Wednesday, November 17, 2010

In Memory of My Aunt

I loved her from the very first time I met her. I was nine years old; she was only ten years older than me. It was Thanksgiving. She came with my uncle to my grandma’s house. I thought she was beautiful. She was one of the kindest people that I ever met. Her smile was deep and broad. Her heart was even more so. 
My memories of her are scattered, but the ones I have are all very special to me. We never lived near each other. When I was little we would spend some holidays together. I loved being in her home. It was warm and safe. As I got older we would talk on the phone from time to time, and she would come to visit me when I would have a new baby or just “because.”  Over the past years, we did not see each other as much. I was washed over with the details and busyness of being a mom of five young children.  She battled cancer.
Yesterday, my sweet Aunt completed her time on earth and went to be with the Lord.  Today, I am grieving. I miss her. I miss the way she loved me. I miss just knowing that she loved me, even when we did not see each other for years.  I miss the way she said my name. I miss the way that I was able to watch her mother her own children, and I miss the opportunity of learning from her about parenting and about life.
I tried to tell her how much she meant to me, but I feel as if I fell short.  How could she know how many time I watched her love her children?  How I saw her selflessly meet their needs and joyfully fulfill many of their wants?  How I saw her rejoice in whom they were – not expecting from them anything other than who they were? How I watched her love my uncle?  I miss the way that she laughed and the way that she laughed at herself. She was a bringer of joy wherever she went. She was more than a ton of fun. 
She added fullness to my life. I can’t explain exactly how, but she did.  I am thankful that she is at peace and that she is whole. Cancer no longer ravages through her body, however, I feel a deep emptiness of missing her.  She was wonderful.
As I think about her today, I think I know what she would say to me, “Love your family, Andrea. Laugh.  Times will be tough, but enjoy the people and life that God gave you.   It’s all a gift.”
I always loved her. I still do. I know that she loved me, too.

8 comments:

anniebakes said...

Oh, Andrea, I am so sorry for your loss! I will miss her as well and you put it so gracefully that she could laugh at herself, and I loved that aobut her too. She was a bundle of energy and lit up a room. My heart is with you and your family,

love, anne

Ann Voskamp @Holy Experience said...

Andrea,
The High Calling Community offers sincerest sympathies and our prayers....

Grace and peace...
Ann Voskamp
High Calling Contributing Editor

Andrea @ Unfailingly Loved said...

Thank you, Anne and Ann. I appreciate your care and love. It means alot to me.

Andrea

Andy and Katie said...

Your blog entry brought tears to my eyes. Your Aunt touched me and I never even knew her. The ending of "Love your family, Andrea. Laugh. Times will be tough, but enjoy the people and life that God gave you. It’s all a gift.” is just beautiful. How often we can get caught up in things that don't go right, how often do we dwell on issues and not choose to laugh or love the way we should. Wow....thanks for your writing.

Anonymous said...

What a beautiful tribute!

Anonymous said...

What a wonderful reminder to be thankful for the special aunts in my life!

Carol said...

Andrea, what a beautiful tribute. Reading this has brought tears to my eyes. It is a beautiful reminder of how we are to love each other. I'm so sorry for your loss, but also so happy that you had someone so special in your life to love you and be such a wonderful example to you. I'm here for you if you need me, I'm sending prayers your way, and I love you my sweet friend.

Betsy said...

Thank you for sharing the lovely tribute to your aunt. She looked so beautiful in her picture. How hard death is even as we grieve with hope.

Love you,

Betsy

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