It’s not that it was something bad; it’s just that I had a sense that the timing wasn’t right.
I had to hold back on an opportunity for one of my children.
I knew she was disappointed.
“Why can’t I do it, mom? It will be fun! I’ll be fine!”
There were a number of reasons I didn’t want her to go. I knew she was tired and I knew what was on the schedule for the days to come. I knew a few more things, though, too. Things that I felt were not necessary for her to understand at this point.
“We’re just not going to do that today,” I encouraged her, my hand of gentle care and concern, cupping her heart.
“But, why?” she pleaded. “Why?”
She persisted. I listened.
And then wise words welled up from deep within me, and I spoke softly to her.
“Honey, can you trust me? I think you’re tired, the days ahead are going to be full, and I just don’t think that this is good for you, today. Will you trust me, even if you don’t understand?”
She thought about it for a few minutes. Who can blame her? Trusting when reasons are not crystal clear, is not easy.
“Yes, mom. I trust you. It’s hard, but I will.”
You see, sometimes I am the little girl with plans. I have high hopes of wanting situations to go a certain way. I have things to do, places to go, people to spend time with, and I think they are good – good for me.
But there are times in my life, like right now, when God says, “No, my dear. Not now.”
I pleadingly persist, and He listens.
And then I finally listen, and realize that He says to me what I did to my daughter (I knew I had learned it from somewhere), “Are you willing to trust Me, honey? I know you are disappointed about My holding back on an opportunity for you. However, I think you’re tired. The days ahead are going to be full; I planned them. Furthermore, I don’t think that what you are asking for is good for you, right now; I know a few things that you don't need to know right now. Will you trust me, even if you do not understand?”
(sigh) (sigh, again)
His soft voice searches the hesitant, doubting corners of my heart.
And I finally choose to trust Him, believing that He knows what is best for me and for those around me.
It’s not easy. He never said it would be.
What about you? Do you have a hard time trusting the Lord when the path ahead seems to be uncertain, when life doesn’t make sense?