shrieked, as she ran around the back of the car, to my side. "I was scared! Why didn't you open the car door?"

I explained to her that the key fob was not working and then I reassured her, in my "freeze frame" moment, "Honey, if you would stay right near me, then you wouldn't need to be afraid."

My daughter wasn't really being terribly rebellious by going over to the other side of the car, although it wasn't the safest choice. I just think she wasn't paying attention.

I can relate to that. Sometimes, I'm just not paying attention. I wander from a conscious awareness of God's protection and love for me and then something comes up, and because I forget, I fear. I then cry out in a panic, "Where are You? What happened? Why didn't You do what I thought You were going to do?"

God talks a lot about our not being afraid in the Bible. I think it is because He knows that we tend to be, whether we like to admit it or not. We can keep on a pretty tough face, but beneath our "Rocky Balboa" exterior is a tendency to slip in to fear.

We fear all sorts of things, inside and out, little things and enormous things. We do all sorts of things to deal with our fears, some of them destructive. We don't really like to fear; we would much rather experience peace, but we forget or we don't know how to. God offers perfect peace, and His name is Jesus. He is our True Love that casts out all fear. He is the solution to the problem.

Psalm 118:6 says, "The Lord is on my side, I am not afraid!" We can confidently claim this to be true, when we are His. However, sometimes we tend to wander, forget and then we fear. Dear reader, if -- when -- you are afraid, feeling like "Where are you? What happened?" call out to Him and allow Him to comfort you and give you strength for that which He has called you to today. If we stay near Him, we need not be afraid.

Road Closed -- Detour

Being a die-hard creature of habit, every day I drive the same way to bring the kids to school. I don’t even think about it. I just travel the same route, on auto-pilot you could say.

Over the past week, I come to the same place and realize again and again, however, that the road is closed. Some sort of construction work is happening down the road. I can just barely see large dirt moving and digging gigantors lumbering back and forth in the distance. The signs are posted: ROAD CLOSED -- DETOUR. I make a sharp turn left, and take the detour route to school. One would think ( I would think) that I would remember, but I don’t. I keep coming up to the signs and then have to go another way. If I only remembered, I could take another way, be more efficient with my trip and avoid the aggravation of having to drive one more time, out of my way.

Life can be this way. We are creatures of habit, and we do tend to go the same way each day. Usually, we choose what we think is the easiest, productive, beneficial way, and yet sometimes, the road is temporarily closed off to us. We realize that we need to take a detour to get to our destination. This can happen in our activities, our circumstances, our projects, our dreams and in our relationships. It’s hard to see past the signs. The temptation is to ignore them and weave through the barriers and try to find our own way through the construction zone, instead of following the detour, but that usually does not turn out too well; we just end up having to turn around and go the other way, anyway.

So it is, dear reader, at times in our relationships and in our circumstances, God puts up “ROAD CLOSED -- DETOUR” signs. It is hard to know why, most of the time. Sometimes (and sometimes not) we can see past the sign, in to the distance, and realize that He is doing some work down the road that needs to be done. Maybe it is work in another person’s life that is essential for their health and healing. Maybe God detours us around our usual path in a circumstance or a project, in order to do some special work that we cannot do, only He can do. Maybe He takes us out of our way to show us a different view on things, in order to enhance our travel down that same road again.

Of course, all things are under the perfect and loving control of God. We try to peer past the signs and get a glimpse of what is happening down the road, but often we really can’t tell. I don’t know why the road is closed off, just that it is, and then we need to trust that whatever is happening it is for our good. Truth is, reality is, sometimes the road is re-opened and sometimes it is not. It can be frustrating, maddening, often saddening, but God is on His throne and He is working all things for our good and for His glory (Romans 8:28), not only in our lives, but in the lives of the people around us, and somehow He does this all at one time. Next time I come up to that sign (and I am sure I will), I am going to remember this and trust Him for all the detours in my life.

No Refund Desired

This afternoon I sat by my fireplace, wrapped in a blanket, pen and notebook nearby, paging through my bible that has outwardly aged significantly over the last year, as I have; we (my bible, the Lord and I) have been close companions. I was thinking of this place of pain that I have journeyed through, and then I felt the tender touch of God remind me that it is a place of praise.

One year ago today I felt as if I was helicopter lifted in to a remote and foreign territory (much like “Survivor Man”), flat on my back, injured and bruised. There did not seem to be a road, or even a hacked down path, just desolation everywhere. The terrain was rugged. It felt like I hit rock bottom, but I couldn’t be sure. Sharp mountain peaks where in view, everywhere I turned. The temperature changes were extreme. The weather was unpredictable, often windy and rainy, at times contrasted by scorching heat. I landed in the wilderness and I did not know where to go, or what to do. I knew that I could not survive on my own or find my way out. I would need to trust the Hand of the only One who knew the way and knew me.

It’s been an adventure trip; still is. I have whitewater rafted down uncertain, frothy, turbulent waters and crawled through dark, twisting, mysterious caves. I have climbed steep cliffs, with rocky outcroppings that have blocked my vision. It has required heroic levels of faith, but I have learned that only in the strength of the greatest Hero of all time, is it possible to climb at all. I have experienced the fog of fear, often thick and damp, evaporate by the warmth of the Son, only to return in the darkness of the cool night; it then dissipates again with the morning Son. I have traversed tall mountains (not with a single bound) and have seen the glory of the Lord, only to return down the mountainside on my journey, with only a memory of His face. At times, the road has been narrow where I walked heal to toe, one foot in front of the other, and learned what it means to walk by faith and not by sight. I have slipped, fallen and been lifted back up again. I have chosen some wrong ways, but have been reminded of the True way, and then gently led back on course. The Word of God – God Himself – has been my compass and my daily sustenance and nourishment. It is the light that shows me the path. I have not been hungry or thirsty, and whenever I grew weary, He strengthened me as I waited upon Him. He has been my Shelter from every storm, and a place of rest for my soul.

I have not reached my destination yet, but I am learning a lot on this journey. I am not the woman that I was when I landed in the middle of nowhere – which was really somewhere to God. I am stronger and wiser because of this -- because of Him. My burdens feel lighter, as I have learned to place them on the strong and capable shoulders of my Savior. They are still real, but I am learning how to deal with them, differently. I love deeper, better, because I have known His deep, deep love.

I did not sign up for this trip, although, it feels like I have paid for it. At times, I wish it was not my journey, and yet, I do not want a refund. The Lord has revealed to me a lot about myself, but even more about Himself, and that makes the trip worth it. I do not know what He has planned down the path. My eyes remain focused on Him. I do praise Him for all He has done in my life and in the life of my family. He has been faithful, and I am fully confident, will remain so, to guide me and love me along the way. Unfailingly.

Sin and the Snake

Caution -- Reader Discretion Advised. The following content may be disturbing, convicting and impact your view on sin and life.

Several years ago, I heard Jill Briscoe tell a story of a man who owned a circus in the 1800’s. His circus was very famous, in particular, for the work he did with snakes. At one point, he held a baby snake in his hand. It stayed there, contentedly slithering between his fingers and resting in his palm. Over time, the snake grew, and the man continued to “work” with it. It had become accustomed to the man who eventually trained it to do a most unusual trick. The man would stand in the middle of the stage and the snake, now a full grown python, would coil itself around the man – around and around, upward and upward until the audience could no longer see the man. People came from all over and they were astonished at what this snake could do.

Crowds of people stood witness to this most extraordinary event, time after time, and the man and his snake were famous for their duet. One day, however, during a performance, a blood-curdling scream rippled across the stage from where the man and the snake stood intertwined. The python constricted itself, breaking the bones of the man and suffocating him. The man died, with the snake wrapped around him from head to toe.

“Sin is like the snake,” Jill Briscoe said. “We play with it, and we play with it and we play with it – until it plays with us.”

I’ve thought a lot about that story. To this very day, when I think of it, my gut is sickened, my heart is convicted and my love of Jesus intensifies.

Our sin may start out small. Alcohol. Drugs. Gossip. Slander. Pride. Selfishness. Lust. Materialism. A critical spirit. Unhealthy people pleasing behavior. Excessive need for approval. Deceitfulness. Whatever it is, we play with it and we play with it. As it grows we may not be aware of the power it is having over us. We think we have control over it and we sorely believe that we have trained it not to hurt us. At some point, though, the sin may begin to coil around us to the point that we are not seen any more, only the sin. It has hidden us from who we are and if it is not taken captive, it may eventually crush us. Suffocate us. Break us and even steal our life from us. It is a chilling reality of the power of sin in our lives.

Proverbs 5:23 says, “The evil deeds of a wicked man ensnare him; the cords of his sin hold him fast. He will die for lack of discipline, led astray by his own great folly.”

But there is hope. We are not left alone to wrestle the beast to the ground and overcome it in our own strength. The good news is that we have a hope in the One who said He would crush the head of the serpent. Choose Jesus. Pursue God and His Word, the Bible, in order to see the sin as it starts and grows. Repent of it; flee from it; run as fast as you can in the other direction.

We play with it, and we play with it and we play with it – until it plays with us. Dear reader, search your heart today and believe in the One who can set you free from the cords of sin. Only in Jesus power is it possible. It is true.

Sifting and Sorting

Last night I started a new family tradition – a “Sunday Evening Sock Sorting Party.” (Can one say “tradition” with only doing it once?) We dumped a laundry basket full of unmatched socks in to the middle of the room, sat around it like campers around and a campfire, and got to work. There were lots and lots of socks that were gathered from every corner of the house following a bedroom cleaning bonanza. Big socks. Little socks. Long socks. Short socks. Socks of every color. There were socks with holes, socks that had been chewed on by the dog, and even socks that no longer had a match. (Where do those “other” socks go, by the way?)

We even had cake and ice cream to follow. What’s a party without food? I tried to convince them that some day they would be telling their children and grandchildren about the great “Sock Sorting Party” tradition that I started. They looked at me like I was strange. At least we had fun, and the work got done, and we made a memory. Well, at least I did.

Looking at all those socks made me think, not so much about the party (although I thought it rather clever), but how sometimes life feels like a heap of unmatched socks. It can look like and feel like a mess – sometimes for a day, sometimes for a week, and sometimes much, much longer. There is a lot that needs to be sorted through, we are “out of sorts” and we don’t know what to do.

Let’s face it, we all need help. We need Someone to help us make sense of the messiness, to discern the problem and aid us with a solution. We need Someone in charge, who can help us gather up all the pieces – all shapes and sizes – and bring guidance and understanding to the chaos.

Dear reader, that Someone is the Lord. The socks can’t find their match and order themselves, and nor can I. On those days (or weeks, or months), when all is a mess, I need to try and dump it all out before God, and ask for His assistance. I need him to help me to “sift and sort” and come to an understanding of what is happening and what I need to do. I need discernment and wisdom to handle the mess, and to do so with godliness.

Hosea 14:9 says, “Who is wise? He will realize these things. Who is discerning? He will understand them. The ways of the LORD are right; the righteous walk in them…”

Feeling like your life is a pile of unmatched socks today? Ask the Lord to help you discern and be wise, and then trust that He will give you what you need to get the job done. It may not feel like a party, but there will be some joy in it, as you see Him work in and through you.

A Love Letter Unaware

I probably saw it hundreds of times (and I am not exaggerating) if not more over the years, in the parking lot where my children attend school. The license plate on the car read “HELVSU.” Clever license plates often draw my attention. This one had me stumped at first. I finally resolved that it must be a city somewhere in Norway, and the people who drove the car must be from Norwegian descent. How wrong I was.

The other day, I picked up the children and as we were heading out of the parking lot my oldest daughter said, “Mom? Do you see that license plate? I think I finally figured it out! It says, “He loves you!” I looked, and there it was, as clear as day. How could I not have seen it? These letters did not reveal a frigid Baltic Sea city but rather a truth from a Holy God. He loves you. My daughter and I had both missed the obvious, right before our eyes, day after day. How surprised we were!

I wonder how many times I miss it – we miss it. God is scripting His love all around us and we don’t even see it, sometimes in the simple things of life, and other times in the complex times of life.

The message of His love is rustling through the leaves. It is splashed in the rain, scribbled on the movement of the clouds and bouncing in the laughter of a child. It is blowing in the flurry of the snow, bursting forth from the ground in the flowers of Spring and swirled in the wind. We experience God's love letter as it overflows in our joy. And the truth is that God's love letter is also present in our pain and is traced in our tears.

God was writing to me a note of encouragement – a love letter – right before my eyes, in a small way but I missed it. Dear reader, look for the message of God’s love that He is sending to you. He may be revealing it to you anywhere, at any time. It may be hard to see, at least it is for me, but He is calling to us and His love is an abundant, unfailing pursuing love. Trust Him. Even in times of great sorrow, confusion, despair or disappointment – His love is present and real. He loves you.

Persevering Despite Obstacles

The other day someone close to me asked me, “Do you really believe what you write? Do you really believe that God can and will redeem? Do you really believe that He can take broken pieces and restore them?”

I will admit, at first (and second and third) I was not very pleased with the question. I perceived a challenging tone of voice from the inquirer, and it bothered me. My answer was this. “Yes, as a matter of fact, I do believe what I write. Regrettably, however, I do not always believe it consistently or perfectly. I struggle, too, but I do believe the truths that God has revealed to me.”

Perhaps this persons attempt was not to insult me, but it did make me stop and think – a lot.

You see, dear reader, on this blog and in other venues, my desire is to write and share the truths that God shows me through His wise and precious Word and through the circumstances around me that He has uses to help me visualize the truth. (I am very much a visual learner!) And although I do believe it, unfortunately, I do not always believe it perfectly. I flounder around from time to time. I let the obstacles of doubt and fear and anger and resentment get in the way, but when I see them looming ahead (or in my head) I try to stop, take a deep breath and remember the truth. God’s truth.

I believe the truth because I have lived it and continue to live it out on this journey that God has me on. I know for sure that Jesus is real, for God has taken this truth and hand knit it into the fiber of my being stitch by stitch. It is part of me, and cannot be taken from me.

I wish I believed more consistently and perfectly, but I know that I don’t and that helps to keep me humble and dependent on the Lord. In the meanwhile, I persevere and not give up out of my love for Him. I trust that He will use my perseverance to help me face the obstacles that are in my way and crawl over them, through them and around them. Perseverance strengthens my faith.

In James 1:2-4 says “Consider it pure joy … whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking any thing.”

I will not give up believing in God’s truths, and my prayer is that you will not, either. There will be times when our faith is tested, either by circumstances or by people. Do not be frustrated when you do not do it “perfectly” but rather persevere and run the race, overcoming the obstacles and growing in your faith.

God Can Use Our Brokenness

Perhaps it is the autumn soups, stews and breads, but I seem to have “bread” on my mind. Quite a few years ago I read words that Elisabeth Elliot heard from a speaker while she was a Wheaton College student (Nov/Dec 2000 Elisabeth Elliot Newsletter).

“If your life is broken when given to Jesus, it may be because pieces will feed a
multitude, when a loaf would satisfy only a little lad.”

I’ve been thinking about that little lad, and I’ve been thinking about Jesus. (You can read the account of the interaction in John 6:1-15).The little lad could have kept his bread for himself, and been satisfied, but instead he offered it to Jesus to do with it as Jesus pleased. Was it a suffering? I don’t know -- maybe, maybe not. Maybe he was very hungry, and really wanted it. Maybe his mom needed it. Regardless, Jesus took it, and made it “food” for a multitude. Truth is, He could have fed the multitude out of nothing at all (He had been known to rain down manna and quail, as well as creating the world out of nothing) but He chose to use the offering of a little boy. What a privilege. What a hope.

God can use our lives in the same way. He will take what we give Him, even our sadness, our heartache, and our fears and losses, and transform them to help many. How He does it, I will never know, but I have seen it, and I believe it is true.

Sometimes in our trials we are able to tell of God’s love and faithfulness in ways and with a depth that we would not otherwise have. We can be the hands and feet and words that are a testimony of His power and His grace. I know that in my life, I have needed to see God lived out in the lives of others to help me with my doubt, and the testimony of one who has walked through suffering and trusted God is a powerful one, indeed. These are the people who can speak to our hearts because they have been there, done that, and gotten the T-shirt. They are authentic and open.

The suffering of our precious Savior revealed to us the reality of His love for His Father and His love for us. The multitude of souls in this time, still need to be shown that there are those who will, out of their love for the Lord, trust and obey Him in whatever circumstance. It is not an easy job, but God equips and He is the one who does the transformation, making much out of little.

What may God be asking you to present to Him today, dear reader? What is broken in your life that He will use to feed the multitude? You just never know. Trust Him to work His miraculous power in your life, just as He did with what the little lad was willing to place in His hands.

Give Us Today Our Daily Bread

My youngest daughter is learning the “Lord’s Prayer.” She walks around the house, prompted by her next sister in line, reciting the words to the familiar prayer that Jesus taught us to pray. “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Your name, Your kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us today our daily bread … (Matthew 6:9-11).

What struck me today is the line “Give us today our daily bread.”

So often, I think of this line as a request to God to (please!) meet my needs. I know that the bread represents the necessities of life, not the luxuries. I try and attempt to honestly discern what the one is from the other. Not always easy, but I do try to do so.

In praying so, I ask the Lord to provide for my physical needs – food, clothing, a shelter to reside in. However, when I think about it, I know that I also have other needs – needs to be strong in the Lord, mighty for battle, filled with grace and filled with the Fruit of the Spirit. These, amongst others -- are my spiritual needs.

What would it look like if we were to pray with our “spiritual needs” in mind? What if we could sincerely say, “Lord, give me, today what I need to grow spiritually? Please give me this bread.” In fact, if we are lovers of the Lord, this is what we do desire – to grow in the love and knowledge of Jesus, and to become more like Him, and (I must admit, I wince here) to do so, no matter the cost.

Perhaps what we need to cultivate and grow our spiritual life is rest (and God will give this when needed), but more likely as the scriptures point out, it is in the trial that we grow.

The bread that we need may be a hard truth to discern, a frustration to be patient with or strife to be at peace with. It may be an opportunity to exercise wisdom, a hardship to endure, a heart ache to relinquish in to the hands of the Lord and thereby learn trust. It may be a betrayal, a disappointment, loneliness or rejection. The bread to nourish our souls may be an incorrigible person that needs to be cared about, an opportunity to learn how to draw a boundary in love, or harsh situation in which to learn gentleness. The bread may be found in opportunities in our churches, our homes, our prisons, our relationships, our loneliness, our anger, our sorrow and our fears.

The bread to nourish may be an unlikely, unwelcome and unappetizing “food” but it is often the thing that makes us grow, when given to us by the hand of God. I guess when I openly stop and think about it, these things are the source of nourishment that the Lord has used (and is using) to grow me day by day. Truthfully, some days I receive them graciously and other days I struggle to choke them down.

Dear reader, look to see what bread the Lord provides for you today to change and cultivate your soul. He will give you just what you need. Be strengthened in this. You are not alone in the process of growth. God is with you.

God's Rescuing, Delivering Love

I woke up this morning with the chains of sorrowful memories tightening around my heart and I felt claustrophobic within the tight place of disgust, disappointment and maybe even, despair.

Anniversaries can be sweet times of remembrance of joyful occasions, but they can also be grief filled times when they mark hard, heart breaking events.

All I could think of this morning was, “I need some time with the Lord, desperately.” I knew that I needed time with Him to remember Who He was, which of course is Who He is, and remember what He has done for me and in me. I needed to be realigned, refocused, and held by Him. And so, this is what I have been doing, reading over my bible, noting the truths in His Word and noting the words that I sketched in the margins of my bible, marking the moments in time when He spoke to me, over the years.

My encouragement to you today is that God is faithful – always faithful. Others will fail you, but God will not. Psalm 37:39-40 says, “The salvation of the righteous comes from the Lord; He is their stronghold in time of trouble. The Lord helps them and delivers them.”

God is our Stronghold – a strongly fortified defensive structure. He is our Helper and our Deliverer. We do not need to feel bound by the chains of past heart ache, for He can and will deliverer us from all that hinders and holds us back from having a full life in Him. He has set an impenetrable fortress around our heart and it is called Love.

So, dear reader, when you feel the tightening grip of difficult memories, run to the One who can free you again and again. In the powerful and all-loving name of Jesus, call out to the Lord, and ask Him to set your heart free. Replace the visual of the claustrophobic chains with the visual of the truth of the Arms of your Rescuing Deliverer. He safely, securely wraps His love around your heart, protecting you, cherishing you, repairing you and redeeming you, for He loves you with an unfailing love.

Please Reassure My Heart, Lord

I suppose the weather being blustery and cold didn’t help. I noticed my eight year old daughter scampering around this morning, both in body and in mind. She wasn’t sure whether she could wear something to school (because of dress code), her notebook needed to be signed, her hair needed to be done, and she hadn’t a chance to eat much. As I was pulling up her hair in to a pony tail, she let out a sigh of exasperation, “I just know this is going to be the worst day ever.”

Shortly thereafter, while everyone else hustled to the car, I noticed her at the pantry door, whimpering.

“What’s wrong, dear?” I said.

“I forgot to pack my lunch and now I’m going to be late!”

I asked her to stop what she was doing and look at my face, as I reassured her. “Oh, honey, try to calm down and take one thing at a time. You are going to be fine. There is plenty of time. All you need to do is ask for help. You don’t have to do it all on your own. I know you are trying to be responsible, but everyone needs some assistance. It’s part of my job to help you; please ask me when you need it. I love you.”

Right then, I knew that if I had been in a movie, the screen would have frozen and the narrator’s voice would have boomed from above, “Did you hear what you just said, Andrea? Are you listening? You are your daughter, and I am you. This is true for your life, too.”

Sometimes, we find ourselves convinced, before we even step in to the day that it is going to be the worst day ever. One thing after another goes wrong, our plates are too full, we have too many balls in the air, and it feels as if it is all going to fall apart. Not to mention, there are the internal struggles stirring around inside of us like fears, jealousy, disappointment, and more. Ugh. Oh, what to do?

“There is no one like the God of Jeshurun (Israel), who rides on the heavens to help you and on the clouds in His majesty. The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms” (Deuteronomy 33:26-27).

Dear reader, when you find yourself overwrought, ask the Lord for help and reassurance of His presence. Allow Him to wrap His strong yet gentle arms around you. The One who holds the Universe together is the one Who loves you. Everywhere you are, He is right there. Receive the comfort that He has for your heart. He says to you, “Calm down, dear one. Just ask for My help. I know that you are trying your best, but everyone needs some assistance. You cannot do this life on your own. Lean on Me. Helping you is what I love to do, because I love you. Take one thing at time, you are going to be fine because you are mine.”

When we got in the car, I asked my daughter, “Are you better? What can I do to help you not feel as sad, before you go to school? Do you need a hug?” A smile appeared on her face. She quickly unbuckled and leaned over the driver seat where I sat, turned in her direction. I held her for a few minutes, and then we were on our way. I think she was reassured and felt better, and thanks to what the Lord showed me about myself and Him, so do I.

Repairing the Tear

My friend Sara is a Speech and Language Pathologist. She shared with me a concept that she uses with her elementary school friends who have challenges. When they have done something wrong to someone -- a tear -- she encourages them to say they are sorry, but then she also speaks to them about the next step of importance -- “repairing the tear.”

She presents to them a visual of something being torn. Sometimes they are little rips, and sometimes they are big rips, even really big rips, resulting in two separate pieces. When something is torn, it is different. It is not the same anymore.

When they have hurt someone (either physically or emotionally), they need to say they are sorry. They need to express that they will try not to do it again, and then they need to show the person that they are sorry. It may be a kind word, a helpful hand, a note or a picture. Some attempt to do something to “repair the tear” is necessary to show that the words “I am sorry” have meaning and that the one they have hurt has value, as well.

I’ve been thinking a lot about “repairing the tear” and how it applies to all of us. There are tears that we make and tears that are inflicted upon us. There are tears that are short and tears that are long. There are tears that are shallow and tears that are deep. There are tears that can even go straight through our heart. We can feel as if our heart is completely torn in two with all the contents spilling out. There are tears of infidelity, gossip, slander, selfishness, anger, abuse, deception and much more. There are tears from when we are little and from when we are older. There are tears that need some mending and tears that need a long operation of repair. There are tears that are quickly mended, and others that require much time.

Dear reader, where do you find yourself today? Maybe you have torn something and need to humbly take responsibility, repent and move towards repairing the tear. Ask the Lord to go with you and humbly seek out the heart of the one you care for and work to “repair the tear.” He is faithful to guide you as you walk in obedience to repent and change.


Or maybe you have been hurt, and sadly enough, the one who hurt you is not interested in repairing the tear, leaving you feeling as if you are damaged goods. Have hope, dear reader, and be comforted and strengthened in this – the Lord is the master Tailor who can mend and restore any tear. Submit your torn and frayed heart to the hand of God. He will come in and do His work to make you complete again. He will care for you, gently holding you in His hand and bringing the jagged edges of your heart back together, stitch by stitch, grace by grace.

Safe and Sound

I looked out the window of the restaurant near the top of the John Hancock building in Chicago. I just completed lunch with my daughter and her friend, and we were making plans to head home. I peered out over the landscape and contemplated taking an alternative route. It surely appeared that the road heading north along the shore would bring me right where I wanted to go. We descended from our perch on high, loaded the car, and drove off along the route that I was certain would be best.

It really didn’t take all that long for me to realize that I was wrong. I thought it looked as if I could go north for quite awhile, but found myself with no other option than to go west. Before I knew it, I was weaving my way through all sorts of neighborhoods in the northern parts of Chicago, traveling west, north, south and east, again and again. I kept a close eye on the store fronts and intersections, hoping that I was not crossing in to more tenuous territory, but I was getting concerned. I was lost and had no idea where I was or even how to get back to where I had been. I did not have a map. Looking at the digital compass in my car was not helping. I did not have a GPS to plug in my destination point. I was in trouble, and I was feeling foolish.

Then I remembered -- OnStar. I had Onstar in the vehicle! Other than using it to unlock my doors when I had locked my keys in the car a half dozen or more times, I had never used it; I was desperate to try.


And, sure enough, it worked. I pushed the button and within seconds a friendly voice greeted me using my full name and introducing herself. “How can I help you today, Andrea?” I could feel my blood pressure lower just at the sound of her voice and the knowledge that she even knew my name!

I explained to her that I was lost and went through the story. Before I could even finish, she gently interrupted with, “Oh, I see just where you are. You are on “such and such a street” and should be crossing over “such and such a street.” No problem, Andrea. I can get you to just where you want to go. Don’t worry. I’ll stick right here with you and guide you along the way.”

And she did. Each intersection along the way she indicated where I was. She would tell me when I was approaching a new street or landmark, how long until I would need to turn, which lane I should get in to, which way I was to turn, and exactly when I was to turn. She stayed present in the vehicle with me until I was safely on the highway that I needed to be on, that would lead me home.

“Is there anything else I can help you with today, Andrea?” she graciously asked. I was tempted to ask for a cup of tea to calm my nerves, but then I realized that she had already done that. Her knowing who I was, where I was, and how and where I needed to go in order to get back on track was a great comfort to me.

So many times I have thought of this story. It happened a year ago, but it comes back to my mind when I find myself not so much lost in the car, but just lost in what I am to do next. Sometimes I get off track, I think I know the best way to go, but I don’t, and I need some help. Sometimes, I am just plain old perplexed. The road signs are all boggled up, and I need direction. Sometimes, I am hurt, or scared, or sad, or overwhelmed or just confused.

Thankfully, the Lord is ready, able and present to help. Psalm 145:17-19 says, “The Lord is righteous in all His ways and loving toward all He has made. The Lord is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; He hears their cry and saves them.”


Lost wondering what to do next, dear reader? Confused about a circumstance in your life? Feeling off track and in need of guidance? Wandering around and not seeing any familiar landmarks? Not sure where to go or how to respond to a difficult situation? Frustrated with yourself over wrong choices you may have made? In need of wisdom and direction? Call out to the Lord and listen to His voice. He is present. He knows your name. He knows where you are and He is faithful to direct you in the way you should go, safe and sound.

Come Dear One, and Hold My Hand

Getting out of my car at the grocery store, I noticed a little girl of about four or five years old. With a teddy bear gripped in one arm, she ran through the parking lot, headed towards the store doors. Following in close pursuit, her mother called to her, “Come here, dear, right now! Hold my hand! Parking lots are dangerous. You could get hit by a car or fall and hurt yourself. Please hold on to my hand!”

Thankfully, there are no other details to my story, other than what God impressed upon my heart. There was a chance that the outcome could have been different …

Are we not like that little child sometimes? We are going from here to there, either physically, emotionally or spiritually, at a rapid rate. We try and grip all sorts of things for security (like the teddy bear), but these things do not provide for us what the Lord does. Our Father in heaven calls out to us, “Come here, dear one, I love you. Hold my hand. My hand is not a restraining one, but a loving one. It is dangerous out there. Let me guide you, protect you and lead you, safely.”

Psalm 139:10 says, “… Your hand will guide me; your right hand will hold me fast.” God is ever present, calling to us when we walk the wrong way and try and dart out from under His love and His commands for us. He is aware of the dangers that are around us. We may be unaware, but He is ever aware.

The little child needed to slow down, listen, reach out for a loving hand and hang on, and so do we. We need to realize that our security is not from the things that we hold on to, but from the One who is willing to hold our hand. Reach out, dear reader, and grasp the strong and gentle hand of God today, for He loves you very much.

A Walk Down Memory Lane

I sat down to work on a short devotional that I was asked to present at our women’s Bible study. Instead of looking through other books, I decided that I would review my blog and see if there was anything that I could tie in to the lesson that was being taught from the book of Deuteronomy.

As I walked down memory lane, through the myriad of entries over the past ten months, I realized that I had posted over one hundred twenty times. My desire had been, back in December of 2008, to share stories and truths about what God was teaching me through a great time of trial. I had set out to look for Him amidst the days (and nights) and to record all that I learned about Him and about myself, hoping that it would be an encouragement to others. What I didn't realize at the time was how valuable what I wrote would be to me. I now am able to look back and remember where I was, Who God was and is, and how He brought me out of my own “Egypt” step by step. And He continues to do so.

What I can say today with great certainty, because I have lived it, is that God is amazing. As I look back through the months entries, I now know that I would never have remembered all of the details if I had not written them down. Only because I recorded them, time and time again, can I now remember and be assured of Who God is. God is faithful. He is my Redeemer. He is my Strong Tower. He is my Fortress, my Protector, my Counselor, and the Lover of my soul. He does show up (not that He ever left); He is ever present. I am His treasured possession. I do not need to worry. Truly, He has taken care of all of my yesterdays and will continue to take care of all of my tomorrows.

Remembering, dear reader, helps to combat doubt and despair. My friend Lori is teaching our women’s study right now and she so clearly and wisely said, “Remembering what God has done gives us confidence in His character.” She is right, and as I look through the months, I can see how, like the Israelites, the Lord, has carried me (Deuteronomy 1:31) and I have grown to know Him deeply and love Him more.

I am so thankful that I started this blog. At first, I wasn't sure what direction it would take or if I could even keep up with it. I guess that is testimony to God's faithfulness, in itself. Not only do I believe that God has used it (and is using it) as part of His healing balm for me, He is also using it as a continual reminder of His unfailing love.

Today, I encourage you to remember what God has done in your life. Begin a journal or a blog and record what He is teaching you and how He is comforting you. As you seek and write down the pearls that God gives you, you will grow more confident in God’s character, His faithfulness and so much more. You will have a living testimony of God’s love for you.

(P.S. If you start a blog, let me know; I’d love to follow the story that He is writing in your life. It would bring me great joy to hear more about His character and His love, through you.)

Anxiety Relief

I haven’t seen the commercial for years, but the tune was a catchy one. “Plop! Plop! Fizz! Fizz! Oh! What a relief it is!” The solution to the plague of indigestion and whatever may have caused it came in the form of two white tablets that would bubble and bubble and then take your grief away. How I wish that this was true for all ailments of anxiety!

If we had to be honest with ourselves, and why wouldn’t we be, we all struggle with anxiety from time to time, and sometimes, more frequently and intensely than others. The feeling is all too familiar. It may start as an unsettled feeling in the heart, and before long, permeates the whole body causing a sensation of fullness in the gut, throbbing in the head, and jittering of the limbs, or at least some variation of that. Our pulse quickens and our heart beats scatter like the marks of a seismograph right before an earthquake. I hate the feeling, and I suspect that you do, too.

The thing is not so much that we struggle with it, but what do we do with it? Oh, in time, each of us has developed all sorts of solutions to the feeling of anxiety. We want to shed it, get rid of it, escape it – and we’ll do just about anything to do it. We tend to look for extremes in order to try and get the sticky, icky cling-on of anxiety off of us. We’ll overeat, overreact or over-drink. We’ll exercise too much or adapt the position of a couch potato. We’ll shop, drink too much coffee, indulge in massive amounts of chocolate or crawl up under the covers and try to hibernate till warmer, sunnier days. We over talk our anxiety, running to the door (or phone) of anyone who will listen, or we pull our heads in to our shells and camp out there. We may watch too much TV, spend too much time on the Internet, or engage in risk taking behavior.

I believe that God knows what we are prone to do. He knows our make-up and all of its weaknesses, but He gives us a solution. He says that we are to not be anxious and to cast our cares upon Him. He knows that we tend to get relief from our anxieties through lots of things, and let’s face it, we do. We want to cast them on other things, beside Him, and guess what? It does not work, and in truth, it causes more anxiety. The things we are tempted to try add to our anxieties not relieve them. Try as we will, as soon as we turn around they are stuck to us again like a piece of lint that will not go away, on a dry, static-y winter day.

We need to stop and acknowledge the unhealthy things that we tend to do when we are anxious. When we are unable to see and own our weaknesses, then they are more likely to have control over us. Identifying and acknowledging the sneaky bandits is the first step – or is it? No, wait a minute … I’m thinking not, what the Lord would say is to “seek Him.” Don’t put all these other things first. Seek Him and live (Amos 5:4).

Yes, dear reader, as I process through these thoughts on anxiety today, I would say that this is it. Looking for relief from your anxiety? Seek the Creator of the Universe who loves you with a relentless, unfailing love, first. Ask Him to come in and calm your anxious spirit and give you peace. Then, ask Him to reveal to you where you run and try to hide and find your comfort – a false comfort. Ask Him to show you healthy ways for you to relieve your stress, activities and thoughts that will not harm you, nor hurt you but will help you. Ask Him for perspective, His perspective, on what is going on in your life. He is our “Wonderful Counselor” the “Prince of Peace” (Isaiah 9:6) who will be your All in all.

Compassion and Comfort

I lounged back in the chair at the dentist office. The hygienist and I exchanged light conversation, but quickly it developed a more tender tone as she shared with me the recent news of her mother’s death. She talked and I mumbled in the vernacular of “patient at the dentist with the mouth wide open,” listening intently to stories of bits and pieces of her mother’s life and death. Suddenly, her eyes, peering over the edge of her mask, welled up with tears and mine, hidden behind the lenses of the protective eye wear, did as well. She portrayed the grief of having lost a dear one, and I felt a wave of compassion as memories of similar and not so similar losses were refreshed in my heart and mind.

Compassion. It is a beautiful experience in the life of a person, and a powerful one. God is full of never-ending compassion. It seems to me that compassion is cultivated by the loving hand of God in the fertile field of our own suffering. There the small seed takes root as we experience the comfort and compassion of God in our lives, through our own heartaches and struggles. Over time, as God tills and tends the field of our suffering, He brings forth the most fruitful and abundant of harvests. Compassion (amongst many other virtues) grows and becomes a source of refreshment and nourishment to others.

Compassion is different from “feeling sorry” for someone else’s difficulties and hurts. “Feeling sorry” is often a fleeting thought or sense of concern, but compassion is a deep tenderheartedness that is willing to suffer with another, and leads to action. Compassion is moving beyond ourselves and in to the lives and hearts of other people, both friends and foes. It is here that we can take the lessons and love that God has given us through our own ordeals and care and comfort others.

2 Corinthians 1:3 says, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” God showers us with His comfort, and in turn we are not only comforted but our compassion grows and blooms so that we are able to pass on His comfort to others.

Dear reader, “…as God’s chosen people, hold and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion” (Colossians 3:12). Our struggles do not need to be the same in order for us to have compassion and bring comfort to others. We need only to be willing to reach out with a helping hand or an encouraging word, provide a shoulder to cry on, an understanding patience, a timely prayer, a hug, or a moment of silent shared tears. And in doing this, God uses us as a vehicle to transfer His grace and comfort to another whereby they are blessed and so are we. Somehow, God can use an opportunity for us to be compassionate to another as a stream that carries the vessels of healing, both in the lives of others and at the same time, in our own. I know it helped me today; I pray it helped my hygienist, as well.

Pencil? Marker? Ball Point Pen?

The other day I grabbed a pencil and some note cards and went down to the lake to write down some things that were on my mind. The ideas began to flow, but as I put the pencil to the paper, I realized that the pencil was dull. It had a little bit of life left in it, but not much. Before long I was sketching out words partly in lead and partly in wood scratches.

And then an “out of the blue” thought popped in to my mind, “Right now, am I more of a pencil, a marker or a pen?”

Am I pencil, who needs sharpening when I wear down? Do I need to stop and be reminded and sharpened by the truth of God’s Word in order to be an instrument for His use? Am I dull and therefore not able to do the work that God has set out for me?

Or am I a marker that is drying out? Call it burn out or over-use syndrome , do I need to steal away to a protected place and become refreshed again? Do I need time for restoration and renewal?

Or am I ball point pen that has completely run out of ink and needs a new cartridge? Are there parts of my life that are no longer beneficial to myself or others? Are there parts that are not bringing glory to God? Are there “dead” parts within me that need to be replaced with life?

How about you, dear reader? Are you worn down and feeling like you are of little use to God? Turn to the Lord and ask Him to show you what you can do. Do you need to be sharpened and reminded of God’s truth, by His Word? Do you need to sequester away and be refreshed and revitalized? Or do you need ask God to remove the parts that are no longer of use, and replace them with new power and strength so that you are equipped to follow and serve Him?

For me, perhaps it is a bit of each. Burn out sets in when I am tired, not seeking God faithfully in His Word, guarding my time in prayer, or evaluating my life and asking God to remove those parts that are not godly or honoring to Him. Thankfully, God is faithful and always present to restore and make us useful for His service. We are His instruments of peace and grace. God chooses to use our lives to write the story of His love which He in turn will use to bring life to the world around us.

Oh! Me of Little Faith

The other day I found myself saying on more than one occasion “If it’s not one thing it’s another.” In retrospect, it’s really a silly statement, stating the more than obvious. Of course there is always something happening, and yet, we usually grumble these words when we are in series of difficulties, and not when we are experiencing joys strung together like a string of pearls.

You see, in addition to a multitude of other “issues” our cat went missing. Unfortunately, we didn’t note his absence until dusk, when it is next to impossible to spot anything in the near darkness of the night. We prayed. We made signs. We rang doorbells. We called his name (although he is not known for bounding at attention when we do so).We prayed some more. We walked around the block with a flashlight. We crawled behind bushes. Eventually, the darkness of the night closed in around us and we went indoors to wait it out.

My oldest daughter placed food and a kennel on the back porch, and we began to formulate our plan for the night. Who would sleep on the floor next to the screen door, available for the cat’s hopeful return? How would we fit at least five people on the kitchen rug, and who was willing to extend in to the family room? What if he didn’t return? When would we call the Humane Society? Should we leave the food indoors or outdoors? Would a wild animal eat the food?

And then out of nowhere, we heard a “meow” and there he was, standing by the screen door.

“Oh, you of little faith” was the first thing that popped in to my mind, and I immediately developed a pit in my heart that sprouted forth with disappointment in my lack of faith; I was humbled. I had prayed for the cat’s return, but not whole heartily. No sooner did we realize the cat was gone that the “what if’s” marched right in and set up camp. There they quickly unpacked, got out the artillery and were ready and armed to wage war against my faith, and they seemed to be winning.

I forgot and feared, when I need to remember and rely. I was afraid. I was flooded with memories of other times when I had prayed for one thing, and God had given me another. What I forgot was that when God had said “no” to a prayer, He had something different in mind and He was not going to leave me alone, unequipped of His grace to handle it.

Dear reader, perhaps you have experienced a similar wavering in your faith, either in a small way or a large one. In the gospels I see Jesus interacting with those who love Him, during challenging times, and I hear Him saying to them, “Oh, you of little faith!” This statement from Jesus usually came right after the disciples had witnessed a miracle like the feeding of the five thousand. Phew! I am not alone! In the book of Mark (9:22-24) Mark shares the story of man who is pleading with Jesus to heal his son. The father said, “But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us.” Jesus responds with, “’If you can?’ Everything is possible for him who believes.” Immediately the father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief.” The father had belief and unbelief present at the same time.

The cat showed up within the hour of when our search started. Although my faith at that moment was weak, God chose to have the cat return. However, I think God had something bigger to show me – my unbelief. I’m not sure I totally understand it, but I am convicted of it, and humbled by it. Somehow, I too, have belief and yet, unbelief.

And so tonight, and I am sure for days to come, my prayer is: Dear Lord, please help me with my unbelief. I love you and want to follow you. Whether it is one thing, or another, help me to remember what You have done for me and help me to rely on You.

Listening for the Voice of God

Early in the morning, I sat along the shore of the lake. The sun was glistening off of the top of the water. A gentle breeze refreshed the air with the aroma of Autumn. I set out to practice “intentional listening.”

Faint voices reflected across the water. A fish jumped. A flock of geese flew overhead. A dog barked, and another one responded from across the lake. For a short time, they howled back and forth, communicating in an unknown language. A cell phone rang from a boat where two boys and a father fished. The intermittent “kerplunk” of a fishing lure hit the water, and a quieter “click, click click” of the reel followed. Laughter danced. Two children argued (regrettably, mine). The faint drone of a motorcycle ascended then descended, as the bike drove down a distant road. A bee buzzed. Doors slammed.

At ten o’clock, though, all changed. The motor boats with their loud gregarious engines started up and all else was drowned out. Although certainly still present, I could no longer hear the sounds of life through the noise.

“Intentional listening.” So many distractions keep us from listening. We hear all sorts of things, but we seldom listen. I’ve been thinking about the difference. Hearing is a physical action, but listening finds its source in the heart. It is the picture of a mother leaning close to her child, gently, sincerely, lovingly paying attention to what they are saying and trying to understand the heart and soul of the child.

The skill of listening, dear reader; is it not precious and essential? With the Lord, we may think we hear what He is saying, but do we genuinely, regularly listen with the ears of our hearts? “… if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts …” the writer of Hebrews exhorts us (Hebrews 3:7). Do we neglect His voice and walk in our own ways, hardening our minds and our love for Him by seeking our own voice or the voices of others?

Listen for the voice of Truth, today, and chose to let it permeate your soul and make a difference in your life. Listen for His voice in the difficult circumstances of your life and listen for His voice in the small happenings of your day. Do not let the noise of the world and all of its temptations and lies drown out the voice of Truth. Lean in close to God, in a quiet spot in your home, in your work, in your school day, or in your comings and goings, and seek His voice, the voice of Life, with your heart.